i swear i didn't lie

I do have 10 posts in my queue.  I guess I need to figure out the whole "scheduling a post" function of blogging (NINE YEARS LATER), huh?  You know me. I write. I hit publish. There is little planning to this ole lifestyle blog of mine. I DO WHAT I WANT.

AHEM.  Anyway, this post is not about THAT.

It is about the seemingly simple but oft impossible requests of Nate's teachers for holiday parties at his school.  In their defense, I don't think they are intentionally asking for things that are all that difficult; I think maybe I am just INEPT when it comes to providing classroom treats. 

Exhibit A: Last year, Ms. Janice asked for individual ice cream cups with wooden spoons for a party. Valentines? Easter?  I don't even remember.

My mind immediately went this direction:

YES.  I literally could taste the wooden spoon on my tongue (Correct usage haters of the word literally SHUT UP). These kids would KNOW good, old fashioned grade school cafeteria-style ice cream cups.  Except not.  Because after two Krogers and a Walmart visit, it was determined this no longer exists. (If you have seen them or anything similar, DON'T TELL ME.) Instead, there was some Blue Bell option for like $3 a cup with a little NOT RETRO utensil.  Disappointment. 

Exhibit B: This year, Ms Dee Dee asked if, for the classroom St. Patrick's Day party, I could procure mini-cupcakes....so the kids didn't get hopped up on the sugar of a FULL cupcake. 'You can get them at Wal-Mart,' she said. No. No you can not. Well, perhaps at a WM fancier than mine? (Again do NOT tell me if you've seen them there!) I loathe setting foot in the World of Wal so this was fine. I sent Karl on a mission to find some at the fancy Kroger. Success! But only one box of 12 left. 17 students in the classroom. Damn. We bought them anyway and found a matching 12 at another Kroger (not the first second one we stopped at that had zero mini-cupcakes but the SECOND second one.).  DAMN YOU MINI-CUPCAKES, I WILL FIND YOU.

Aside I: And for those of you who would suggest I should just order them from a bakery, yes, maybe I should have done and saved myself some sanity that but bakery = $1.25/mini-cupcake and grocery store = $2.99/box of 12.  For a group of 17 kids who will probably just lick the nasty icing off and definitely NOT appreciate bakery deliciousness, grocery store it is! 

Aside II: For those of you that would suggest I just buy the REGULAR SIZED cupcakes and stop THE MADNESS (and all this yammering on), you do realize I am somewhat of a people-pleaser, right? And also a scooch of an over-achiever? (No? You don't get that?) 

Aside III: And for those of you that would suggest I just make mini-cupcakes... well.. ha bloody ha!  You don't know me very well!


And Exhibit C: Nate's teacher requested we buy (and fill) four "large" Easter eggs. She even sent home a note with a drawing of a large-sized egg so we could have a guideline. Now, I love Nate's teacher with my ENTIRE heart. She is wonderful. But after some furious texting amongst the classroom mamas, it was determined that neither Wal-Mart, Target, the Dollar Tree or Walgreens had any large-sized eggs remaining. THE HORROR.

I took a trip to Target and I found these guys.  They're medium-sized AND already-filled with candy (sorry parents!) eggs for $1/each.

SOLD.  I bought them. I only felt slight guilt. TEACHER FRIENDS, help me out - is close good enough? Are future big-kid school supply lists going to be the bane of my existence?

Some of the mamas definitely found the LARGE eggs.  Thankfully, this one was filled with stickers and tattoos.  

If this sounds complicated and ridiculous, well, I kind of think it is! I don't really enjoy driving around looking for specific items. I want to (as mentioned) DO WHAT I WANT.  I'll still share with the class!

In reality, though, I have to do it like once a year and, in his case, the parties are pretty minimal and always have something healthy in addition to the dreaded candy (that I usually toss after bedtime; wasteful perhaps...but not worth the fight of having it around). Honestly, I think the whole classroom party thing is more of a big deal when they are little-ish (speaking from NOT experience here) cause I can't imagine a bunch of pre-teen or teen parents picking out/crafting Valentine's or staying up late filling The Perfect Easter Egg.  (Yes? No? I imagine it being more like STOP TEXTING AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK GOD DAMMIT at that point.)

I definitely have been loving all the internet fuss about this post and agree with a lot of it, particularly the food related points. I especially agree with her ADDENDUM at the bottom. It's hard to say 'ENOUGH candy' to your child in a public setting when all the other kids are indulging. 

I will stop blathering now and say HAPPY EASTER whether your baskets are filled with Large, Medium OR Small eggs... glittered, plastic, real, stickered, money-filled, candy-filled or none at all! YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT. 


Kate said...

OMG. Wow. I just...

Okay, so where to begin?
1) I *guess* I will allow this awful use of literally just this once since you acknowledged its wrongness. (Although, now that I'm over-thinking it, you could argue it's correct - that through some taste memory function one could *actually* taste wood at the sight of a mini wooden spoon thingie.)
2) What a pain in the butt looking for this specific stuff! I feel for you.
3) I'll have to go check out the addendum.
4) Have ye no food allergies in Nate's class? Lucky dogs. Dealing with food allergies has definitely warped me -- I'd love a world with no food in classrooms, and the thought of a room full of kids eating Reese's eggs freaks me out. You probably think I'm weird now, but I told you it warps a person!

katandkarl said...

@Kate - They do have peanut and nut free classrooms at his school but his isn't one of them.

Also, (and I should have specified), