Kat and Karl 2011...

sleepy times

2012-01-25T10:00:00.000-08:00

HA.

Did I really write a post about needing no sleep?

I think immediately after publishing I was overcome by EXHAUSTION.

The whole family (all of us!) were in bed at 7:30 p.m. and we all slept until the alarm went off the next morning.

Then, I dropped Nate off at school on this rainy, dreary day and returned home. NK and I hopped in bed and snoozed another hour.

I refuse to feel guilty about it!

tidbits for your monday, january 23rd

2012-01-22T22:38:00.000-08:00

Nora Kate is rolling over. For several weeks. Constantly. Lay her on her back, walk away... BAM. Tummy time. I'm pretty sure Nate didn't roll over until he was, oh, 7 months old or some such ridiculousness so this feels like new territory to us. Mostly, I tell people it makes me sad because it means she's changing too fast, and, while that is a little true, I'm happy she is healthy and growing and doing her baby thing.

Our night times are a whole lot of musical beds. Everyone seems to start the night in their respective sleeping quarters (did you just get an image of Karl and me in two twin beds with hair rollers and flannel button-up pjs cause I DID!) but somehow we become a jumble of arms and legs and 'mommy' and milk in the wee hours of the night. Karl and I often joke there's a 'boys room' and a 'girls room' in our house. (At least we think we're joking.) For me, honestly, I barely notice getting up at night and it rarely bothers me. I'm pretty sure with five/six hours of sleep and one cup of coffee I can, in fact, conquer the world.

Nate's video game obsession continues. Part of me freaks out about him consuming too much media (even with our limits) and part of me wants to sit and play Lego Indiana Jones with him for HOURS. Because that shit is fun. It is the first video game I have EVER enjoyed (Mario inclusive) and my friend Kristen and I have been having regular get togethers to play it after hours (and Lego Harry Potter which is also a-mazing.) I GET IT GAMERS. Karl keeps slyly mentioning other games I might like but I'm pretty sure Lego games are it for me!

what bring your baby to work looks like (for me)

2012-01-13T14:46:00.000-08:00

So, I just wanted to record some moments of NK on the job. My boss has been quite flexible with this whole maternity leave and baby mama thing. (It helps that I am part time and paid a contract labor rate.) (It also helps that I work in an office of all women.) (It also helps that I can do a lot of my work at home and on unscheduled hours.) (It also helps that Nate is in school and loves it.) (It also helps that I love my job and am good at it.) BUT STILL I feel like not many bosses would allow their employees to bring their children to some of the places my boss has allowed.

Por ejemplo...

One morning our whole team (five of us) went to look at office space in downtown Little Rock. We met with our real estate agent and viewed four different properties. It was the morning of LR's surprise snow shower so I bundled NK up in Nate's old bear suit and we all took turns carrying her.

One afternoon got together to shoot our company Christmas card on ice. Yep, on ice. NK pleasantly hung out in her car seat (In hindsight, maybe I should have brought a stroller that day?!) while I laced up my skates and twirled around the rink (You can't tell from the photo but right before I was practicing my sow cow...cue music: What Would Brian Boitano Do.)

This photo courtesy of www.christenbyrd.com.

One Saturday, I worked Little Rock's annual Holiday Parade (my company coordinates the event). My job was to man the judges station and make sure the eligible bands and floats stopped to be judged. This day, I was lucky b/c Karl and Nate and a bunch of our friends came down and hung out around the judge's stand. So, mostly, NK was in her stroller right behind the stage with Karl. (Though I still had to nurse her in the car WHILE I was tallying the winners after the parade. Multitasking at its finest... er... or something.)

Every Tuesday and Thursday she comes to the office with me. Mostly, it looks like this:

My part of a New Year's ARG facebook message.

I have to say that a lot of it is NK herself. When my boss and I first discussed the possibility of Bring Your Baby to Work, I thought 'no freaking way.... not possible.' If she were a different baby (read: if she screamed her head off day and night) then this would be impossible. I know it can't last forever (and probably not even for much longer...eventually I will have to actually GO to meetings with clients again) but it's working for right now!

nuggets of internet goodness

2012-01-12T08:17:00.000-08:00

Occasionally I like to post random things from the internets. This week the internets is being funny. I don't want you to miss it.

This one from my friend Bryan, who rules at the Internet: a Ron Swanson Pintrest board entitled "Our gift to the ladies to help them better understand men."

This one from the YouTube entitled "Shit Mom Bloggers Say" which probably could not be more on point for some, and, honestly, definitely not just 'mom-bloggers'. ("Can you take a picture while I bake this bread?")

You all know I love bad reality tv on occasion (cue: Pot Lodem theme song from America's Next Top Model!). I don't actually watch The Bachelor but this season seems to be garnering all kinds of "this season is crazy!" attention. Audreya does hilarious recaps on her blog...so, for all you Bachelor lovers out there, enjoy! They make me giggle and I don't even watch.

Also, this one is a bit older. If you love 90s SNL and haven't seen Portlandia... you might want to check it out. It's on Netflix instant.

This one is not suitable for work. Well, really, it's not suitable for MANY places. But the first three paragraphs about getting old... had to share. You might click away after that if your tolerance for profanity is low.

So, what do you have? Any other internet funnies out there this week!? Please share.

sweetie to the sweet love

2012-01-10T20:53:00.000-08:00

My friend Kelli is opening a bakery! Hooray for making dreams REALITY! Nora Kate and I were honored to attend a premier party this past weekend.

Sarabeth snapped our photo - damn PAPA-PAPA-RAZZI. Just can't go anywhere! ;)

I'm also honored that Kelli selected a location so close to my house and to Nate's school! (For all my locals, on Cantrell next to Taziki's and the drive through liquor store... across the road from Pavillion in the Park!) I see some after school special treats in our very near future.

Kelli makes awesome treats and amazing cakes and cookies - this one was at a recent "Alice in Wonderland" party we attended for Nate's little partner in crime Olive. She also made iced sugar cookies with the Angela Rogers Group logo (my office) for our 5 year anniversary party. Really, if you have a wild and crazy idea you want to live out via delicious cakes or cookies, Kelli is your girl.

Here she is on The Book to the Face.

And for all my local blogger partners in crime, it was lovely (to see you)! (Needed three more blogs to link there, eh? Did I miss anyone?!)

focus on the happy

2012-01-06T12:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord, you all.

I haven't been able to FOCUS at all.

I think, for the most part, I've just been ridiculously happy as of late and maybe a little part of me is afraid to say "Hey! Look at me! I'm happy!" because... well... I don't really know why. Perhaps because several not-at-all-happy things happened in 2011?! Perhaps because it's just hard for me to say that out loud?! I know, I know, it's RIDICULOUS... but it's so UNLIKE me to not have a litany of complaints on the tip of my tongue.

(Not that I was unhappy before. But, you know, I'm an over-analyzer.)

I've just got this crazy baby-fierce love thing going on right now with Nora Kate that blocks out a lot of my life's seemingly smaller problems. I think it's A LOT because, after she came out, I had this weird "We're done having kids" feeling. I know it sounds crazy but I do sort of feel like our little family unit is done. Karl says that the baby is too young to make any permanent decisions (HA! Since I was the one who originally wanted 5 kids and he was more the "we'll see after the first one" type.). I'm definitely not completely ruling out future babies (of my own body or of the adoptive variety... I definitely can NOT fathom going through pregnancy and labor again.), but I do have a strong no-more feeling.

So... I'm constantly thinking "This is the last time I'll ever have a baby this small" (I REALLY feel like it is!) or "This is the last time I'll be getting up at night to nurse a baby." Three months in and I still seriously look forward to our nighttime nursing sessions - she really only has one and I use it as my excuse to keep her in the bed with me.... because the co-sleeper that ATTACHES to our bed is apparently too far away. (If you guys KNEW the musical beds that happened in our house you might be horrified. What can I say? We like sleeping with our kids. And one day they won't want to sleep with us!)

Basically, I want to be all selfish and soak her in and enjoy her and lay in bed with her all day. I know I DID those things with Nate but, well, he was the first so we spent a lot more time concerned about things like IS HE BREATHING?! or WHY IS HE BREATHING LIKE THAT?!? Everything seemed a bit more stressful with him. I can't decide if the difference is that NK is an easier baby or that I'm a more relaxed parent. Or perhaps (and most likely) a little bit of both. Plus, I think, with Nate, I KNEW we would be doing the whole baby thing again.

And, really, if I could guarantee that all subsequent children would be as easy as NK, I might consider having, say, ten more?! (Er... maybe just the one more.)

I mean, let's face it. Karl and I make adorable babies.

3 photos, 3 months

2012-01-04T11:19:00.000-08:00

End 2011

2011-12-31T13:15:00.000-08:00

I'm back from my unintentional intentional blogging break. It's been an overwhelming and lovely few weeks. Nate's been out of school and we traveled to St. Louis with both kids for (what was one of my favorite of all time) Christmas. The baby is as dreamy as ever and I'm trying to enjoy the quiet and post-holidayness but struggling to balance it all. I've been trying to carve out some quiet time to write and dream for 2012 but it's just not happening so I'm going to throw in the towel and PHOTO DUMP! Who's with me?

Pre-holiday preparedness complete with Nora's gorgeous stocking, a surprise shower of SNOW (we still have some in our freezer!) and Nate's bear suit on Nora Kate:

We had a Christmas in Little Rock before we headed out of town:

NK and MK:

Ahhhh... a familiar site...Keeping Christmas classy with the nursing cover. Still nary a bottle to pass this babe's lips. I tried not to even think about it over the break.

Hitting the road and stopping in BOOMLAND...which, clearly, is THE home decor fireworks gas station of the Midwest. This is, apparently, my BOOM pose: (Also, for the record, both children were AMAZING on the six hour drive there and back. Karl and I kept looking at each other wondering 'could it really be this easy?' AND IT WAS!)

Hanging out at Grandma and Grandpa's on Christmas Eve morn. NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER.

First Christmas without MY grandparents. Tribute:

Blacklight batting cage in my uncle's basement. Pitching machine on SLOW.

Mylee rolling up to Christmas... she wandered around like this not allowing anyone to speak to her for a solid 30 minutes... (WHERE ARE HER GOD DAMN CIGARETTES AND HER BLOODY MARY?) LOVE HER.

Nate and Karl waiting on presents on Christmas Eve:

Nate's idea for Reindeer Food: Four marshmallows, captain crunch, and (you can't see) a cup of sugar:

Christmas morning with Big Daddy Finn (McMissile, British Intelligence) and Baby Finn. He wouldn't sleep in these pajamas so Christmas morning we told him he wouldn't get any presents until he put on his Christmas jammy jams. It's a cruel, cruel world he lives in.

Looking forward to 2012...

Nerd Christmas.

2011-12-24T11:34:00.000-08:00

Karl found a new app.

(The beginning is Nate saying "Is it REAL?" and me assuring him it's just pretend. HA.)

I suck at Christmas.

2011-12-20T20:29:00.000-08:00

Though I do love CARDS!!

Here are some photos from our Christmas Card Photo Shoot (b/c I'm the type of person who arranges Christmas Card Photo Shoots. Yep. Sure am! I own it and I love it.)

Aren't we so cute you're vomiting all over your computer screens right now?!?

(Photography by my friend Cara Beth!)

it is time

2011-12-12T18:27:00.000-08:00

To put away Psycho Pilgrim...

..and admit that it's Christmas time...

Cue Bloodbath Manger scene.

What's Andy's girlfriend's name? he asks

2011-12-06T14:12:00.001-08:00

Classic.

Additional notes from the field:

A. Nate says 'lasterday' to refer to anything that happened in the past. It's starting to fade and he's beginning to say yesterday and last year (occasionally in reference to hours before) and that's a bit sad. I'm going to miss creative, made up words and his skewed concept of time.

B. Karl and I have recently become obsessed with Parks and Rec on Netflix (which, by the way, WHY DID NO ONE SHARE WITH ME HOW HILARIOUS THIS SHOW IS?) and, since we only have one television, Nate currently requests "the show with the blond lady" before bed; last night he referred to it as "Pecks and Rock" (which he thought was HI-larioius. As did I.)

C. There is snow. I can see it. RIGHT NOW. OUT MY WINDOW. It's not accumulating but it's there. In December. Cue tears and space heaters and staying under the covers until the last possible minute. Stay away seasonal affective disorder! I've been a happy girl this year!

12-4 good buddy

2011-12-04T21:23:00.001-08:00

(Posted on 12-5. DAMMIT! NEVER ON TIME ANYMORE)

I can't believe Nora Kate has been on the outside for two entire months. I went to the grocery store tonight and had to run through the rain to get inside and all I could think (STILL!) was THANK GOD I'm not pregnant anymore. Terrible, right? I'm not a pregnancy hater but I'm very, very glad to have my regular (reformed?) body back. (Like so glad I considered jumping in a big, freezing puddle just because I can.)

Let's discuss Nora Kate. As mentioned in the previous post, Nora has had ONE successful bottle in her life (sometime around 2 weeks; she downed it and we were all 'oh good she'll be fine' and then we NEVER gave her another (sheer laziness) until last week... which was a disaster.

I can cook a meal like this.

Despite her resistance (or maybe because of?) she has MOST DEFINITELY become my little accessory.

Here are SOME of the places NK has been in her short little life. (This is probably the closest I'll ever get to a "Dear Baby" post.)

Day 2: The driveway. (Cue: Dr. Suess' 'Oh the Places You'll Go!') Your first time in the daylight, little girl!

Day 5: The Pumpkin patch. The most stressful part was the twenty minute car ride. Mama no like the car. You were great; she was not. (Newborns are SERIOUSLY quiet. And it was the first time I couldn't really SEE her and had is-she-breathing panic.)

Day 8: First trip to Gigi's house! Get familiar. We plan to leave you there often.

Day 12: First trip to Purple Cow, local kid-friendly haunt. Get familiar. We plan to buy you $4.95 Kraft mac-n-cheese there (that we could easily make at home). WHAT? THE HAMBURGERS ARE GOOD.

Day 13: Community Bakery for your first donut hole and chocolate milk morning. Get familiar. I plan to sleep in as many weekend mornings as possible whilst your father takes you and your brother OUT OF MY HOUSE.

Day 14: First carpool line experience. Get familiar. (No explanation necessary for those reading at home, right? Carpool line = amazing.) (It's important to also note this was the first day I drove in perhaps a month or so. The car felt ENORMOUS.) This is also the day I took Nora Kate in to meet Nate's teachers and a room full of three year olds - WHAT WAS I THINKING? GERMS! GERMS!

Day 15: Karl took this day off work. DO NOT get familiar. It doesn't happen often but we had a lovely lunch date at the same restaurant we went to the day before you were born. We ordered the exact same meal (labor crab cakes!) but this time Nora Kate was in the sling and not in the belly.

Day 16: The heat broke this day. You and I snuggled in bed ALL DAY LONG. Let's put this in the GET FAMILIAR category, shall we?

And now that you've been alive for TWO WEEKS let's ramp it up shall we? The following is a SMALL SELECTION of places we carried you. I wrote them all in my 5 year calendar; to share them all would be ridiculous.

Day 17: Your first Book Club. Get familiar but not TOO familiar as soon this will be one of mama's nights out without child. (See: TAKE A BOTTLE please because mama needs a bottle of a different variety.)

Day 18: Karl's company hosted a fancypants dinner for his former boss. LOVE said boss. Wasn't going to miss it. Slung you up and passed you around the table to all his bosses. Do not get familiar.

Day 19: First Razorback game (on tv but at friends house). Get familiar as your daddy will force you to wear Razorback gear and do dumb hog-calling spirit fingers before your first birthday. ALSO, first Cardinals game watching at different friends house. GET FAMILIAR (clearly) as there's nothing dumb about baseball.

Day 22: FIRST DAY OF WORK! TAKE YOUR THREE WEEK OLD TO WORK DAY! Hooray! I nursed you through our morning staff meeting. I'm working on an entire back to work post. I go in to the office two days a week right now. It's been amazing. It's a strange business bringing a baby to work but, so far, awesome. I think you guys will be entertained with some of my babywork stories. Day 22 you also went to your first Little Rock Tweetup (a social group of my twitter friends). Because your mama is a big NERD.

Day 23: Your first photo shoot. OWL HAT! AHHH! THE CUTE!! Get familiar. We like cameras.

Day 24: Halloween Party at Karl's office. AHHH! THE CUTE! AHHH! EXHAUSTED.

Day 25: World Series GAME SEVEN w/ friends. CARDINALS WIN the World Series 2011! Get familiar as they will win several more Series in your lifetime. CLEARLY.

Final pitch. Pay no attention to that baby down there.

Day 28: Trick or treating all over God's creation. Your brother was a Jedi; you were a pink skeleton. NEIGHBORS. FRIENDS. CANDY. Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired.

Day 32: First pedi visit at one month old. Get familiar as I'm sure you'll see her many times. I have to be honest, this was more like a social call than a doctor's visit. Your pediatrician declared you perfect and we sat and talked about Nate's adjustment and her son's college applications (Karl's been coaching her son in basketball for years).

This is also the week of Nate's croup and my infection. Wonder why we got sick? MAYBE BECAUSE WE WERE RUNNING AROUND LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE.

After that, no worries, we started to get into our routine and only did this:

Hearing test. More work. The Park. A college basketball game. Chili Party. Ice Skating. Turkey Day. Homeless dinner (2). Birthday parties (2). Christmas Picture Photo Shoot. Craft Nights (1). More Eating Out (too embarrassed to tell you how much). (Note to parents-to-be that like to eat out: Take that baby out to eat while they're still teensy and restaurant white noise makes them SLLEEEEP.) More work. Holiday Parade.

If you didn't think I was crazy before, um, you now have my permission to think it.

storage wars

2011-12-01T07:50:00.001-08:00

Fun times in the attic. Sigh. We need a basement.

Randoms:

Adding another human to our house has made me MANIACALLY clean and throw/give things away. Seriously. I've taken no less than 7 full bags to the Goodwill in the last two weeks. Karl is teaching me his wise, minimalistic ways.

We bought a pre-lit tree for the first time ever (versus the real tree we normally get). I feel a bit like I'm cheating at Christmas but it was SO EASY. I'm all about easy these days. Currently, it's lights only sans ornaments. I stick the baby in her swing, set it in front of the tree and plug in the lights. INSTANT MESMIRIZATION.

I had my six-week post birth appointment with my midwives yesterday (at 8+ weeks but whatever!) and everything was fine. The baby is a solid 13 pounds and 4 oz and she goes to her pedi next week for Vaccinations: Round 1.

Speaking of NK, bottles are poison to her lips. So, uh, we're working on that. We've tried a VARIETY of bottles. No luck so far. Pros: No pumping! Cons: Someday I will need to go somewhere without her. I'm working on a dedicated NKisms post.

TIME IS FLYING BY.

the eldest

2011-11-20T13:15:00.001-08:00

Karl and I are both The Oldest in our respective sibling situations so clearly nature dictates that we are the RESPONSIBLE, RELIABLE, MODEL children. We NEVER snicker like 13 year old children when Nate's teachers tell us that he consistently points with his middle finger (He seriously does. It's so wrong.) or how he announced at snack time last week that "my little sister has her snack from mommy's boobies" to all his classmates. YOU KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE WHEN YOUR CHILD'S TEACHER TELLS YOU THAT.

Here are some recent moments with our dearest, darling and ever-hilarious oldest child.

Last week, I was changing the baby's diaper and it was gross. (Fact. At least a 10-wipe operation. Needed back up trash bags.)

Me (standing over the half-naked and half-clean baby and yelling into the other room): Nate, do you know where the Kroger bags are?

Him (coming to the bedroom doorway and yelling): AT THE STORE.

Me (smiling): No, the ones in the pantry.

Him (walking closer but still yelling): WHAT'S A PANTRY?!!?

Me: Never mind.

One week, in the span of one hour, here are three sentences I said to Nate:

1. At a restaurant: Nate, do not lick the window.

(Licking has been his way of dealing with some of his emotions - it's real gross. Like every time he got nervous on Halloween, he licked his light saber.)

2. In our bathroom: Nate, do not put your sock in the toilet.

(Not sure WHAT he was doing there. He said he wanted to see if it got wet. Worked.)

3. In the living room: Nate, put your booty back in your pants.

(He wanted to run with just his butt and his butt only hanging out of his pants. Because that's cool.)

One day in the car with us last week:

Nate: Mommy, what's a bra?

Me and Karl glance at each other uncertaintly.

Karl: Um, it's something girls wear. Part of their outfit. ::launches into awkward boob talk::

Me: Who taught you the word bra?

Him: My friend Jaylon. He says "What's up BRA?"

Me and Karl: OOOOOHHHH you mean like bro.

Karl: Oops.

A few weeks ago, Nate and I were at Gigi's house playing on the floor and getting ready to go.

Nate (glancing at the baby): Gigi, do you have boobies?

Gigi: Yes.

Nate (glancing pointedly at the baby): Good. Then Mommy and I can go play.

Karl and I have also noticed he's been having these bursts of lovey-dovey emotions that I think he doesn't know exactly how to process and are sometimes awkward and always adorable. Generally they involve hugging you until you fall over or crashing into your face with a kiss. They are extra sweet these days because, at 3.5 years old, he starting to REALLY want to play with his friends and not us. Yesterday he gave Karl a hug in the car and said "You're a good daddy, daddy" as he was buckling him in.

We let him play his first video game and, MAN, I can see the screen time struggle becoming an issue. He. is. OBSESSED. I want to throw it in the trash. Currently, he asks to play first thing in the morning and first thing when he gets home from school. Here he is racing with his bra:

He mostly plays a Cars 2 racing game which has both regular races and battle races. In the battle races, the cars have gun (we call them PEW-ers... as in the noise they make. PEW. PEW. PEW.). Instead of saying I shot that car or I killed him, we say 'I pewed him!' or "I'll pew you." which doesn't really seem to be working as a, um, non-violence tactic as last night at dinner he ate his cracker into a gun and pewed the whole table.

Despite the fights (well, we say 'no' to video games and he whines about it... and by whine I mean throws the occasional tantrum...and by occasional I mean, um, often.), he still wants to go places with us. Little Rock's outdoor ice rink opened for the winter (amidst 75 degree weather). My office does press for the rink so we were invited to one of the schmancy pre-parties. (Shameless work promotion: http://www.holidaysinlittlerock.com - details here! I did this website!)

Checking out the ice:

He wasn't sure he wanted to go but we laced him up anyway and Karl helped him (basically drug him) around the rink once.

AND (I saved the best for last) this weekend I opened his backpack to clean out his folder and FOUND THIS:

Be still my heart.

Guess those video games aren't ALL he thinks about.

Sweet boy.

okely dokely neighbor

2011-11-20T11:16:00.001-08:00

The carport looked like this for four days.

I'm going to start this post by telling you how much I like my neighbors (and the fact that they don't know how to use the internet.). I'm going to end this post by stating how excellent the exterior paint on my house looks. I have no excuse for everything in between.

So, we bought our house from our neighbors. As in, we purchased this house and they moved next door into someone else's (now their) house. It makes for the occasional awkwardness when we do any kind of renovation to the house (like when we ripped up all their carpet the first week we moved in). They really are good neighbors - we occasionally feed each others dogs or get each others mail... we have keys to each others houses and have watched each others kids grow up. They are good people.

BUT CURRENTLY DRIVING ME CRAZY.

Over the years (we've lived here six or seven?) we've had those minor neighborly annoyances. I am SURE they could come up with a list a mile long about us - especially in the beginning when their kids were younger and we had, um, a more active nightlife and our friends often wound up at our house - and in our driveway or backyard not far from their windows - until the wee hours.

And we have some on them too - like The Year of the Ticy Taco stand (the photo below is not the actual camper - the real one was bigger and, uh, a little worse for wear) where they parked a camper from their deer woods between our houses for approximately one year (Karl and I decided we were going to sell tacos out of it - hence the Ticy Taco name.).

Additionally, they once hung a dead deer from the tree in their backyard and proceeded to process it there - is that even legal in the city? And, really, it's best not to get me started on their inability to leash their dog and their dogs ability to poop in my front yard (where all the neighbor kids play) or come inside my house if I leave my front door open.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS ARKANSAS.

BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT.

Ahem.

THIS IS:

We hired said Dad Neighbor to paint the exterior of our house. We are currently on WEEK FIVE of the job. FIVE. As in almost the ENTIRETY OF NORA KATE'S LIFE. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't working from home (Ever nurse a baby half-nakey in your bed and open the blinds and BAM SHIRTLESS NEIGHBOR ON A LADDER WAVING IN AT YOU? No, just me?).

It also would be a little, um, less awkward if I didn't come home one day from picking up Nate at school to find my holly bush CUT IN HALF (vertically and TO THE ROOT) and THEN asked if that was okay. CAUSE THAT IS GOING TO GROW BACK NORMAL.

It also would be a little less intense if Neighbor Dad didn't feel the need to discuss his start times (late), lunch times, and end times (early) and ask me if it was okay if he took off early to head to the (you guessed it) deer woods! Which, in a way, is real sweet (but no consult on the tree slashing!?!) and in a way makes me want to shoot myself in the head and tell him I don't mind at all JUST FINISH PAINTING MY HOUSE AND I CAN PAY YOU.

There.

Done now.

I know, I know. I'll stop. I'm sorry.

Like I said, the house looks really great. (It really does).

Carry on.

a longer birth story

2011-11-15T05:13:00.001-08:00

(Settle in. I've been working on this post for weeks and the labor video is at the end!)

I'm sitting down to write this post about Nora Kate's birth and realizing that it will, most likely, take me longer to write and edit it then it did for me to birth her. SICK. After she was born, my darling dad MAY have asked me if there was something medically wrong with me b/c I (apparently) shoot babies out so fast. I don't believe there is; I don't have an explanation other than I am, in fact, a complete freak of nature. (My midwife prefers 'Super Birther' or 'Speedy Gonzales' but we all know Freak of Nature is more my style.)

NK looking foxy at five weeks. HOW DID SHE COME OUT SO FAST?

I've had some time to process the whole episode and, uh, it's so not processed. It's been a little over a month and I'm still reeling. I'm definitely sensitive about the whole situation. Two unassisted-ish home births was not EVER in my plan. (Trust me, some people really can make you feel like a 'freak' about something as relatively normal as an uncomplicated - i'll give you it was real fast - childbirth.) Reactions are varied... just like last time. It's sort of hilarious and almost embarrassing to be like, yea, pretty much EXACTLY THE SAME THING HAPPENED ONLY FASTER. Mostly because that exact scenario was the one people teased us about and, well, it happened. Some people think it's awesome, some crazy, some people are SURE their partner would PASS OUT ON THE FLOOR if it happened to them.

Physically, I'm feeling great and my body healed up like it was supposed to and the memories of late pregnancy are fading - the peeing twenty times a night and, occasionally, needing Karl's assistance to walk from the couch to the bathroom b/c my back and pelvis hurt so bad. I would only need his assistance late at night when I had been resting too long in one spot; I would lean forward to take pressure off and he would hold my arms and we'd awkwardly dance/shuffle toward the bathroom. HOT. But, I mean, surely that didn't REALLY happen? And SURELY I didn't walk miles and miles and miles enormously pregnant and swollen - did that REALLY happen? I remember one walk Karl and I took (Nate in the stroller playing the iPad; it's hard to contain an active 3 year old in a stroller for too long) where I just cried the whole walk and begged him to call the doctor when we got home and take me to the hospital. He reminded me of The Plan and told me that if that's what I REALLY wanted, we could do that, but that he thought I should try and stick to the original plan. I also remember MANY moments of wanting to call the ultrasound tech to find out the sex (she told us if we changed our minds about finding out that we should call her; she also gave us a disc with pictures on it). Karl also reminded me of The Plan on that (though I think he was quite tempted as well). I have to say, on both counts, I'm glad that I stuck to The Plan but neither were easy.

Let's talk about those final weeks. First, I tried secluding myself. (Well, I didn't try it; I did it.) The only person I wanted to see or talk to was Karl. And I even hated him a little bit. Karl's mom was picking up Nate from school and I was holed up watching our (very limited) movie collection. (Super Troopers, Office Space, Juno, Knocked Up, Dazed and Confused, Little Ms. Sunshine.) (For the record, I literally cried for hours during and after Juno. And not just like, oh, little movie tears cry... like large, heaping sobbing.) (Please remember my grandmother also passed away this week and I was missing the funeral so I had a WHOLE LOT going on emotionally.) Oh and BASEBALL. We watched A LOT of baseball. I DVRed games and watched them again. I know, right?

Then, finally, Karl and I decided that maybe secluding myself and crying for days on end was not the best option for an extrovert like myself and, instead, maybe we should start going about our normal business. I really feel like this decision was the turning point for me. It was Sunday evening and I sent out a massive call to action text message to invite some friends over for the Cardinals game. And they came. And it was glorious. And we watched baseball and I stood in the kitchen (where we always end up) TALKING LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING and was able to relax enough and let go of some control. My midwife for weeks told me I needed to "allow my body go into labor" and I'm pretty sure I wanted to punch her in the face when she said it (I WAS TRYING EVERY TRICK IN THE GD BOOK!) but, looking back, there is some factor of mental control I had to give up (very difficult for a control freak like myself) and, once I did and let go of some of my plan, my body was able to relax enough to do it's thing. (Call me crazy if you like; I'm okay with it.)

For the record, my midwives and my OB would not allow me to go past 43 weeks. My particular midwife (Kim) has never had someone make it to 43. At 41 weeks, we started assessments to make sure the baby and the mama were fine (we were). I had her at 41 weeks, 6 days and was scheduled for an appointment at 9 a.m. the next morning at our hospital's labor and delivery - if she hadn't decided to come out by then, I'm not entirely sure I would have left the hospital even if everything had checked out okay. My willpower was hanging by a thread. After that initial assessment, we would schedule them every 24-48 hours to check both baby and mama vitals.

On Monday the 3rd, Karl decided to stay home from work (This is where, looking back, the Birth Story unknowingly becomes a bit like a scene from a cheesy, hippy-dippy 70s textbook.) We took Nate to school together and we went for a looooooooong walk. It was gorgeous outside and I spent most of the walk talking about my grandma and NOT The Baby or The Plan. Then we went to lunch at one of our favorite date restaurants (Cheers in the Heights) and sat outside and I had one of my favorite meals in town. I picked Nate up from school and we went to park with my friend Jaime and her little girl Sadie. (Jaime is also a Labor and Delivery nurse and was going to accompany me to L&D for my tests that week.) We came home, watched TV and I went to bed around 11 with ZERO HOPE of having a baby that night, resigned and totally okay with going to the hospital Wednesday morning and perhaps staying there.

Labor Crab Cakes? Are pregnant women even supposed to eat Crab Cakes?

Well, y'all kind of know what happens next. I woke up from a dead sleep (for real) just before 2 a.m. with massive, crazy contractions and we called our midwives and Karl's mom within the first five minutes of waking because WE KNEW. I am forever thankful that Mary Kay was able to get Nate out in time. I don't remember much of that (I was trying to get in the bath to slow my labor the fuck down.). Honestly, he would have been fine (I think? He would have had to be?) but there was definitely hollering and bodily fluids and no one to hold him so I'm REAL GLAD we didn't have to contend with him being there and could, instead, focus.

Nate this week in the exact spot NK was born!
AND IN THE SAME OUTFIT!

As I mentioned in my previous birth story post, Karl was on the phone with Kim and she was flying down the highway (sound familiar? NATES LABOR!). This time, however, he did not stay on the phone with her. (No, she did not quite make it. And the midwife that lives closer to us was at another birth. And, it must be noted, had we even tried to go to the hospital - which is literally 5 minutes from our house - I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made it through admissions.).

We did try to keep most of the lights out (it was the middle of the night so most were out anyway) so I do remember it being dark. We had some candles in the bathroom and the attic fan was on. Totally creepy and way too cold for a newborn! I know Karl was in the kitchen doing some dishes (because I remember thinking WHAT is he DOING?! ha!) before Kim and Shea got there and, as stated, I was TRYING and FAILING at getting in the bath. I remember screaming for him and thinking THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY I CAN DO THIS FOR EVEN ANOTHER HOUR. I remember the overwhelming need to vomit (I didn't) and I remember Karl looking at me and I think I sort of saw him through my cloudy labor haze and I think he said "I think you are in transition" (Later he told me I had The Crazy Eyes.) and I think I said, "I WANT KIM!" Then, he said that lovely, supportive line: "It's okay. We've done this before. Just push the baby out." And I propped one arm against the wall and one arm against the sink counter and did that. I do remember one of my legs shaking pretty uncontrollably the whole time (I think I must have been in much better shape when I delivered Nate!). My amniotic sac came out with her - she wasn't quite in it... but it broke open the same push she came out and Karl kind of pushed it/swept it out of the way.

The moment the baby came out time definitely stood still. When Nate came out of my body, he cried immediately and then just opened his eyes and looked around. When Nora came out, she was quiet and purple-er and it took her a minute to really work up any sort of cry. After we determined she was breathing and okay, Karl was holding her and wrapping her in towels to get her warm. STUPID ATTIC FAN. Since Nora was still connected by her cord and my placenta was still inside my body, I'm sure it made for an interesting scene. Karl couldn't move around me to turn the fan off, and I was literally STUCK in my standing position. Like I literally remember looking at my arms and thinking "MOVE" and not being able to do so. It took me several minutes to work myself into a kneeling position. Once I got down on my knees, my placenta did come out and Kim and Shea arrived within minutes of this happening. Karl also used the time to determine Nora Kate was, in fact, Nora Kate and not a boy we would have been unable to name! (My dreams of having 3 boys named Nate, Nathan and Nathaniel are officially crushed.)

Shea and Karl and the baby stayed in the bathroom for a good amount of time (20 minutes-ish?) getting her warm (towels in the dryer!) and letting her cord continue to pulse some good blood into her little body. Kim helped me get up and get out of there and into a quick shower before she tucked me into bed. They don't really do APGAR scores but everyone agreed the baby looked and sounded excellent and there was nothing to worry about.

AND THEN WE ALL NEEDED A MINUTE.

And this, my friends, is where the labor video comes into play. We all gathered in bed and calmed down while we watched it.

It was absolutely perfect.

Sometimes, now, I just watch it just because. And, now, if you are interested, I'm going to share it with you guys! As a baby gift, my friend Amy gave us a domain name for Nora (how cool is that?) and we decided to use it for this.

Forewarning: the video is long and you can click away if you so choose! There is some ridiculous video of me at the end ENORMOUSLY pregnant and crazily referencing BENDY STRAWS! If you know me well, you can TELL in my voice and my face how much happier I am in the final video. (read: THE ONE AFTER THE BABY CAME OUT.)

Background image of the site is courtesy of my good friend Christen Byrd. She also took some other amazing photos like this one:

AND IF YOU MADE IT HERE, I thank you for reading!

AND IF YOU SUBMITTED SOMETHING TO THE VIDEO, I thank you! Neither Karl nor I are terribly gifted in the art of video-making but we had fun creating it and hope you like it as well.

OKAY, OKAY, HERE IT IS: http://www.norakatehills.com - DO IT! (Please let me know if you have any technical issues; video is not my friend. It might take a minute to load depending on your internet speed.)

just pitch it

2011-11-14T11:20:00.001-08:00

My friend Jenny recently moved houses. She was cleaning out some files in her old house and came across some information and pamphlets she received at the hospital while she was there for her son Maddox's birth. (He's now 2.5 years old.) We were laughing because she was unable to throw them away - I think we were particularly giggling over a pamphlet about SIDS (clearly not because SIDS is in ANY way funny but because she could not let go of that piece of paper that reminded her of that time in her life.)

I looked around my own house almost six weeks post-birth and found several items I can't seem to throw away myself.

Sitting on my bookshelf: My newborn kit from the Health Department that we didn't use but were required to have - includes eye drops, Vit K shot and some other things:


Please note it says it expires 9-30, Nora Kate was born on 10-4. All the expiration dates on the meds were way past both of these dates?!

On my bathroom shelf: Still mass quantities of hydrogen peroxide (I think I had eight bottles in total? It really gets blood out of EVERYTHING.), some Iodine solution and Peri-Massage Oil which I have ZERO use for. (Well, I'll keep the peroxide.)

Some one might need to come over and THROW IT ALL AWAY FOR ME!

(See Also: If you are a Christmas Card I've received in the last 10 years OR that really, uh, suggestive backless top I wore that one time in college and couldn't part with b/c it's a) hilarious and b) something I plan to use as an example of WHAT NOT TO WEAR for my daughter, YOU ARE STILL SAFELY IN MY ATTIC!)

Mostly, I'm putting this post up there to say I've been thinking a lot about Nora Kate's birth story and how I still want to share some of the details with you all (and write them for myself). I've been working on a post about it for WEEKS now (THERE'S NO TIME!) and it's almost complete. I am also going to (finally) share my labor video.

I'm hoping to have it all posted this evening!

a bit of a doozy

2011-11-06T21:33:00.000-08:00

Source: Pintrest (OF COURSE I'm on Pintrest; don't be silly!) via Tumblr but I can't find the specific designer so if you know this print and its creator please email me so I can credit them? For the moment, THANK YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE! That makes it legal to share, right? Ahem. Geez, Internet. STOP BEING SO DIFFICULT.)

Hey friends.

Last week was a long week, right? Like possibly the longest week ever? No, not in your world?

The short version: It started out okay with Halloween and CANDY and friend visits and then started downhill sliding and DID NOT STOP! Nate had a respiratory infection (croup: his third bout with it and, thankfully, an illness most kids outgrow by 5 or 6.). Karl had an insanely busy and stress-filled week at work (Karl also slept upright in a chair with Nate for two nights). Me? Mastitis. (Which is a breast infection that causes pain and FEVER (the real kind). I won't go into much detail about except to say it's miserable. I even, after laying in bed shivering and maybe crying just a littlelot, called my doctor for some drugs. Thank you God for antibiotics. For me. And (more so) for Nate. (Even if he did throw up multiple doses and act like a crazy person whilst taking them.) Through it all, Nora Kate has been the easiest and least problematic of all of us...just cruising along and growing like a weed. (Oh, did I not mention we hit the baby jackpot with this one?! Because we totally did.)

Nate asleep amongst the humidifier steam. Those pillows are for safety purposes in case he rolled off the couch.
Don't judge me; at that point it had been like two days since he slept.

Needless to say, it was definitely not the BEST WEEK EVER! But that's okay and I want to remember that it happened and that we survived. (Perhaps someday I might even find it amusing. Well, mildly amusing in a nostalgic-thank-god-i-never-have-to-do-that-again kind of way anyway.)

I'm sure anyone reading this could come up with a list of complaints about what's been going on lately. I know it's been a week of rough stuff for many people near and dear to me. Just in my little world I have friends and family dealing with the uncomfortable ends of their pregnancies, friends in the midst of moving, friends taking care of or saying goodbye to grandparents, friends dealing with job changes and losses, friends going through divorce, PLENTY of friends battling kiddo illnesses and ailments - hellllooooo fall - or illnesses or ailments of their own.

I honestly don't really know where I'm going with this post (and am going to wrap it up all awkward like right now!) but I wanted to put it out there because this silly little poster spoke to me and reminded me to play nice.

Join me?

If you need to share your battle week (past, present or future) in the comments, feel free.

just say no to christmas creep

2011-11-06T20:58:00.000-08:00

This photo is to remind us all that there IS a holiday between Halloween and Christmas. Er... one that the apparel apparently doesn't receive quite the same amount of attention.

Respect The Turkey, am I right?

(Also, please ignore the infamous gray tank top... it's really like a security blanket at this point. I will wear it until it's in SHREDS.)

may the force... well you all know the rest

2011-10-31T11:48:00.000-07:00

Karl: Isn't it weird how many kids were dressed in Star Wars costumes at my work Halloween Party?

Me: You work with a bunch of geeks so... um... no.

(And, yes, that grown up in there = Karl.)

brotherly love and rotting flesh

2011-10-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

So one of the most asked questions we've fielded since NK has been on the scene is: "How is Nate liking being a big brother?" (Or 'how is he adjusting' or 'how is he dealing with her' or some variation of that question.)

My answer Weeks 1 and 2? He's been great. He wants to love and kiss her (which is better than wanting to claw her face off or hit her, RIGHT?). We've barely even noticed the adjustment! (Ha! Naive much?)

Week 3 got a little (lot) dicey. Delayed reaction? Reality sinking in? Either way, this week has definitely been the toughest. Lots of tears. Over LOTS of things. Ahem, MY APPLE SLICES ARE ON A PLATE AND NOT IN A BOWL followed by a massive crying fit. The Horror.

There has been much:

Me: "Nate, would you like some peanut butter crackers?"

Him (full on whine/angry voice): "NO. I DON'T LIKE PEANUT BUTTER CRACKERS."

Five minutes pass.

Him: "Mommy, can I have some peanut butter crackers?"

Pretty much it's a little funny, a little annoying (neither Karl nor I deal well with The Whine), and a lot heartbreaking. You can just SEE him trying to process his emotions and/or control the situation and not knowing exactly how. He's been particularly jealous of Karl holding the baby. Karl has been doing bed time and bath time (and many other things with him) for awhile now. I was so miserable and huge at the end of my pregnancy with Nora Kate that I just couldn't play with Nate or even hold him like I normally would. Plus, he's always been kind of a daddy's boy. (It's okay to say that, right? Even if his preference for Karl is occasionally hurtful to me? Cue the: "No I want DADDY to do it!" chorus that's been said way too often in the past month. I get it, kid. You see me a lot.)

PLUS THE SLEEPING. JESUS. Who is sleeping better? The newborn or the toddler? I would seriously go with Nora Kate. Bedtime has been an absolute nightmare with Nate. Additionally, he went through a five-day stretch of waking BEFORE SIX. Not right with Jesus, child. (Because even though NK is sleeping well she still gets up to eat every 2-3 hours.) I think he gets in a light sleep stage in the early morning hours and if he hears the baby crying, he is UP. (And NEVER has he been one to return to sleep or snuggle in once his eyes pop open.) Thankfully, I think we are almost through it and the past few nights have been exceptionally better (resulting in much better days as well; lack of sleep is no joke). Neither Karl nor I are upset about it (well at least not in the rational daytime hours); we're just trying to wade our way through.

Here are some other tidbits I want to remember (in no particular order):

Nate was terrified of her umbilical cord (What's scary about ROTTING FLESH I ask you?!). Here's the snapshots of the first time he held her (which lasted approximately 20 seconds):

Photo #1: "Awwww... she's so cute! I'm a big brother!"

Photo #2: "Wait. Wait. WHAT THE F IS THAT THING?"

Photo #3: "GROSS. GROSS. GROSS. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!" (Commence FREAK OUT and attempt to throw baby on the floor - anything to get that thing AWAY.)

What else?

Nora Kate has been going through some serious hair shedding the past few days, leaving her with a decidedly old man like receeding hairline (photos to come?). One day I was bouncing her and talking to her (i admit it; possibly in baby talk voice) about her old man ugliness and her baby acne. Nate stopped me and told me "She's very pretty mommy and she's doing VERY well." HA. So right little man. I stand corrected.

What else?

He's somewhat possessive of her when introducing her to others. As in: "She's my baby. She comes home WITH US." (50% Possessive? 50% NOTE TO SELF?) I seriously can't wait to see the dynamic between them as they grow.

What else?

Here is a short video of their introduction...about 12 hours after she was born. You can see where his priorities are.

Love them.

Cardinals Charm

2011-10-28T11:35:00.000-07:00

My little Cardinals fans; they totally know who they're cheering for.

I could NOT skip mentioning the Cardinals and their MAGICAL season (TEN GAMES BEHIND to even MAKE the playoffs in a Wild Card position. TEN. GAMES. IN. SEPTEMBER.) and how (maybe just a little) I feel like NK is their good luck charm and how this season has reminded me of EVERYTHING I love about baseball and how I can't wait for my children to watch with me (and, clearly, become Cardinals fans!).

It's an unbelievable story. (Both mine and the Cardinals, right? That's what you were thinking too, RIGHT?)

Let's revisit:

Sept 28: My friend John promised me I'd have a baby when the Cards won the Wild Card race. In return, I promised to name my unborn child after the player that made that happen (Good thing she is a girl?). I became a Phillies fan FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY (It's hard to even type that.) and watched Hunter Pence tap out an INFIELD single to score a run and SQUASH the Braves dreams of the playoffs and allow the Cards IN.

Oct 1 - 7: Both, me, miserably pregnant and trying to avoid EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE and only taking solace in watching the Cards take out the Phillies in five games. NK was born on a day that they lost (10-4 good buddy; also the Cards manager Tony LaRussa's bday) but we won't hold the loss against her. She knew we couldn't focus. Both my parents and my sister were here for that final win Friday night. We were all sitting in our darkened living room, baby on my chest, Nate asleep in the VERY NEAR OTHER ROOM, silently dancing around and (yes) high fiving while Chris Carpenter pitched an INCREDIBLE game.

Oct 9-16: The NLDS Cards Brewers series was almost as satisfying as a World Series. My sister lives in Milwaukee and there was MUCH texting as she silently cheered in bars amongst hostile Brewers fans and Karl warned me I wouldn't be allowed to hold the baby during games if I didn't STOP SCREAMING and Nate correcting a choice word that flew out of my mouth when I thought he was out of hearing range. ("We don't say DAMMIT MOMMY!")

Oct 19-28: Bi-polar games with the Rangers culminating in last night's absolutely amazing Game 6 comeback in the 11th inning... game ended with a walk-off homer at almost midnight by David Freese, who is a hometown STL boy who played high school baseball there. The Cardinals just KEPT COMING BACK.

Tonight is game 7.

I AM FREAKING OUT.

Would I be happy if the Cardinals won their 11th World Series title in 2011? 11 in 11!

Let's just say I'm willing to consider changing Nora Kate's legal name to the player who can do it for me!

(For my non-baseball loving friends, I understand (I mean, sort of. I guess.) if you just scanned this post!)

(BUT BASEBALL!!!!)

(It starts at 7:05.)

the lineup

2011-10-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

I dropped Nate off at school (in his sheriff hat; it's cowboy day!) and then NK and I setup shop in the bed. (Our heat is OUT; snuggling under the covers REQUIRED until it's fixed.)

The lineup: Starbucks, H2O, lanolin, Desitin, Gatorade, Vitamins.

two weeks: WAIT WAIT

2011-10-18T21:16:00.000-07:00

I know time is probably passing at a regular, leisurely pace (ha) for the rest of you BUT IT IS FLYING BY for me and I have no idea where my days and nights are going.

Nora Kate is two weeks old today and here is a jumbled list of what I want to remember today:

Post birthing food = important. We're still receiving dinners from friends and family and I've never been so grateful. (And sorry that I STILL can not eat The Chicken. I KNOW! SURELY chicken consumption will come back someday, right?)

NK weighed (at birth) 8 pounds and 11 oz. At her two week appointment, she tipped the scales to NINE POUNDS AND TWELVE OUNCES. Sweet Jesus, I think I might have my chunky baby! One baby boy string bean baby, one baby girl chunker?! CUE IMAGES OF GLORIOUS WRIST ROLLS AND ENORMOUS BABY THIGHS! If you can't tell, baby fat make me happy. (Not that I wasn't perfectly content with Nate's bird legs and skinny little arms; it's just fun that they are the opposite!)

The Bravermans on the show Parenthood had their baby this week. It was a girl. GUESS what they named her. UGH. REALLY? NO NO NO NO NO. Who knew this was happening? My name, people. Not allowed. (Ok, FINE, allowed but I don't have to like it.)

I took NK up to visit Nate's teachers and classroom. When I got there, they were in the middle of circle/story time. I sat (in a teensy little chair) until they were done and then all the kids rushed over to say hi (and not touch her face!) (well, let's face it, to not really touch her at all.). One of the little girls came over, looked at me, looked disinterestedly at the baby and said "I got one of those at home."

Nora Kate: Day 14 Bedtime Story:

nate and nora kate

2011-10-18T10:04:00.000-07:00

Nate:

Nora Kate:

Nate:

Nora Kate:

oops.

WE MADE THE SAME BABY.

7 days of (mostly) bliss

2011-10-13T08:11:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have one of those weeks that just affirms the word 'happy' exists and that happy is what you are?

That sort of defines Nora Kate's first week on the outside.

It's somewhat ridiculous that I'm feeling that way (HELLO HORMONES!) as her birth was DRAMA, and it was probably one of the more physically pain-filled weeks of my life. Those contractions that shrink your uterus back up? THOSE ARE NO JOKE. I remember them from last time. Evil. My midwives assure me that they are stronger with each child (hooray!) and that, due to my freak of nature rocket births, mine most likely even a little stronger as it was shrinking faster (than the average uterus? unteri?). Oh, and also, that whole med-free child birth thing comes with a recommendation to 'take some Advil' for the pain after, you know, the actual birthing the baby part is over. Which I did. Religiously. (And also an herbal supplement called 'After Ease' - seriously - which tasted like ass and I'm not sure did anything but make me want to vomit.) Anyway, I would just lay in bed and moan while Karl rubbed my back and legs.... somehow I thought that would happen BEFORE the baby came out not after. But whatever. In between those I felt great and they only lasted a day or two.

But enough about that (if you want to talk extensive stitches, lingering pelvic pain and numbness, and new-to-me hot flashes CALL ME!).

Betty White sums it up:

Oh. Right. Sorry. INAPPROPRIATE BETTY WHITE.

Ahem.

Let's talk about The Happy.

(And let's keep it real: As I just typed that sentence I can hear Nate in the other room crying hysterically about watching an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba before bed.)

I think my favorite part of this week is being home. That part I DID plan and that part is working out exceptionally well. I know it's not for everyone but it works for me. I sort of love the idea that we (and our family and friends and midwives) are the only people to love and hold her so far. Selfish? Silly? Perhaps so but it's how I'm feeling today (And in a post-partum world TODAY is what matters, right?!) and I want to remember the feeling for those days when I would pass her off to the gypsies.

Nora Kate is sort of a dream baby. I realize she is seven days old and could be a screaming banshee by next week but I AM LOVING THIS WEEK and I intend to enjoy it. (See also: Newborns sleep an average of 16-22 hours.)

One, my sister arrived less than 24 hours after NK was born. When we booked her flight, we were SO SURE the baby would be at least a few weeks old, but, um she was, in fact, about 12 hours old. Aunt Jenny was ridiculously helpful and spent a lot of time holding her sweet niece!

(Why yes I did take a five-day-old to the pumpkin patch.)

Two, SO FAR, Nora Kate has rarely cried and is easily calmed down by a boob, a swaddle or some white noise/shushing. As mentioned I have been nursing the shit (uh, and the pee. WHAT? SORRY!) out of her (did I not mention that?). At this point with Nate I was already pumping myself into an oversupply that was HORRIBLE and I think back to our admission to the hospital for jaundice and I get all angry inside b/c they wouldn't "let" me take him out of his little tanning bed to nurse and it took weeks to work it out (Not BITTER at all!). Also she's just BETTER at the boobage than he was (maybe because she was baking inside so much longer?) so that helps and it's just made everything much easier and less stressful.

Three, Nate has been in school so that REALLY helps (both routine-wise for him and attention-wise for me). I've had three days alone with her and they've been a dreamy mix of napping, nursing aaaaaand repeat until he gets home from school. Then I sling her up and we go outside to play (One advantage to fall babies in the South - it's GORGEOUS here.). Who knew you could pitch wiffle balls with a 6 day old sleeping in a sling or play Lighting McQueen video games whilst nursing?

Four, (it must be mentioned!) the Cardinals are currently playing the Brewers for the National League Championship (the series before the World Series). I realize this may not be important to some of you but it makes me REAL happy. NK must be their good luck charm. (I'm not allowed to watch baseball and hold the baby at the same time.)

Five, I just don't care as much to listen to advice (NOT YOURS!). (As in, she has barely been set down. Don't care. She has been nursed on demand (Why on earth did I ever think a one week old needed anything even resembling an eating schedule? Does NOT work for me.). Don't care. She has been sleeping in our bed. Don't care.) We've been doing what we know works for us and not questioning it. And, you know what? Based on the low stress and calmness this week, I feel like (maybe?) IT IS WORKING!

NK's 'crib' = day 7.

She's sleeping on my chest right now and I'm going to attempt to write a "Nate's reaction to Nora" post.

(Did I put the 'it works for ME' disclaimer in there enough? I know it works your way at your house and I fully understand and respect that. JUST SO WE ARE CLEAR!)

We're still adjusting to life on the outside.

2011-10-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to write down some thoughts and feelings from her birth but they're still pretty jumbled in my head. It was insane. I will tell you one thing: I am so ridiculously happy to be UN-pregnant. I hope that doesn't make me sound terrible as I am appreciative and grateful that I carried this healthy, gorgeous baby to term but JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH I wanted that child out. When your first baby comes at 38 weeks and you're second at 42...

For those of you that don't know (and, trust me, I talked to very few people about it), my grandmother passed away last Thursday. I haven't really talked about it b/c I'm still sad and angry about the whole situation (her passing was not entirely unexpected as she's been sick for the last few months...this is my maternal grandmother who lost her husband - my grandfather - last November and was not sick at the time of his death) and, at the time it happened, I was UNABLE to drive to St. Louis (I called my midwife and asked her if she'd be up for a road trip birth but she said no.) and be with the rest of my family AND UNABLE to produce a child from my insides. Mostly, I spent a lot of time last weekend crying and talking to my midwives and walking (miles and miles people) and avoiding the world and the ever-present "are you still pregnant" question and trying to block out my own concerns and others regarding post-date babies.

My grandmother's wake was Monday and I spent a long time being angry I wasn't there and knowing that everyone was asking excitedly about the baby that I had yet to produce. Her funeral was Tuesday morning, mere hours after Nora Kate shot out. I feel like, if anything, Nora was a bit of great news on a horribly sad day. I'm still processing the fact that I wasn't there but I can't change it. And, well, Nora is just gorgeous and it's hard not to be happy when you see this:

Hello from NK.

So, what do you guys want to know?

I DID get to watch my labor video and it was PERFECT. We watched it almost immediately after she came out when the whole room (me, karl, nora kate, the midwives) needed to CALM THE HELL DOWN. It took us ALL to a much calmer place and I can't thank you guys enough for sending in pictures and videos and sharing your sweet babies and thoughts with us. It's set to music and amazing and I'm going to find a way to share it but I'm not sure how yet - all babies and mamas private parts are covered up and no babies are named but I am still going to password protect it for viewing.... and I'm going to add some video and photos at the end of NK's story. I'll let you know details.

What else?

I'm recovering. I'm still processing what happened. It's going to take awhile (forever?). I definitely feel more than a little bit like a freak of nature. I keep remembering all the jokes we made about how this birth couldn't possibly go any faster than Nate's birth (ha bloody ha). Poor Karl. I can't stop hearing Karl saying... "You're fine. I'm fine. We've done this before. Go ahead and push out the baby" as my legs were shaking and I'm hollering and praying the neighbors don't think someone is getting murdered at our house at 3 a.m. (All the windows were open and the attic fan was on.) Do you guys want to hear more? I wish I had a recording of him on the phone with our midwife when he called her back to see where she was. He said "It's happening again" in such a resigned voice.... like not really worried about the situation but just stating the facts.)

What else?

NK is nursing like a freaking champ and looking decidedly less jaundiced than Nate. We haven't seen the pediatrician yet or filled out a birth certificate but there's time for all that. We're too busy staring.

nora kate by the number

2011-10-04T06:26:00.000-07:00

Timeline:

11 p.m. Bed time, 41 weeks, 5 days pregnant and totally discouraged. Appointment made for visit to Labor and Delivery at 42 weeks. Appointment/assessment the day before. Baby looked perfect. I looked perfect. (Vital-wise). Blah. No hope of baby emerging as I fell asleep.

1:58 a.m. Wake up. MASSIVE contraction. Party started.

2:03 a.m. Call to Kim (midwife): Come quick!

2:15 a.m. Nate wakes up to do his usual night crawl into our bed. Karl tells him mommy's tummy is giving the baby hugs to get out the baby. HAHA.

2:25 a.m. Mary Kay picks up Nate.

2:50 a.m. Nora Kate rockets out of my body. Literally. All at once. Head, shoulders, knees and toes.

Yeeeea. So once my body decided, it was GO TIME. (Karl did catch her and yes, we were in a bathroom and yes, I was standing again.)

Stats:

8 lbs. 11 oz.
21.5 inches
Girl parts! (which we forgot to look at for a solid 10 minutes!)
Number of stitches: lets not talk about it.

Everyone is happy and healthy, will post some more pictures soon!

dearest friends and family

2011-09-26T09:43:00.000-07:00

dearest friends and family,

http://haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com/ - clickity click.

I will be one week late on Wednesday. Nate was 10 days early. This baby might be 10 days late. These days are AMAZINGLY emotional. I promise promise promise I will tell you (I definitely rank in The Overshare department, right?) when the baby comes out. Thank you all for checking on us and loving us (I can't tell you how much we appreciate it) and apologies if we've been reclusive! I have an appointment in thirty minutes!

AND

Today is Karl's birthday! What a good day for... uh.... a baby, right? :)

radio silence

2011-09-17T19:34:00.000-07:00

Oh.

Hey.

Been doing a lot of this (We call this Labor Hill):

But, alas, this morning... still pregnant:

Good thing the baby's bed is ready (Er...):

yep.

2011-09-12T07:30:00.000-07:00

Last night was a night of multiple showers/baths and (relatively strong) contractions.

Sadly, I'm still pregnant this morning.

I'm patient but I'm getting close to the point of telling this child to:

Total miles walked this weekend: 6ish

Total spent napping: Ummmm..... lots.

I'll keep you posted!

he was wearing a red shirt today

2011-09-06T20:40:00.000-07:00

One thing I love about school is the masterpieces that make their way into our home and onto our fridge.

Like this guy - which judging by the, uh, blue eyes and blonde hair is, in fact, Nate.

Perhaps his teachers are (subtly) telling us it's time for a trim?

Or perhaps Nate is asking for us to stop stabbing him, um, everywhere?

On an unrelated note, OFFICIALLY 38 weeks!! Nate was born at 38 weeks, 4 days - think I could make the same happen this go round? ;)

If you still want to submit a photo for the labor video, please don't hesitate to send it. Karl is just going to keep adding to it until I go into labor.

the most embarrassing contribution photo there ever was

2011-09-02T12:25:00.000-07:00

I need to tell you about a photo that I'm submitting (to my own) video. It's affectionately dubbed the MOST EMBARRASSING PHOTO OF ALL TIME. But there is an oh-so-ridiculous story behind it. Wanna here it? (No? Click away then.)

FOR THOSE WHO DO:

This is a photo taken almost immediately after Nate's birth. I BEGGED Karl to take it. BEGGED. Why? Because AT THAT TIME I felt like I looked absolutely INCREDIBLE. Like DAMN I AM HOT incredible. Like NO ONE IS AS GORGEOUS AS ME AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME incredible. Like DON'T EVEN LOOK AT THAT NEWBORN IN THE BED OVER THERE BECAUSE DON'T I LOOK GOOD incredible.

If you've ever had a child evacuate your insides, well, you feel real empty on the inside. It's completely bizarre sensation to have this big THING squashed up in there and then, suddenly, not. For me, after Nate's birth I think that empty feeling equated with LOOK HOW SKINNY I AM NOW! Hahahha. I mean this was literally like an hour after birth. I was so freaking high and amped on adrenaline and awesomeness (and w/ Nate's birth I was upright! Walking around! Feeling SUPER WOMAN GOOD!) (Don't worry... about four hours later I felt like a truck had, in fact, steamrolled my entire body and could barely move.) I really, truly thought I looked amazing. (Hence the photo-begging.) Plus, I had this blue swim suit cover up / night gown like thing that was all soft and stretchy and amazing and PART OF THE PLAN and I was going to labor in it and I didn't get to so I NEEDED Karl to take a photo of me in it. CLEARLY.

Want to see the photo?

(You know I would not share this photo with just anyone, right?)

(Wow. It's going to be real hard to hit publish on this post. This photo is atrocious.)

Here are the questions I would like us to discuss:

1. HOLY PALE. Am I actually a ghost? How much blood did I lose during birth? Answer: A LOT.

2. Why am I holding my hands that way? Are my boobs leaking? Do I have a bra on and, if not, is this my was of disguising that? (YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE HILLS.)

3. Are we sure the baby is out? Because I think I might still look a little pregs. Or just perhaps pokeably soft(er than normal) around the midsection.

4. Do I actually have a black eye? Two? I look EXHAUSTED. (But in my mind I remember feeling so good and awake and alive!) (Never mind that it was 3 in the morning and I had worked that whole day!)

5. WHY ARE THEY LETTING ME STAND UP? (I'm sure I was told to just sit down already.... I do have many memories of people telling me to SIT STILL.)

Sadly, this is one of the only post-birth photos I have. I'm not advocating full on hair and makeup this time around but someone PLEASE handle the camera with more care and try to get a shot of me looking less, uh, dead.

IN CONCLUSION, I am submitting this GEM to the video and want you to feel like you can submit whatever you so desire so send me your photos for the video! I'm so pumped about it. I haven't looked at a single thing anyone has sent but I couldn't resist peeking to see if ANYONE had sent ANYTHING and, shockingly, some of you have (and I love and appreciate you for it; I'm so excited to watch it!).

Operation Keep the Baby In Until This Video is DONE

2011-08-29T18:03:00.000-07:00

Remember how I was all "Operation Walk the Baby OUT" and I was going to walk everyday? Yea. Not so much. I am solidly (at least for another few weeks) on Team KEEP THE BABY IN. As mentioned, we've had several nights of relatively strong contractions and blah blah blah. Walking makes me have EVEN MORE contractions so I try to do as little of it as possible. (Well, as far as exercise walking goes anyway.) I feel a little dramatic about the whole thing but I would really like some more TIME (and I realize Newbaby could stay in there for plenty more time with or without me walking but I'm avoiding for the moment, k?).

I had my assessment with my OB (2 cm, 30% effaced for those concerned about the state of my CERVIX!) and we also had our home visit with our midwives this past week. I (finally) started to get really excited about the birth and the baby at the end! (ABOUT TIME, RIGHT?) With Nate, we had a baby pool going to guess his arrival date and the nursery was all done up and I basically had NO IDEA what was REALLY going to happen when that baby popped out. This time, I feel like I have a slightly better idea of how labor is going to feel and how Karl and I are going to feel when Newbaby arrives. ( Ish.) Regardless, I want to do something special to show how much love and care we've ALL put into him or her before the official OUTSIDE arrival!

As previously stated, Karl and I are of the "closed door" policy during labor and delivery and early newborn stage, but we still want to know that you all are supporting us. We talked a little in our birth class (warning: hippy-like earthmama statements ahead!) about ways to create support in your labor environment - some people had necklaces that friends had gifted beads to, some people wrote positive affirmations and posted them on their walls, some had labor music that helped, some people had nothing other than a GET THIS FUCKING THING OUT OF ME attitude.

I've been mulling over this idea of creating a video and I did some googling to see what was out there (don't do it; unless that works for you, in which case, google all the cheesy naked women and flowers and sunsets set to instramental music that your little heart desires!) Nope. Found nothing that would suit me. Because what I want is something positive but something funny. And I think you can help me with that. (You will, right?) I feel like I'm pretty realistic about the possibility of things changing (and changing quickly) during labor but, at this point, I am planning for a happy, healthy best case scenario and I feel like this is something that will make me feel both happy and healthy so go with it, okay?!)

Like I want the first photo in the video to be this (taken today):

(Apparently Nate and his golf club understand labor is SERIOUS business.)

And the next to be something like so:

I mean, really, that's what is happening, right? One way or another!

And somewhere in there I want a photo of Nate like so (just to remind me that there will be additional challenges of birthing a baby and parenting a three year old):
I even thought it would be funny to have a couple of gender photos like this to remind me to get excited to FINALLY find out: A bit cheeseball but fun, right?

So here's what I want from you (if you are up for it):

A photo (or two or three) that SOMEHOW indicates support in SOME FORM. (Specific, right?)

It could be a funny picture or a picture of you and your baby or child (or all your babies or your most recent baby w/ siblings) on the VERY FIRST DAY WITH YOU or their VERY FIRST HOUR ON EARTH. It could be a picture of you in labor or in the OR. It could be a picture of you with your sweet baby kitty or puppy.

Example: Nate: day 1, 2008

Or of you celebrating your niece or nephew or first cousin twice removed (what does that even MEAN?!) or just some random newborn baby off the street that you happened to be holding. Or perhaps a picture of you strapped up to a breast pump at 2 in the morning or an image of you removing your screaming, tantruming child from an event to remind me of the REAL FUN STUFF. (Dear childless friends intending to have childs, NONE OF THAT HAPPENS. Ever. I swear.)

See?

Or it could be a fancy Instagram filtered image with words of encouragement like so:

Or, really, whatever you want it to be.

This is how easy it is.

Step 1: Take out your iPhone or Crackberry or (gasp) a REGULAR camera.

Step 2: Take a photo of something FUNNY AND SUPPORTIVE. (Or rustle one up out of your photo archives as suggested above.)

Step 3: Email it to me.

Well, actually, I don't want to see any of them until I'm actually trying to get that baby out of me. So, if you would, email them to newbabyhills@gmail.com (Yes, my unborn child has its own email address - are you really that surprised!?) and Karl (surprise honey!) will put them into video form and we will attempt to watch between contractions or during them, or, perhaps, depending on labor not at all until the baby is actually on the outside! Either way, knowing I have them available is going to be amazing.

Additionally, as I'm officially 37 weeks on Wednesday and the doctor at my assessment said he would most likely NOT be seeing me again (he would see me at 40 weeks if I haven't had a baby), I'm going to try and make the video next Wednesday (September 7). (YOU HAVE A LONG HOLIDAY WEEKEND TO WORK ON THIS VERY INTENSE PROJECT!!!) That would put me at 38 weeks and, who knows, maybe I'll want to resume Operation Walk the Baby Out at that point?!?

Edited to add: In case you missed it, I'm submitting this GEM!

Weekend Update w/ Kat Hills

2011-08-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

Settle on in (Please and thank you.) because I'm about to give you an update AND, perhaps, ask for a pregnancy favor (Possibly in this post; possibly in another of it's own as I feel a plethora of words about to pour out of my fingertips).

Last week was perhaps one of the more difficult weeks of this pregnancy. Everything is fine and good and wonderful... Here's the skinny:

Karl update:

We had some illness floating around our house (and by 'some' I mean I think that this is the sickest I have EVER seen Karl; I even made him go to the doctor). I won't say a lot about it other than we are ALL still recovering and the combination of a massively pregnant woman, a semi-sick toddler and a very sick husband is not the best. We really tried to feel sympathy for one another. I think.

Household Appliance Update:

Our fridge completely and totally broke (it's such a piece; we've paid more in repairs than we paid for the fridge and it's only like 6 or 7 years old), so we bit the bullet and ordered a new one. (We lived out of coolers and on take out for a week or so... I think our final cooler had a gallon of milk, two sticks of butter and a bottle of probiotics floating around in some milky ice water... it was disgusting.) But HOORAY new and clean fridge (that did not, in fact, come with all its parts - ha!)!

Pregnancy Update:

I am still pregnant. It's been a harrowing couple of weeks. I've called my midwife SEVERAL times b/c of the massive number of contractions I've been having at night. (Same bat time, same bat channel. EVERY NIGHT.) There was one night in particular (that was before the homebirth okayed-36 week mark) that even Karl (who rarely freaks) was packing a bag for the hospital. The night was so EERILY similar to Nate's birth that we both sort of freaked. Mostly, I have anxiety about HOW LONG this labor will take. So, every night around 10 or 11 when the contractions start up, I dutifully do a hippy dippy scent and relaxation ritual that sort of works. They usually stop around 1 or 2 in the morning and are gone most of the day (well, sort of gone. They are just less painful and less frequent during the day. Overall, they are not CRAZY strong or painful but sometimes I get paranoid about my ability to judge.). I went into labor w/ Nate around 11 p.m. and had him around 2 a.m. - a little eerie, right?? Apparently, that's when my body feels best laboring. (And, oddly, as a night owl, often the time I am most 'awake' anyway.)

(ON A SIDE NOTE, for all of those jealous of our apparent quick labor luck - this build up stage BLOWS.)

Magical bath oils, massage oil and rescue remedy:

Anniversary Update:

Uh.... insert mushy gushy lovey dovey 6 year anniversary post here. We celebrated 6 years of marriage on Saturday. We intended to go out of town on the actual day but, the closer it got, the more paranoid I have been about being even an hour away from home! Instead, I worked (coordinating a TV spot for Little Rock Restaurant Month that included prepping and dressing Polly the Purple Cow for a Saturday morning show!) (Seriously, mascot dressing is a SKILL that I am adding to my resume.) and we went to a birthday party for some friends. FUTURE CELEBRATION plan is in place. Err... loosely anyway. (We had low expectations this year given the timing!)

Look at the these babies and their OFFICIAL piece of paper:

Labor Update:

I have this totally cheesy idea. That I'm sort of obsessed with at the moment. I sort of love it. I might think it's ridiculous in retrospect but if you make fun of me for having it at 37 weeks pregnant, I will punch you in the face. I want to create something like a video of encouraging words or images. Since Karl and I have been adamant about closed door laboring and closed door newborn time, we (I) want to make some sort of video to watch during labor with (you guessed it) ALL OF YOU (that want to participate) involved. I am writing another post entitled 'KEEP THE BABY IN' and will tell you how you can (hopefully you will want to) help! (It will be up tonight.)

awkward gray tank top photo #4,552

2011-08-24T20:51:00.001-07:00

Taken just a few hours ago.

(Adjectives: Awkward, Pointy, Stickey Outey)

Proof that I have other clothing:

But, apparently, no other shoes.

And, uh, no face.

36 weeks.

I see the OB tomorrow and have my midwife home visit on Friday.

Watch out now.

i'm back to drinking and driving

2011-08-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

So, I have YET ANOTHER confession to make: so much of my second baby worries revolve around my first baby.

I honestly feel like (at this point) I'm MORE worried about Nate's adjustment to the new baby than I am about, oh you know, my own or, Karl's or, let's say, THE NEW BABY (who will only be coming from a 98.6 degree deliciously dark, warm CAVE of COMFORT out into the bright, scary world).

One of my bigger concerns about birthing at home has been what to do with Nate while I'm in labor (particularly if the baby comes in the middle of the night). For the actual birth of Newbaby, many have offered to come get him and neither Karl nor myself want Nate to stick around - not because we think it will traumatize him or that he won't understand what is happening but because both of us want to be able to fully concentrate on the situation at hand. Plus I didn't want ANYTHING touching me last time so I can't imagine if Nate wanted me to hold him or distracted me in any way. Mama needs to FOCUS. Basically, I want him to magically disappear when I start laboring because I also don't want anyone else coming into the house to distract me while he leaves. (We're thinking just open the door at 2 a.m. and let him hang out on the front lawn until his ride gets there? No?) I'm sure I'm over thinking it but I feel like it is an important detail in the whole bubble-up plan. (Maybe I will laugh at it later but I'm sort of adamant about intentionally shutting everyone out for awhile!)

I'm sure it's mostly because I know how Nate acts and reacts and thinks and feels and eats and sleeps (and a host of other mundane details like which sippy cup he prefers and how to properly fulfill his ridiculous requests for JUST RIGHT waffle cuts to syrup ratios) (I know. I even rolled my own eyes.). We spend a lot of time talking about the baby and what he's going to help teach the baby (top answer: RUN. Of course. Something I want him to get started on as soon as possible). We've even picked up some hilarious literature:

But I'm pretty sure nothing is going to really prepare him (or any of us) for the shift until it happens. So, in the meantime, we are just enjoying the time we have left as a family of three (and the damn, currently shedding dogs!) and trying to remember all the wonderfully quirky and odd things about age 3. (Have I mention I freaking love age 3?! Cause I really, really do.)

Three means business. This kid wants to choose his clothes and put them on. He wants to walk beside the cart and/or a stroller (because GOD FORBID he enjoy being pushed around - I so wish he could push me... at least for the next few weeks!) He wants to do a lot of things himself, which, really is both adorable and amazing. And, only a little annoying when you're in even the slightest hurry.) The only thing he hates doing alone? SLEEPING. (Yea. I know. Newbaby will be up a lot. I'm a little panicked about it too.)

A few weeks ago, he requested Light Up Sketchers - specifically the brand Sketchers. Of the light up variety. We have no idea where he got either the brand or the request for light ups? (school?). Either way, they do exist! Since he's a little strange about clothing and footwear, I decided to indulge his request. We hit up Kohl's (Have I mentioned they have quite a bit of boys play clothing on the cheap at Kohl's - particularly of the plaid and khaki shorts variety; I think I've mentioned I'm anti-jean and cargo shorts for boys young and old!). We purchased the Light Up Sketchers and, for several days, he was OBSESSED with telling anyone and everyone who would listen about them.

He is also obsessed with country music. I KNOW. It's awful. For a while we listed to this CD he got from school (think Jesus, 'This Little Light of Mine' music), which was fine (though made me a little twitchy after the 3,000 time of I'M GONNA LET IT SHINE.). Until he heard a particular country song that he now requests basically every time we are in the car. He calls it "The Bottle Song" and the first line is "I'm back on the bottle..." which is about alcoholism and surely appropriate for a 3 year old. Here is a link. I PROMISE you only need to listen to the first 10 seconds. And you might hate me for even that!

Usually, after it's over, he asks me "You don't like that song, Mommy?" and I have to say I don't. Judge me as you will but there are no curse words and, really, other than the bleeding ears, I'm okay with it. Eh. It will phase out.

What else do you want to know? He starts school next week and goes to his new classroom - he and I are both beyond excited! He wants to be reunited with his friends and I look forward to taking some time to myself before the baby comes!

What else do you want to know?

scattered

2011-08-11T20:09:00.001-07:00

Here's (some of) this week:

I showed up for my midwife's appointment on Wednesday. It was on Thursday. (Thankfully, they were able to see me.)

I washed a $5,000 check (yep) in the laundry. (Thankfully, they reissued it the next day.)

My boss emailed me a document and asked me to edit it at home. I did. And then sent her back her EXACT original and somehow deleted the TWO HOURS of modifications I had done. Highly unlike me. (Thankfully, we were able to recreate it. In a timely-ish manner.)

Nate's out of school until August 24th and the sitter situation is NOT going well. (Thankfully, my friend Erin is available to help us out next week and we can, um, not have this sitter come back. Ever. Again.)

Today I was furiously taking notes in a meeting and my friend (and co-worker) Meredith leaned over and highlighted a sentence I had scribbled:

(For the record STDs = save the dates and the Angels were actually referencing little girls dressed as angels as part of a promotion for a specific event.)

In other work related news, I do plan on returning to work after The Unnamed Child comes out. My boss wants me back; I want to come back. Working part time has provided me with a balance I need. Nate's school is solidly taken care of but we're not entirely sure of newbaby care, so, the how and the when and the details I am still working out.

ok guys it's a little tense around here

2011-08-07T11:05:00.000-07:00

Remember how last post I was all: I love late pregnancy (puppies and rainbows and unicorns oh my)?

Yea.

That was then.

Before this morning when I sobbed hysterically for thirty minutes because of (wait for it) LAUNDRY. And not like laundry because I had to do it. Oh no. (Wait for it). Like laundry that Karl (trying to be helpful) was doing. (IN MY DEFENSE, in the same load he was attempting to wash our clothing with 10th grade boy basketball jerseys that had been sitting in his car SINCE JANUARY and some old towels. WHO DOES THAT?) Also I wasn't QUITE awake (because Karl was trying to be EVEN NICER and let me sleep in) as all this was happening - can I use sleepiness in defense of my insanity? I won't go into all the inane details, but, needless to say, it was completely irrational and I felt a little like a (very apologetic) Crazy Person after it was over. (And after I had rewashed our clothing, the jerseys and towels seperately. HA.)

You THERE? LAUNDRY? YOU ARE OFFENDING ME.

I guess the late pregnancy hormone crazy is hitting me a little harder than anticipated. Maybe the heat is amplifying it?

I think mostly I'm having this problem: I don't really want to go anywhere. I want to be home. In my house. Getting it ready for the baby. CUE NESTING INSTINCT! The problem: DOING THINGS for more than five minutes is sort of exhausting for me at the moment. PLUS, well, being in your house all the time means you get it dirty with the everyday and that's driving me insane. (And I fully admit that I live with two OCD boys who put things back in their place; it is ME who leaves sunglasses in the fridge and books in the couch cushions and water cups on the nightstands.)

Plus, I've still been contracting like crazy (actually it's better this weekend but this week with The Heat and The Busy were BAD.). They are relatively mild but a few have been waking me up at night. I've had several discussions with (all of my) pregnancy caregivers. None of us are WORRIED ABOUT IT (Karl and myself included) but we all are keeping an eye on it. (Homebirths are not allowed until after 36 weeks and a risk assessment from the OB.)

My midwife did recommend timing them if they start wrapping (like around my back) and becoming patterned so I did download the Contraction Master app for my iPhone. We used the website when I was in labor with Nate in an attempt to time contractions - Karl sat on the bed with the laptop open and slammed down the space bar every time I said "start" or "stop" (which was frequently since my pattern was never regular and my labor so fast; man I still wish I had that data!). Now they have a schmancy iPhone app and I can press that little pink button all on my own if I want.

(And, on this note, I would like to say that none of this means we expect the baby to come early and/or as quickly). I still feel like I'm going to make it to my due date and/or beyond.)

The belly grows; the infamous gray tank top stretches:

32 weeks, 4 days

Pregnancy is not the ONLY thing going on right now (FOR REAL) but every time I sit down to write it consumes my brain and the words fly out through my fingers.

Here are some upcoming post goodness I intend to write (or am currently working on) for this week (ish):

Onsie-making

Girls Trip to Branson

Update on Work

Nater Tater Tot-isms post

The Power of the Bendy Straw?!

2011-07-28T21:47:00.000-07:00

You know what I LOVE?

SUMMER!

Yes, that's right.

I don't care that I am 32-33 weeks pregnant and the heat index hasn't even ATTEMPTED to go below 100 for days and days and days (possibly a month?) on end. I don't even care that I look RIDICULOUS in tank tops and maternity pants these days. (I even broke down and bought some... maternity shorts. Shudder: I hate shorts.)

The heat is ridiculous, right? It really is. The main reason I'm loving summer this year is that people see THE BELLY they feel so sorry for me being all knocked up and enormous in this heat that's all they want to talk about and they don't even ask me questions like "Boy? Girl? Name? Nursery?" and all those other baby questions I can't seem to answer! They are just like "September? OH YOU POOR DEAR!" all the time.

See? It just keeps GROWING. Maybe the baby really IS coming out.

I had to take several pictures as a "ghost" in order to get Nate to even attempt to pose normally for me. Ahem. Like so:
I'm feeling pretty great to be honest. Like, I'm still definitely in denial that a baby could be here in the next couple of months, but I've hit this point where I'm enjoying the end of my pregnancy and we've been building up our birth bubble. Instead of a birth plan, Karl and I just decided to call it a birth bubble - deciding things like who we want at our birth (answer: NO ONE. Well, we want our midwives there this time!) and how I want to labor (answer: standing, standing, standing or really, anything but laying down) and where we would go (and at what point) if we need to transfer to a medical facility and when we want to go to the pediatrician.

We did get our birth kit in the mail this week. Nate helped me open it. Birth in a Box.

Wondering what is in a home birth kit? Gloves, gauze, chuck/bedding pads, herbal baths, a peri bottle, um... what else? A footprint kit, some other stuff I can't think of right now, A PLACENTA PAN, er BED PAN , er WHATEVER THIS IS USED FOR THAT I don't really like to think about so I'm sharing it with you! (You're WELCOME.):

What else? Bendy straws. HA. For real. There are bendy straws in there. A girl in our birth class was VERY concerned about what the bendy straws (secret hippie midwifery weapons/tools?!) were for but the midwife teaching our class assured us they really are just for drinking (and sometimes you need water or labor-ade and you're in super-weird positions or in a birthing tub (where I will NOT be) and ONLY A BENDY STRAW WILL DO THE JOB PEOPLE!) (Also recommended to have a SIGNIFICANT supply of bendy straws for outside baby nursing sessions if you are like me and feel an INSANE thirst when your milk lets down!) (What? You know you wanted to think about breastfeeding and boobies today, right?!)

I WILL be glad to get my brain back and to start remembering words like CHAIR (it's REAL awkward to be like "Hey, babe, can you drag that thing over here? You know the one with four legs and that you sit in?"). AND AND I WILL be glad to get some sanity back and stop crying when Karl does things like bring me a glass of water and THERE IS NO ICE IN IT. (The horror.)

32 weeks, 2 days.

Nate delivered at 38 weeks, 4 days and is currently 3 years, 1 month and 2 days old.

list of lists. i love lists.

2011-07-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

Summer is such a mix of slow and fast, right? It's flying by but the hot, lounge-y days can seem long when the heat prevents us from much outdoor activity.

I think I have forgotten to tell you several things:

(Of the important) Karl received a promotion this month at his office. For those of you that have been following this blog for a while, many know that he was reluctant to leave his last gig (startup and freelance work) to go back to corporate life but MAN this move has been good for us. It's his story to tell but I'll just leave it at: it's good. We're happy.

(Of the mundane) Some of you may remember my friend Sarah and I were sharing photos at Share Love Everyday. She dropped out somewhere along the way but I'm proud to say I posted 365 photos from March 2010 to March 2011. It (most def) was harder than one would think to post like that and I did not post each and everyone on time. (Though Wordpress allowed me to make it look like I did!) I then took a break for several months, moved the site to tumblr and am mostly posting from my phone (through the Tumblr app) and my Instagram account. Mostly they are Nate images and I do expect anyone to look and I definitely do NOT promise to post every day but I am trying to keep it going for my own personal enjoyment/record.

(Of the ridiculous) The nose ring is officially out. I couldn't handle the moms of the teen moms on MTV's Teen Mom (what? it's so good!) and the checker at Wal-Mart and, well, EVERYONE having one and my nose is spreading (oh yes. it is happening.) and it kept popping out and I've been having bloody noses (i know. it's gross.) so I had Karl rip it out this morning.

(Of the fun) Karl was in Los Angeles for a work Microsoft conference for, well, FOREVER (and a day) so when he returned (flight delayed. of course.) he was on Nate-duty for the majority of the weekend. He did convince me to remove myself from the couch to hit up a swimming hole - a lot red neck, a lot fun. (For my local friends, off Hwy 5 in Saline County.)

(Of the nerdy) Karl and I have been trying a new list share called Wunderlist. We use the iPhone app and it syncs our lists and, when you HIT THAT SATISFYING CHECK BOX, removes the task/item for both of us. So far I'm totally loving it. (It is just for lists; our calendars are synced through Google Calendar.) This morning, I noticed Karl created a "Birth Stuff" list. Ahem:

(Of the sleepytimes) My eyes are now heavy so that is all. Good night moon.

somewhere between 29 and 30 (weeks)

2011-07-12T21:01:00.000-07:00

I started this blog post last week with the intention of Karl taking some stellar 29 week pregnancy photos.

Then he left for LA for a week for a work conference. Within the first HOUR of his departure, my dog knocked over the trash can and consumed an ENTIRE LOAF of bread. (Roxy. Clearly.) Nate also emptied an entire canister of flour onto the counter. I'm ashamed to say that, instead of cleaning it or even scolding him, I let him play in it for a solid 30 minutes while I cooked dinner. I'm pretty sure some of it is STILL stuck to the sink.

So, good intentions on the photo but, uh, you get this awkward iPhone shot instead:

That shirt is one of my REAL PREGNANT looking items! AND, erm, I had just polished off some pizza, and, um, JESUS I LOOK PREGNANT.

So, yea, about this BABY that is SUPPOSEDLY coming out. I'm not sure it's really happening. Like surely, it's not, right? Because when I tell people I could (potentially) have a real, live OUTSIDE HUMAN BEING in about eight weeks, I start to sort of hyperventilate. This pregnancy has been a weird mix of vomit (ittttttttttt's baaaaaaaaaack) and exhaustion and bad skin and normal pregnancy anxiety but I'm not sure that means I'm ready for it to be over so soon. If I remember correctly, pregnancy anxiety takes a backseat and becomes a mere distant and fleeting memory when you have to concentrate on, oh you know, keeping a newborn alive and happy.

So, what do you guys want to know? I just started swelling a little bit - the 100 degree temperatures and 110+ heat indexes this week MIGHT have a little something to do with that. I'm chugging water like a CHAMP and continuing my pledge to, if at all possible, remain near a body of water if outdoors.

I see my midwife tomorrow and I think it's my last monthly visit - we'll move to every two weeks from here on out. I will also see my OB one more time before the ejection. In other medical news, I failed my one hour Gestational Diabetes test and had to sit for the dreaded 3 hour test (which takes four hours plus and which I passed with flying colors apparently). My blood pressure is still higher than I'd like to see but it's been consistent so no one (as of yet) is concerned about it. I also take it regularly at home and it's always lower here so Karl fully believes I have a bit of white coat syndrome. The baby continues to kick me with an intensity that I did not believe was possible from something that weighs between 2 and 3 pounds. I still love the movement - though I've had some killer kicks to the ribs in the last week or so that promise to become a little more uncomfortable.

The plan is, as of this moment, to birth this baby in our home (I haven't picked a specific ROOM yet but you can sure as hell bet it won't be the 4x4 smallest room in our house!). I (obviously) can't predict what will happen but I hope that turns out to be the case. He or she is already in an excellent head-down position and we're hoping he or she stays that way! (PELVIC TILTS Y'ALL!) We haven't decided what exactly to do with Nate while I'm in labor but, most likely, he will go to Karl's mamas.

Several people have asked if I think this baby will arrive early like Nate (38 weeks, 4 days) and I just don't believe that will happen. Mostly because Karl got this invite to a developers conference in Kentucky that is "ALWAYS" in November but, magically, this year begins September 26. When he got the invite, he said "Maybe you'll go early" thereby SOLIDIFYING the fact that I will most definitely, 100% make it to my due date and beyond. Nevertheless, I've started my walking regimen for the 3rd tri - dubbed "Walk the Baby Out" and is an attempt at a minimum 1 mile per day. It's not quite as easy this pregnancy as any form of walking in this heat starts up the contractions so I'm more cautious and WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY slow.

Other than moving Nate into his "big boy" room we still have nothing purchased and nothing set up. We continue to discuss names we hate instead of names we might actually use. As most of you know, our girl name for Nate was Nora Kate and it's still a contender. Neither Karl nor I have a good feel for the baby's sex - we thought girl all along but as it gets closer, I'm thinking perhaps this child has boy parts.

What do you guys think? Should I just call the ultra sound tech and have her pull our images and find out?

the 4th (also known as the holiday I most often threaten to divorce my husband)

2011-07-03T11:05:00.000-07:00

I really hate the Fourth of July.

(SORRY BUT I DO.)

Drunk people and fireworks? It just doesn't seem like a great combination to me.

Also, every year Karl decides he wants to host a party.

Every year it involves an adult slip and slide (which I roll my eyes about every year!).

(May I remind everyone that I am currently 29 weeks pregnant and that we hosted a birthday party last week?)

(May I also remind - or perhaps share with you for the first time - that last year's event ended with Karl and one of his friends eating disgusting charred and lighter-fluid flavored pizza from the grill?)

So. Yea. It's his thing. I do not cook. I do not clean. I do not shop. I do not invite.

To his credit, it all gets done.

And, to his credit, I have to admit this year was an excellent, relaxing event.

There was even some solid kid curling:
Plus, we were in bed by 11 and I didn't have to clean up a bunch of beer cans and other drunk people litter the next day!

SUCCESS!

i'm here for the party and i'm not leaving till they throw me out

2011-06-28T19:40:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to share a few more images from the party. You know, for funsies.

RAINBOW FRUIT TRAY!! Pretty, right?
The birthday boy with friends in the background: (I swear they looked like a little pile of jumping beans, all hopped up on juice boxes and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.)
Some superhero sprinkler action:
A family shot! YES! Thank you to my friend Katie for insisting. Please ignore the enormous water spot on my super classy tank top - I was lifting kids in and out of the pool all morning. (No lectures about lifting please and thank you. IT'S FINE.)
Post nap present opening:
I think that about covers it.

Superhero Lifegaurd Explorer

2011-06-26T19:52:00.001-07:00

June 26.

Nate's official THIRD birthday.

I don't know if it's because I'm all pregnant or what but this birthday seemed more emotional than his previous ones. I went back and forth about throwing him a party and/or who to invite and we finally wound up with a small(ish) group at the house... in the backyard... in the pool... very similar to last year. I sent out (on Facebook - ha! All my prim and proper friends are all aghast!) invites like seriously a little over a week out.

I SWORE up and down I was going to keep it low key. And I think, honestly, that we did (Chic-Fil-A Party Tray y'all).

(But even low-key parties at your own home take some work so praise me as you see fit for doing it whilst baby baking.)

On Wednesday (yes, of this week) I decided, well, hey, I better get the kiddos some party favors. I found these super cute magnifying glasses at a local teacher store and decided they needed capes to go with. (Which makes no sense I know - the theme of the day was clearly not well thought out.)

(LEAVE ME ALONE I'M PREGNANT AND KIDS LOOK CUTE IN CAPES.)

(Side note: Capes are homemade and I could not have done that without my friend Erin and my mother-in-law. "Super easy" cape tutorials found on the internet are, apparently, too difficult for me!)

(Also, the life guard thing is in no way related to the party favors. Do you really think I would pass out SHRILL whistles to a bunch of toddlers? No, I would not. It is, however, Nate's latest 'pretend play' obsession (we only whistle outside dammit!) and he's been wearing his whistle most of the week. He frequently runs around the back yard blowing his whistle and calling out "ADULT SWIM! GET OUT OF THE POOL!")

SEEEEEE HOW CUTE THOUGH?

Exploring for bugs...

What I did not realize is that Karl would teach Nate to set things on fire with his magnifying glass. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?

So, yea, we have A THREE YEAR OLD.

oh internet we'll never be over

2011-06-19T20:57:00.000-07:00

Some days I want to break up with The Internet.

THEN I have a week of GOODNESS LIKE SO:

Exhibit A: This lovely photo tumblr site: http://dearphotograph.com/

Exhibit B: My friend Amy's post about her son's reaction to her emergency.

Exhibit C: (warning: long, lots of cussing, not suitable for, um, many situations): DRUNK KITCHEN cookie bakin'!

....and I remember why I could never stay away for too long!

official: 26 weeks

2011-06-16T19:31:00.001-07:00

Lookey! Here's one of those super-awkward and overdone FEET pictures! With my baby belly in it!

So, holy hell, next weeks marks the 3rd Trimester of this pregnancy. (Right? I don't actually remember from my obsessive reading first time around but I'm pretty sure 27 weeks is it. If not, well, it's close, right?)

I best be writing some details down, yes? YOU ARE MISSING IT ALL.

First of all, this baby is bananas. As in, he or she moves CONSTANTLY and for long periods of time. This is new territory for me. Nate was a chill little babe on the inside. (Not so chill on the outside - perhaps I can hope for the opposite effect this time around?)

I've been seeing, um, many people this pregnancy. Since we're aiming for that whole home birth thing, I've sort of been obsessed with fetal positioning (I know, I know, it's early) so I've been doing some well visits at a chiropractor (about which I have mixed feelings but am going to continue with for the time being. I know some of y'all swear by The Chiro, but for me, not having much pain to deal with, it still seems foreign). I've also been seeing my OB and my midwife and (don't hate) a good friend who gives the MASSAGES. (Seriously she's amazing.)

I'm sad to report I really haven't had any crazy food issues this pregnancy. Well other than the fact that I absolutely can not eat chicken. Shudder. The aversion is BAD and I refuse to go near it or prepare it. (Other than heating the occasional chicken nuggets for Nate - though even that makes me gaggy.) There's also a small issue with lasagna as I prepared it SEVERAL times in early pregnancy and the thought of the meat mixing with the sauce is UNACCEPTABLE. So, yea, never mind... some of these things might be sounding a little borderline insane to you.

My only real food CRAVINGS have been toast w/ butter. Like this:AHHHH yep. This picture is pretty much is like PORN to me.

We decided, additionally, to take another 8 week child birth class like we did last time. We had our first class last night and I had the PRIVILEGE of wearing this endearing, awkward double name tag with our due date emblazoned on it. (They were short name tag holders.)

We debated on whether or not we should take the classes - Karl was in favor as he feels that Nate's birth could have gone differently (well he feels our level of panic would have been far greater) had we not taken them last time. We both liked the idea of a refresher course. Plus, you know, we haven't really put a lot of time and effort and energy into talking about this pregnancy and the classes give us the opportunity to do that (for two hours once a week!) AND we get to meet some other couples who are due right around the same time and all have similar mind sets and goals regarding birth.

What else? Maybe we should talk about what We. Don't. Have. We don't have a nursery. (though we did move Nate into his NEW bedroom - more on that later.) We haven't gotten the crib down from the attic. We don't have ANY names picked out. We don't have any clothes - well, we do... but those are all in the attic as well. In boxes. Somewhere. With some other things from Nate's infancy - a swing, a few slings...I'm pretty sure one friend or another has my pump. Honestly, other than the whole Name Thing, I feel like I could go buy a pack of onsies and call it good. Is that ridiculous? I know people say the second baby gets the shaft sometimes, but, for me, honestly, it's just about realizing there was so much of that STUFF I didn't really and truly need to love a little itty thing and keep it alive and well in those first precious weeks.

shirts: we don't need no stinkin shirts

2011-06-11T16:42:00.000-07:00

Here's what we've been doing mostly:

When I said I didn't want to be outside much without being around a body of water, I was not lying. I'm pretty sure my skin and hair are constantly rocking the lovely scent of sunscreen and chlorine and sweat. (Side Note: My hair is a serious wreck and I'm getting ready to chop it.) I'm also pretty sure pool water DOES, in fact, occasionally qualify for bath time for Nate.

I ALMOST didn't let Karl set up the 'backyard pool' this year (we also have a "real" pool in our neighborhood we go to) but I have NEVER, EVER been so glad that I relented. He can get nerdy about obsessively cleaning and chemicalizing it ANY DAY provided I can get in it every day until this baby comes out. On my days off we usually pack it up, pack it in to the big pool but on days I work we usually get home around 3 or 3:30 and almost immediately pop into the backyard pool, leaving various articles of clothing trailing across the backyard. I'm still rocking my one-piece from last year but I'm breaking down and buying a maternity suit SOON.

When we're not in the pool, I'm obsessively trying to keep both myself and Nate hydrated:

Currently, this is the wallpaper on my phone:Most of you know my troubles giving up the Soda Sauce (on and off addict) and I've been trying really hard this pregnancy. (And forever.) (BUT DAMMIT I love you Coca Cola.)

Water, water, water. All this talk about being in it and consuming it makes me THIRSTY. (Also, it's confusing to an almost 3-year old that we can drink out of the hose and the faucet but not the pool! Nate now asks if there are 'chemicals in it' every time I fill his glass with water. Do I say yes? No? I mean, technically....)

hey yooooooooou guuuuuuuuuuuuuys

2011-06-02T19:11:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of my darling friend jaime

Life is a bit messy here. Every one is happy and healthy but the rush toward summer has sort of left us all a little spin-ey. We've had a lovely whirlwind of birthday parties and cookouts and work and POOL TIME (hooray!) and a bit of a scare with some more pregnancy issues (all of which are fine). (I'll do a pregnancy update soon but in short: I've been feeling great the last few weeks.)

Nate's been - sleeping issues aside - keeping us laughing on a daily basis. His 3rd birthday is (literally) right around the corner and I (literally) have made zero plans for it as of this moment in time. We keep asking him what he wants to do for his party and he will only say "cupcakes. ice cream." Easy enough, right? But is this the year we invite school friends and other kiddos or do we continue on our family and adult friends (some who have children) path that has worked so nicely in the past?

He's been VERY concerned about several things lately:

1. He simply does not understand why Mommy has to wear a "shirt" in the swimming pool when I make him take his off. I keep telling him "girls wear tops in the pool" and "mommy doesn't want to be arrested" but I'm not sure he's getting it as HE KEEPS ASKING.

2. A few weeks ago (on Mother's Day no less) he wanted to know why farts come out of his penis. Yep.

3. He recently noticed our neighbor's dog, Pepper, only has one eye. Since then, he's been constantly checking his own eyeball count. (Do I have two eyes, Mommy?) This has led to many, many questions: "Does Sarah have two eyes? Does Daddy have two eyes?" (and so on and so forth ABOUT EVERYONE WE MEET).

4. Last week he was giving his 97 year old great grandmother a sweet hug good-bye after a visit and got a little ambitious and 'bonked her with his head.' The head bump resulted in her dentures falling out and, I am NOT poking fun of the teethless, but that CHILDS FACE was priceless as he reached his hands up to his feel that own teethies were securely attached to his gums. Since then, he has often wondered (aloud of course) whether his teeth come out and why Mimi's fell out and, so, we spend quite a bit of time discussing dentures and dental hygeniene in our daily conversations.

Other things of note:

1. He's been SERIOUSLY obsessed with wearing his rainboots lately and basically refuses to wear any other shoes. (We've been over his uh, shoe preference issues before, right? Yea. This kid is weird about footwear.)

2. We ask him what he wants to name the baby. First, it was "Daddy" and, yesterday, oddly, it was "Morocco" (THANKS A LOT MARIAH CAREY.). We talk about the baby often but I'm pretty sure he has absolutely NO CLUE what it all really means.

3. We are getting ready to move him from his room to the guest room (HIS NEW ROOM!). Our THOUGHTS are to do this in plenty of time for him to adjust to the room before we bring a new baby in the house. His current room (though the baby will probably shack up with us for a few months in a bassinet or our bed) will go back to being a nursery/guest room. We're also seriously hoping that by letting him help move and arrange and make it his own that he'll actually want to BE IN HIS ROOM. This is probably delusional but maybe he'll even sleep in there without us having to cajole and convince and lay with him for an extended period of time every night. (And then having him pitter patter into our room and bed at 3 a.m. anyway.) Yea, we're working on it.

st. louis surprises

2011-05-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

So, ahem, if you ever need to, say, SURPRISE some one I am your girl. Seriously. It's almost embarrassing to tell you that, for my 30th, I had a second surprise party and again had ABSOLUTELY no clue until I walked through the door.

My mom and my sister did the majority of the planning this round. (Me. Spoiled.) Karl, to his credit, managed to get us there. (This really was a feat in and of itself because SEVERAL parts of the the highway to and from were closed due to flooding in Arkansas and Missouri and we took some scary highways in the dark that had water creeping eerily close to the road.)

Here's a shot at dusk - I don't believe those power poles are supposed to be under water. Now add complete and total darkness - slightly CREEPY!
Anyway we got there. And safely! (ADVENTURE!)

We woke up and hit Grant's Farm and the Cardinals game: And arrived back home to mom and dad's to a room full of friends and family. (Did I mention I am spoiled?)

The menu? All my favorite foods including the famous Gus' Pretzels and ENTIRE trays of P'sghetti's cheese garlic bread.
What more could a girl want?

may day may day

2011-05-23T19:24:00.001-07:00

This may be a ridiculous and nonsensical post and I'm not apologizing.

Because... May.

Jaysus. (Mary and Joseph.)

It's been an exhausting and emotional month. If you were to ask me about this pregnancy, I would describe it in one word: MORE. I THOUGHT that I was supposed to be all easy, breazy and have this no-big-deal-i've done this before type of attitude but (MAN) that is just NOT happening. I feel MORE emotional and MORE crazy and MORE MORE MORE of everything. I finally had a bit of an emotional meltdown last week and I feel much better now. I guess I've been feeling a little like this pregnancy has gotten no attention (from me) and a little like I already know (ish) some of the emotions that come with having a newborn and I alternate between being terrified of those emotions and not being able to contain myself with excitement to feel them.

We have been to both St. Louis (yes, again.) and Tulsa in the last few weeks and (other than a brief planned trip to Memphis in July) I am refusing to go out of town until this baby comes out.

(Expect posts re: St. Louis and Tulsa trips in the next few days!)

oh and

2011-05-16T05:55:00.000-07:00

I forgot to tell you all that I've already started having contractions! (of the Braxton-Hicks variety)

I went and saw my doctor (at one point I was having multiple per hour that weren't going away with water and rest); diagnosis - normal, expect them from here on out.

I had a lot of this type of contraction w/ Nate's pregnancy starting around 30 weeks (not TWENTY ONE.)

This pregnancy rocks.

pregnancy dreams

2011-05-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to post about some of the hilarious and strange and VIVID dreams that I've been having while pregnant. I've been trying to roll over and record them on my 'notes' app on my iPhone when I wake from the dream so please excuse the misspellings and weird punctuation. Squinting at a tiny screen at 5 a.m. and trying to tippy tappy out the dream on a teensy keyboard is not a great recipe for, um, grammatical correctness? (Also, for sane-ness.)

I'm not a huge dreamer but all the crazy hormones apparently bring out some subconscious ridiculousness.

Let's make fun:

This one was not long after a two-day work conference in Hot Springs, AR so I'm filing it in the work-related dream category:

Also, it was after a long drive to STL... hence the ghetto gas station?!?

This one is fun. A lot of suicide bombers I know LOVE ihop.
This one I had to edit a little b/c of some names BUT it's good to know that food has emotions, yes?!?
And THIS ONE is my favorite. WHO WANTS TO GO TO PONCHO CONGO? Hahahaha. AND WHO IS BONNIE?!
Welcome to my crazy.

21 weeks, 3 days

30 years, 20 weeks

2011-05-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

So it only seemed appropriate that I hit the 20 week mark on the day of my 30th. AUSPICIOUS! (as my midwife would say - the 4th also marked her 300th birth! ZEROS EVERYWHERE!).

ANYWAY pictures? BOOM! You all better appreciate these photos b/c I see nothing but ICKY when I look at them. Sucks starting a pregnancy off at a weight that I almost ended Nate's pregnancy with. Sigh. Who's fault? MY. OWN. And that is all the body image complaints you will here from me because I've finally started feeling this baby kick on a regular basis and, well, that's one of the best feelings in the world.

Also, I've stopped vomiting so the world is ALL AROUND a better place!

Also, it stopped fucking raining and I haven't heard a tornado siren in over a week! Hooray!

I've always wanted one of those pics where people are all "My toddler resting on the belly" except, UHHHH, yea, he's too big and I barely lift him at all anymore. This just looks ridiculous:

I think it might be an awkward family photo contender.

And this, more so:

I SQUISH YOUR FACE!!

But this series is pretty hilarious:

HALFWAY THERE FOLKS.

Well, probably (possibly) more than halfway as Nate popped out at 38.5 weeks. Moving right along... I guess at some point we'll need to, you know, figure out what we're going to name this child and where he or she is going to sleep.

baseball, birthdays, beer = boosh

2011-05-01T19:17:00.001-07:00

Some of you know that my 30th birthday is TODAY. (Wednesday. The fourth. May the fourth be with you. Cinco de mayo EVE. Just trying to give you some CLUES for your memory banks for future reference. HA.) Anyway sometime last week Karl informed me that he made an appointment with some bathroom remodel people at 5:30 on Wednesday. At first I thought he did not remember that Wednesday was my birthday. But, then I asked him. AND HE DID. And then I asked him if he thought that I wanted to sit around and talk about toilets and light fixtures on my the day intended for celebrating my 30th year of life. He said (hesitantly) that he thought I wouldn't mind (since the bathroom remodel has been MY plan and since I would be out of town for work on Monday and Tuesday). I informed him (oh so nicely) that I would very much mind and just because I was pregnant did not mean that I didn't at least want a birthday dinner and am sure I yammered on like the pregnant hormonal lady that I currently am.

Little did I know as I was lamenting about being old and having only things like bathroom remodels and prenatal vitamins to discuss on my birthday, Karl was planning a surprise party.

Yep.

SURPRISE.

He rented out the private party suite at the Travelers stadium (our minor league baseball team) and invited friends and family to help celebrate.

Everyone's ticket (I think there were 40 of us!) had a little birthday message on it:

Me = CLUELESS.

Right up until the minute we got off the "staff only" elevator (which I thought was odd but still didn't question; he told me the tickets were from someone at work) and he pointed to a private suite w/ some decorations... I told him I thought we were going the WRONG WAY and were walking into someone's party. Until I realized that OH RIGHT I KNOW THESE PEOPLE. ALL OF THEM!!

I've always wanted to see my name on the scoreboard!

Dream realized - ha!
SOMEHOW (and I am not entirely sure how) the torrential downpour that was headed our way held off until after the game and after the drive home.

My only regret is that we didn't take any pictures. Ah... well.... sometimes you're just too busy enjoying your friends and celebrating 30 years of life. It's definitely a night I won't forget. Karl knows what I love most - being with my people, eating and drinking together, and some BASEBALL and he made it all happen at once - he WINS at life.

They even sent a camera man up:
NOW ON TO TALK ABOUT THOSE DAMN TOILETS!

time for a nate update, yes?

2011-04-29T07:30:00.000-07:00

I haven't done a Nate-centric post in a while which is, well, sad for YOU because this kid is hilarious. It does seem like the older he gets, the less I want to blog some things about his life. Clearly, I don't blog EVERYTHING EVER but I can definitely see the fine line getting clearer.... privacy, discipline issues, growing pains and the like aren't in my personal plans to share many of the details. (At least at the moment. Or until I need your help or advice.)

Here are some Nateisms from April 2011 specifically 2 years, 10 months and 3 days old.

Meal time has gotten trickier with Nate. Some days I feel like he eats two goldfish for his day's total caloric intake. Seriously. Other days he eats more than me, mainly of the chicken to the finger variety. I try not to worry and stress about it - I was picky as a child and am not as an adult. We continue to expose him to a variety of foods and he is still a lover of all things fruit, the occasional veggies and, oh, right THE CHICKEN. (Which I personally have not been able to eat since I've been pregnant. That's right. NO CHICKEN FOR ME. Pregnancy with Nate? No Mexican. This pregnancy? No lasagna and NO CHICKEN. Please god no chicken. Okay, stop saying chicken.)

What else? So the whole potty training thing. I know I've mentioned it before and I won't go in depth but HOLY EASY with this child. It's been months and months since an accident of any kind - day or night. Over one of our snowed in fests this winter, Nate spent several nakey days with the heat cranked up and the pants cranked down...er... off. As mentioned, he's weird about clothing and refused to wear Pull-Ups. Flat out refused. We told him he didn't have to if he went like a big kid and BAM. Done. We had about three or four night time accidents but he makes it all night just fine. He goes sitting down, standing up, little kid potties, big kid potties, at home, out and about, in the bushes at the park (WHAT?! It's a little boy ADVANTAGE, right?). Please don't ask me advice because I'm still slightly shocked at the ease and have no idea how (HOW?) it happened.

We love with puddle jumping.

Most of you who have been around Nate know that the child DOES NOT STOP talking. His imagination is going full tilt and we often converse about turkey pirates, walking the plank, algae eaters that eat storm clouds, Nate's insistence that he is, in fact, Cinderella, power outages that require HOT CANDLES! (say it with EXPRESSION!). We are often chased by dinosaurs at the park and hide from camels under the covers. He loves to be outside and pretend to grocery shop - bringing me grapes and apples oddly shaped like weeds and blades of grass. Today he told me he was a 'monster truck lion' and he was going to ROAR to the grocery store. Yesterday he wanted to look under the couch and came up in tears because he thought a rogue sock was a mouse. This morning he called me both "Kat" and "Babe" in complete seriousness. (As in: "Hey, babe, where's Daddy? and when I didn't respond then, "Hey, Kat, where's Daddy?)

Despite being terrified of sock mouses, he LOVES the thunder and lightning right now - which I will forever be grateful for as we have spent NUMEROUS nights in our teensy bathroom and hallway because of tornadoes and storms that have recently ravaged the South.

Stormy nights in the interior

He continues to have a strong Daddy-preference. Which, in all honesty, can be hurtful at times since I spend the majority of my free time with him (which, I realize is part of WHY.) But, in all honestly, it mostly is a relief and a happy thing. Karl is an involved kinda dad

And plus he buys him shit like this:

Which I only let him eat for a few minutes. MEAN MOMMY.

we're alive

2011-04-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

We made it back from our road trip safely. Though if I hear my husband say "we'll just have to punch through this" (referring to a band of weather) ONE MORE TIME, well, we might not be married much longer.

Punch, Punch, Punch YOU IN THE FACE

Easter was worth it.

rocco patrick, nate patrick, joseph brian, wendy ann, isabel kathleen, mylee jayne, daniel patrick

And the babies, Lucy on the left and Ace on the right:

the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad trip

2011-04-23T09:02:00.000-07:00

So, it's Easter, right? Right. Easter makes you think family, right? Right. So, though Karl and I have a trip planned to St. Louis in May, we thought we might go and see my family. My sister was flying in from Milwaukee. My mom hosts Easter lunch at her house and I thought we might be able to help. My grandma fell last week and broke her wrist (and, after having a bunch of tests, a benign tumor was discovered in her brain that was causing her frequent dizziness so there's that. Treatment to be determined.)

So, a lot going on.

Additionally, Nate was sick last week and missed two days of school (strep throat yo!). By Friday, Karl and I were pretty exhausted and on the fence about actually getting in the car. But the bags were packed (well, things were thrown in a pile next to and one top of the suitcase waiting to be shoved in) and the dogs were kenneled and we had been promising Nate we were going to Grandma and Grandpa's house, so we decided to give it a go. Karl got off work late (of course) and we hit the road, nasty fast food in hand.

Here is some of what happened:

1. My sister's Friday afternoon flight gets cancelled b/c of mechanical difficulties and rescheduled for Saturday morning. A tornado hits the St. Louis airport, blowing out windows and roofs and the airport closes (!!) for the weekend, canceling her flight and many, many others.

2. Nate is so excited to be on a road trip he can't stop screaming TURKEY PIRATE! and causing general mayhem in the backseat. He's been singing a song about scurvy pirates lately and I must share it with you soon.

3. Somewhere around New Madrid, MO (what? you don't know where that is?! Me neither!), we had to stop to pee. (Pregnant lady + recently-potty trained toddler = lots of pee stops!) WE GOT PULLED OVER!! If you've even driven in a car with Karl, you know he is quite possibly the world's safest driver. For real. I don't even know that he's ever gotten a ticket. Def not since I've known him. Apparently off this particular exit there was a stop sign we missed (aren't there generally yield signs off exit ramps?). We apologized and the cop was pretty nice about it and complimented us for having our child in a car seat. Um... yes, is that a problem in small town MO? Perhaps.

3. We stopped at another bathroom (mere miles down the highway! ha!) and attempted to wait out a band of the storm. It was intense. But possibly MORE intense was the chick in the gas station bathroom who walked out, tripped over a Wet Floor sign, screamed "FUCK YOU SIGN!" (literally, just like that!) and KICKED it across the room. No one picked it up. Little shocking, little hilarious, little sad - I don't think her mama would have been proud to see her do that.

4. We hit an armadillo. There were a SERIOUS amount of frogs on the road after the storm and we had been joking about the world's end and plauges and BAM! ARMADILLO. Karl SAYS we just grazed him and that his shell is hard, but, um we were going 70.

5. We stopped several more weather-related times and didn't get to my parents house until around 2 a.m. Most of you that know me know that I don't like driving. Nighttime and storms? Cause for panic attacks. We were pretty exhausted walking through the door.

I know it all sounds ridiculous but it is what it is. We MAYBE should have thrown in the towel on Friday afternoon and MAYBE just stayed home. But we didn't. So now we are thankful that we are here safe and, though my sister won't be able to join us, we're glad she is at her home safe and sound. And, despite a massive amount of damage to the St. Louis metro area, not a single person was seriously injured or killed in the storms.

so about all this VOMIT: RELEASE THE SECRET WEAPON

2011-04-16T13:18:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not this post is NOT actually about me bitching and complaining about throwing up.

(Though I sort of wish it were.)

INSTEAD, it's about my Secret Weapon. Mostly the throwing up has not so much been spontaneous but has a trigger because my nose is NOT NORMAL. Read: Super Sniffer. (As in I can smell the FOOD you're eating RIGHT NOW. Kindly put it down, k?) So, mostly it's triggered by the usual things - food smells, dishes, potty-trained-but-non-butt-wiping toddlers (What? SORRY!) and (sadly) my new car. (Yep. Got a new vehicle at Christmas... can't ride in it without the windows down. New car smell? It's a baaaad, baaaad thing. I miss my 12 year old smelly cloth seats.) It's also triggered by some not-so-normal, non smelly things - like certains textures. For example, um, TOWELS that get too close to my face. I KNOW, I KNOW. So not normal.

Whatever you don't care. This post is not about the vomit, it's about AVOIDING the vomit.

I present: The Secret Weapon.

Oh, why yes! The secret weapon IS some Burt's Bees Chapstick! WATCH OUT.
Here's what I do:

Step 4: Pray it works and Nate doesn't try to "spit in the potty" like Mommy.

pregnancy and the weiners circle

2011-04-13T19:15:00.000-07:00

First baby #2 pressie from Jenny - who clearly knows me well

So, yea, about this whole PREGNANCY thing.

First of all, thanks to all the comments and emails and texts and hugs and facebook comments (because schmancy blogs have FB pages, didn't you know!?) and Twitter @s! I copied and pasted them all into a document and, if I ever get around to making a baby book for ANY of my children, I shall print them and include them.

SEVERAL of you have called me out on the whole "accident" factor of this pregnancy (Hi Mom!). My friend Shannon and I were talking the other day about it and I admitted it wasn't necessarily an accident in the true sense of the word. Not that you want to know The Details of my charting and/or birth control methods but I wasn't really paying attention. Intentional? Perhaps. Ish. Not necessarily. I guess if I'm honest I was hoping that it would just happen at some point. That being said, I am STILL in shock about how much it TOOK MY BREATH AWAY. It honestly surprised me. And it happened during a month I was already feeling somewhat dissatisfied with the world around me so it's taken several months to ADJUST to the idea of our family getting bigger and my sleepy time hours getting smaller.

So what made me take a pregnancy test? Oh, you know, THE WEINERS CIRCLE.

Let me explain. The Weiner's Circle is a hot dog stand owned by two white guys in an affluent area of Chicago. (Clearly you see where this is going, right? NO?!?) ANYWAY, this hot dog stand was featured on an episode of This American Life w/ Ira Glass (If you don't know, TAL is a Chicago radio show that is syndicated on public radio and had a couple of documentary-style seasons on Showtime - available via streaming on Netflix if you are interested.)

So, Karl and I are watching the show one night and the narrator, Ira Glass, starts talking about this hot dog stand and how 15 years ago they started being rude to the customers as a gimmicky type thing, right? And I'm laughing and all, "That's hilarious! Let's go to Chicago and eat hot dogs and yell curse words!! I love ALL those things!" AND THEN the segment goes on to showcase how the stand stays open until 5 in the morning and the horrible, awful things the late-night crowd say to the (predominately black) men and (mostly) women that work there. Here is the full clip if you would like to be disgusted. Somewhere on that clip (right before 6 minutes) the patrons are banging of the glass windows and demanding chocolate milkshakes which are, in fact, NOT on the menu and NOT a request for dairy deliciousness.

By the time the clip was over I was sobbing uncontrollably. And I mean UNCONTROLLABLY. We turned the show off and I literally went straight to bed because I was so upset about it. Don't get me wrong - maybe I'm over-dramatizing or I should hold off judgment until I experience it myself but I just (AND STILL DO) felt sad and angry and SO EMOTIONAL about the whole thing.

All that being said, I am an emotional type of gal as a general rule SO being upset about it didn't shock me but THE LEVEL of tears? That surprised me. Enough that I thought..... Hmmmm... that's maybe not so normal. Maybe that's a bit, perhaps, um, OVERLY HORMONAL. I woke up the next morning still feeling emotionally unbalanced (READ: WATCH OUT FOR THE CRAZY LADY.) and decided my morning pee should take place on a stick.

And, well, you know how that turned out!

I am going to attempt weekly pregnancy photos (maybe?) in this type of format which I have seen several places but most recently loved here.

inquiring minds WANT to know

2011-04-11T05:38:00.001-07:00

Also, on Saturday at lunch my friend Sarah brought up a conversation she had with her husband re: teeth brushing and WHY she got her toothbrush wet first and THEN put the toothpaste on it and I was all "Wait. What? I put my toothpaste on and THEN dunk it under the water. And some one else was all, "I do BOTH!"

What say you? Am I DOIN IT WRONG? How do you do it? My whole morning routine is IN QUESTION. I need answers.

saturday in little rock

2011-04-10T12:46:00.000-07:00

This Saturday was one of those that leaves me with a deep appreciation for living in Little Rock. It was one of those SURPRISE Saturdays (making it that much better) where Karl was out of town and I thought Nate and I might be searching hard to fill our hours because we were sans "Plan" for the day.

Nate and I spent the day downtown starting at the Arkansas Literary Festival listening to local author Kyran Pittman talk about her book, Planting Dandelions (releasing late April). The session was about an hour and Nate made it through about 45 minutes before I hauled him outside to run around. We walked down to the River Market and had lunch with some friends (pizza! candy! bad mommy!) before heading to.... well our intent was to head to NAPTIME but we got distracted by the Game & Fish Center (it's free and Nate LOVES that place if you haven't been yet).

While we were checking out the "FISH MOMMY!" for the 4,000th time and I was trying to convince Nate it was time to take it to the house, I received a text from a friend with the offer of Hairspray! tickets - the current show at The Rep (our THEEE-aaater), which also happens to be downtown. The show was starting approximately 30 minutes from when I got the text. We were almost a half mile from our car at that point but managed to make it to the car, drive the 10 or 12 blocks to the Rep, park (for the free and one block away) and STILL had time to wander around the lobby at the theater before the show started. LOVE that. If we ever move to a bigger city, I shall be sad about the 10 minute commute to, um, EVERYWHERE and the ample downtown parking.

Hairspray was A JOY. For real. The cast was fabulous AND the best part? Nate SLEPT through half of it. I don't know how since it was LOUD (we were close) and I can't pay that kid to sleep most days but he fell asleep half way through the first act and made it well into the second before waking up. I was a little worried about taking him w/o a nap and somewhere unfamiliar BUT I've never been so glad I took a chance. When he wasn't sleeping he was ENCHANTED with the singing and the dancing. I'm not sure what was a bigger treat - the amazing show or the three hour of relatively still toddler in lap! What a great show! The actress who played Penny Pingleton? I would like her to be my new BFF please and thank you.

We came home to eat, bath, play with the neighborkids and sleep. (in that order) (Unrelated: Sometimes I feel like a bad parent when I can't be sure the last time my child took a bath.)

POINT OF THIS POST? None!

We've been LAZING it up today (Sunday) in recovery.

Karl doesn't get home until after 11 tomorrow night and has a work function all night Tuesday night so, yea, we haven't seen him IN DAYS. Since he was just in Austin for 5 days? Yea, I think we need a family vacation. Or, perhaps, just me, alone, on a beach, drink in hand? (Damn you pregnancy!) (I'll take the beach anyway!)

it feels like nothing: chemo angel

2011-04-02T07:15:00.000-07:00

Banner Nate helped me paint; we mailed one a day for 12 days

I promise I'll write more pregnancy updates shortly but I want to talk to you about my friend Ella. She's 13 and in the final stages of hospice care. Since last fall, I've been her "chemo angel" which basically means nothing other than I attempt to cheer her up once a week with cards and letters and notes and little trinkets and stickers and whatever else I think might entertain a 13 year old girl stuck in bed all day long. I don't know a lot about the details of her cancer. Honestly, I don't know much about her life at all. I DO know she likes kitties and scrapbooking and the color pink. I know she has a best friend named Abby and parents who adore her.

I received an update on her recently and her chemo has been stopped and the note from her mom indicated she was in quite a bit of pain.

I found Ella online (I know, you're SHOCKED.) through this program - if you are so inclined to sign up it allows you to be matched with a patient undergoing chemotherapy. There are also "Senior Angels" for writing to those who are in nursing or convalescent homes. You must be 25 years old and commit to a once a week letter or gift. Assignments last 18 months (unless it is an end of life situation). You don't get a response from your patient so it's def NOT a pen pal type deal but you do get updates through the Chemo Angels administration.

So, really, the point of me telling you this is, well, it's easy and little and you might want to sign up yourself. OR you might want to send a card to Ella - which you can do by mailing or delivering to me this week (if you need my maling address email me.) and I'll make her a big package. I know it's not much but I figure any little thing to distract her at this point is a positive.

the secret life of the american, um, thirty year old

2011-03-28T18:46:00.000-07:00

I have to tell you something.

I'm pregnant.

Yep.

15 weeks.

I couldn't bring myself to share it before now. I wanted to. I thought about it. But I couldn't.

Partly because it was a huge surprise and I'm SO not good with surprises (so, so not good). Partly because I've been violently ill (Okay, violently might be a bit strong but there has been a lot of vomit spewing at my house.) (You're welcome for the usage of the word SPEW!). Partly because I'm embarrassed to be starting this pregnancy 20 pounds heavier and FAR less in shape from where I started with Nate. Partly because I've been having trouble eating right and exercising because I'm nervous about being pregnant again and I just feel all around bad and only want things like, say, Sonic fried mozzarella sticks. Partly because I've already been having some blood pressure and heart rate issues and, well, I NEVER had to deal with that with Nate's pregnancy and it's scary (Cue: CUT THE MOZZARELLA STICKS!) and high bp would possibly prevent me from giving birth at home (which is currently the plan; but the plan is open and I've been seeing my midwife and my OB). Partly because I've been obsessively watching the Secret Life of the American Teenager (Don't do it. It's awful.) and other terrible, trashy and awful television in an effort to NOT THINK ABOUT IT.

But, seriously, none of these things are COMPLAINTS just worries and anxieties that I'm coping with. In fact, I want YOU to GET EXCITED because I'm (and Karl as well) really and truly ecstatic to be preparing for another little one. I can't WAIT for a new little personality to join our home (Please God more laid back like Karl this time, yes?). Yes, it was unexpected but we're rolling with it. I mean, some days I still wonder exactly how I accidentally got pregnant at 30 years old but I'm (mostly) over that now. (Karl has already given me the 'it only takes one time' speech several times.)

I guess, after my miscarriage in June, I just thought maybe we'd wait waaaaaaay longer or that I would be perfectly happy with Nate being an only child. My due date for the pregnancy I miscarried was January 23. I found out I was pregnant this time around January 15. Fitting, yes?

Honestly, I'm feeling like a Real Live Human again and I have some truly hilarious pregnancy stories and tidbits to share with you (#1 being how I realized I might be pregnant) but, for now, I just wanted to LET THE SECRET OUT.

14 weeks, 5 days

the impossible

2011-03-22T17:46:00.001-07:00

Things I can do: Birth a baby standing up in my bathroom.

Things I can not do: Remove a teensy dead fish from a fish tank while my husband is out of town.

I KNOW: Why DO we have fish KARL?!?!

frolicking amongst the flowers

2011-03-19T11:57:00.000-07:00

We hit up the Wye Mountain Daffodil Festival this morning. The festival spans 7 acres of gorgeous flowers and is sort of a staple of springtime here in Central Arkansas for parents with little ones. My friend Jaime wrote this lovely piece about family and the festival for a campaign I'm working on at work.

We got some lovely shots ourselves this morning:

The elusive family shot:

And to show you the springtime Nate progression:

Outtake:
Jesus mary and joseph, I swear I've never been so excited for Springtime!

the orange and green

2011-03-15T19:54:00.000-07:00

You all.

It's almost St. Patrick's Day, which (as you know) is one of my favorite days.

THAT IS WHY (clearly) I am up at 10 p.m. making (oddly shaded) green cookies in an (flour covered) orange shirt for Nate's school party. LOOKIN GOOD, yes?

Tomorrow, my friends, we will roll them out and cut them into little shamrocks and, um, chase all the snakes out of - wait, what is this holiday for again? Beer drinking, right?

The Time Suck of Sick

2011-03-11T11:01:00.001-08:00

Day that Nate's fever started: Saturday.

Day it is now: Friday.

Days Nate has gone to school this week: zero.
(Fever stopped Thursday AM but they have to be fever free for 24 hours to go to school.)

Number of trips to After Hours Clinic: 1.

Number of phone calls to pedi: 3.

Doses of alternating Tylenol and motrin: way too many.

Movies watched: way too many. I want to throw the TV out the window.

Hours spent sleeping upright in a chair with a hot and sweaty toddler: way too many.

Hours I went to work at my actual office this week: (embarrassingly) 6. My boss is amazing. Also, I am very behind.

Rooms in my house cleaned: zero (unless you count the thousands of germ-eradicating swipes of door knobs and remotes).

Grocery store trips: zero. Looks like we are eating out all weekend!!

Final diagnosis: something viral, not the flu.... Nobody knows! Fever virus!

Total time suck: one week. What did I miss?!?

is your future really that bright? IS IT!?!?

2011-03-03T17:26:00.000-08:00

(Warning: Old lady style ranting ahead.)

So, a few weeks ago Nate told me that it was bright out and he needed sunglasses. He, my child who hates hats, gloves, most coats and any and all accessories) wanted some shades so we (I) made a bigger deal than I probably should have about it and hit the Target to find some Diego lenses to suit his needs. (Seriously, the styles of kids sunglasses without characters on them - severely lacking.)

I was thrilled to buy them and laughed every time he told me it was too bright and that he needed to wear them (and obligingly helped him find them and put them on). All was well and good UNTIL I tried to photograph him with them on and remembered how much I DESPISE sunglasses in photographs. DESPISE.

See? It just doesn't look as cute:
See? (Insert: I CAN see your pretty eyeballs rumblings here.) This has been a recurring pet peeve of mine and this will be one of my more, um, eccentric blog posts.

Exhibit A:

My baby shower (circa 2008). Aren't we all so pretty? IF ONLY I COULD SEE YOUR EYES SO I CAN REMEMBER YOUR PRETTY FACE IN 30 YEARS (when, all your faces will clearly still be pretty but maybe not exactly the same and I'll be all faulty in memory and "IS THAT SUSAN? I CAN'T BE SURE.) (Disregard the name tag that says "Susan").Exhibit B:

Blogger lunch at Ya Ya's bistro, summer 2010. (Granted, the sun was quite scorch-ey that day and Kerri (down in front) may have actually been blinded had she not had sunglasses on in this photo. )

BUT STILL.

(Related: WHAT AM I POINTING AT? Perhaps people without sunglasses?)

Photo Courtesy of I Am Bossy, our blogger guest of honor

Exhibit C (and my personal favorite):

I was newly pregs and crazy hormonal at my friend Jenny's wedding in Mexico. Jenny asked us to do a reading during the service. Karl showed up NOT in the brown shirt (that I picked out and matched the wedding color scheme) and with his sunglasses on. All I can remember (and that's terrible because I am sure the reading was beautiful and meaningful and carefully selected) throughout the whole reading is thinking.... "I wonder how rude it would be if I just not-so gently ripped them off his face RIGHT NOW" (For the record, I did not and he is forever recorded in Jenny's wedding memories eyeball-less.)
In conclusion, you should take two things away from this post:

1. I am (officially) crazy.

2. You should be wary of protecting your eyes from harmful, damaging sun rays when I'm wielding a camera.

pen-gwwwwines

2011-03-03T14:17:00.000-08:00

Little Rock friends, IT IS TRUE.

The penguins are here.

We got a sneak peak at the Zoo last week w/ some lovely blogger friends.

Nate's all "WHERE? WHAT PENGUINS? I WANT TO RIDE THE DAMN TRAIN."

Ahhhh... there they are! And this kind brays - like donkeys. (Who knew?)
RUN!!!!
It's hard to tell from the picture but Nate was quite sure the penguins MIGHT actually come through the glass. Mostly, he enjoyed chasing around the other eight or nine kiddos (who were actually chasing the penguins).

Good day.

notes from the potty training files: PREPARE TO VOMIT

2011-02-23T10:54:00.000-08:00

Seriously BEWARE: brief poop talk ahead! (Don't forget to CLICK AWAY if it disgusts you. Which it might. But, really, after all these years, if we can't talk about bodily functions then WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS ARE WE?)

So, it's official - this house is (finally) diaper free. I thought the day would (seriously) never come but over our snow-day lockdown we cranked the heat up to like 75 (ok, that was more for me) and let Nate run around mostly naked for three days and, well, since then there has been much peeing and praise (and the occasional chocolate bribery) and all the normal potty training hoopla.

Having a bowel movement? MUCH MORE DIFFICULT. He will hold it for several days and then seem slightly surprised when it happens. I know he knows when he has to go b/c he asks to sit down (he prefers to pee standing up. which is actually slightly hilarious to watch on the regular toilet since he is. aren't you glad i shared that detail with you?). Last week he went (poop. yep. I said it. SORRY.) and the following conversation ensued:

Nate (gripping on to my arms for dear life as he sits on the toilet and peering between his legs): What is that Mommy?

Me: Well, buddy, that's your poop.

Nate: It not a rock, Mommy? It poop?

Me: Not a rock.

Nate: What is poop, Mommy?

Me: (HA.) Well, it's when your body eliminates all the food you put in your tummy. (Um... technical definition there. Good enough, right?)

Nate (proudly): MY POOP IS CHICKEN AND WAFFLES, MOMMY.

NOW AREN'T YOU SAD I DIDN'T DELETE MY BLOG?

snapping out of it

2011-02-22T20:24:00.000-08:00

I'm trying, I'm trying. I've been debating (for the first time in 5 plus years of blogging) of hitting the big DELETE THIS BLOG button. But I'm going to attempt to POWER THROUGH all marathon-like and keep my lovely little family stories going for my PERMANENT RECORD. If it doesn't start working soon, I'll know it's TIME.

So, on that note, here is a completely random-ass post.

I am trying to remember things LONG, LONG ago before the February Funk set it. Sometime in January, I submitted a sketch book to The SketchBook Project.

Photo Source

I'm not really a big SKETCHER but this sounded fun. Basically you buy a sketchbook (everyone receives the same size moleskin sketchbook through the arthouse co-op site), you receive (or choose from a list) a theme and then GO! Sketch away. You can use any medium you so choose. Then you post-mark it, they receive and catalog it and TAKE IT ON TOUR. Each book has its own bar code so every time an individual "checks out" my book, I receive an email telling me so. Pretty sweet, right? There are 28,838 participants this year (ranging from 2 year olds to stay at home mamas to professional artists).

My theme (which is somewhat hilarious given my mood as of late) was HAPPY THINGS!

Here are a few of my pages. (Keep in mind = not an arteeeeest but A CREATIVE. HA. Yep. I'm a Creative. Capital C, yo.)

Here's my silly little cover (It's good to be reminded of The Happy.):

And some of my pages:

(Please note the wash cloth and mitten in the first photo. CLEARLY a well thought-out, creative photography shot. (I apparently can't do multiple creative things at once.))

Love Bench in downtown Little Rock:

Old pregnancy photo (Don't look too closely; one of my feet is MISSING.)
One final amazing picture:

The books start in Brooklyn and travel across the US. (Portland, DC, Atlanta, Austin, San Fran and (ending in June) in Seattle.

Photo Source

My book is in there somewhere!

HAPPY, RIGHT?

blank blank blankity blank blank blank

2011-02-18T07:37:00.000-08:00

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it, right?

i'm meeeeelttting, meeeeellllllting

2011-02-11T16:45:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm not melting but the snow is. And thank baby jesus god mary joseph and all the saints in heaven. (Too much?)

We are OVER IT. (And yes I realize what a PANS I sound like.)

School and work have been out since Wednesday morning (IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT) and we've been home bound and I can't take it anymore. It's pretty much gone and not a single minute of our days tomorrow is unplanned. (PEOPLE. I NEED PEOPLE.)

Though we DID manage to eek some final moments of enjoyment out of the cold and will be whining about the heat in no time I am sure. (That was my lead in to the plethora of photos - lame I know but PHOTOS = yea, right?)

We did a little sledding redneck pool toy style:

The $2 intertube was the most popular (and the fastest) until we ran into a tree (Alright it was a shrub that was NEXT TO a tree, but a tree just sounds so much more dramatic.) and popped it.

And then while Nate napped (hooray!) we had some adult snow time and made the perfect snowman, a vast improvement over our last attempt as far as Obtaining the Perfect Snowman goes.

Partly this is because my OCD husband was helping to sculpt the balls (ahem), partly because this snow was PERFECT for snowman-makin', and partly because Nate was napping and none of the neighborkids were helping this go round.

ALSO we had a little help from my mother-in-law, keeper of EVERYTHING USEFUL. (Seriously, one time I told her we were having a fiesta-themed party and she ran to her storage room to get her stash of perfectly-worn and amazing mexican blankets... which (clearly) were the perfect touch to the party!) (Also that sled with the steering wheel that all the kids went gaga over? From her.)

ANYWAY, she provided us with THIS:

Which had very USEFUL instructions such as these:

(In case you are unfamiliar with The Snow Man.)

Whilst we built we also found the perfect beer holders (his and hers?):

And I took pictures (seriously like 7) of Nate's boots. (Are they for girls? Are they for boys? Who knows but I love them anyway.) He's been wearing them around the house for days with his undies and a t-shirt, which for some reason is the picture of toddlerhood to me and makes me indescribably happy.)

In CONCLUSION, this snowman was way too perfect that we just wanted to destroy him:

(We didn't but glorious Mr. SUN did today!)

oh rexy you so sexy

2011-02-07T17:15:00.000-08:00

We accidentally stole a dinosaur from the hairdresser.

Somehow, we wound up celebrating the dino's birthday at dinner (please note the delicious cake).

He got his own piece of pizza as well.
JEALOUS of our stellar parenting skills?

snow day in the south

2011-02-04T10:19:00.000-08:00

Hmmmmmmmmmmm........

(Though please note I did take this picture through the window because it's, uh, cold.)

(Edited to add: around 11 the grass has some sticking! I shall update you with an after shot this evening?)

if I were DOING IT RIGHT this is what I would have said

2011-01-31T08:30:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday:

Karl's basketball kiddos went into double overtime at Karl's basketball game. DOUBLE OVERTIME. Nate thinks going to Karl's games is akin to going to Disney World (BASKETBALL! BIG KIDS!) but this was a little long for him. I let him build up his immune system by rolling around on the floor and climbing up and down the nasty bleachers. (Yep, I'm that mom. The best part is Karl coaches our pediatirician's son so she and I sit together at all the games. It's DOCTOR APPROVED germ-rolling people!)

Oh and they did win the game! My heart almost exploded from my chest four times.

Last Friday:

I cooked all day for dinner under the Broadway Bridge with our homeless friends. We had a great turnout and (seriously) just enough Italian food to feed everyone. My friend Erin and her husband joined us this month and Erin (who is an Animal Lover) wanted to bring some individually wrapped bags of dog food. I'm not going to lie y'all, I seriously doubted that any one would take it. I know there are some homeless with dogs but we haven't encountered any animals during our events. BUT Erin asked around and (seriously) the second person she talked to acted as a Dog Food Coordinator w/ one of the local non-profits to help distribute dog food around the city! How cool is that? She definitely made his night (and mine too)!

On Saturday:

We celebrated my friend Leah turning 30 with Mexican food on a patio (helllllo patio weather GET HERE and STAY HERE), some board games and a Wii dance party. Since a lot of our group is turning the big 3-0 this year, it has been fun to make a bigger deal than normal for everyone's birthday.

Last weekend, at a joint 30th party for my friends Kristen and Elizabeth The Cops even made an appearance (at the ripe ole hour of 10:30). Having the police show up kinda made us feel 22 again. HA. It was the joke of the evening anyway. Especially since everyone was winding down around midnight!

We have another great week planned this week and TOMORROW BEGINS THE DREADED FEBRUARY so I'll keep you posted!

i'll convert you i promise

2011-01-26T09:44:00.000-08:00

First, thank you for your book suggestions.

Last night was my turn to host and it was Book Club #18! EIGHT-TEEN.

That, my friends, is dedication.

We decided to make a list of books and their selectors.

I highly suggest joining (or starting!) a book club. (I was anti-bookclub from the start and have since been 100% fully CONVERTED.)

hibernation continuation

2011-01-20T19:14:00.000-08:00

Hibernation continues in all it's January glorious-ness.

I have (as of this moment) declared this winter the Winter of Reading. I need suggestions. STAT.

I am currently reading some Stephen King (Lisey's Story). I haven't read a good Stephen King novel since I was, oh, 12? 13? (My parents were very generous with their library!)

Next week is my book club selection - Room by an Irish author, Emma Donoghue - I HIGHLY recommend. (In fair warning, it is about sex slavery.)

ANYWAY, YOU THERE (tall girl. beverly.) I need your reading list. Share?

radio silence: beep beep boop

2011-01-18T19:31:00.000-08:00

We've been quiet.

empty-socket snowman eyeholes ARE creepy right?

2011-01-13T19:25:00.001-08:00

Well, I know you all were wondering (desperately) what Nate thought of all the (five whole inches of!) snow. The only thing Nate has said regarding the HOURS of snow play (when questioned by teachers and grandparents and even complete strangers): "The snowman eyes fall off. He no hurt you." (Said very solemnly.)

Lawd, I have scarred my child from snowpeople for life!

His little imagination has been working OVERTIME lately and he often pretends that his fingers are characters from Toy Story (Jesse, Bullseye, Woody and occasionally Buzz Lightyear to be specific) and that we need to nibble them. ('Eat Buzz Whightyear Mommy?' he asks.) (And I totally do.)

This afternoon he stopped playing suddenly and said "Mommy, catch the hamburger from the sky!" and then proceeded to pretend to catch and eat it, complete with mustard and onions (or so he claimed).

I would LOVE to be inside that little head for just FIVE MINUTES!

I have a grand post in the works... perhaps tomorrow? Karl started his volunteer basketball coaching gig (5th year!) and the hours he spends at the gym seem MUCH longer now that Nate is older and asks "Where Daddy?" every 30 seconds.

I leave you with this rare family pic (I guess we like orange, eh?) (Also, I swear I had gloves on and a coat at some point) (Also how cool do the TREES look in the backyard?):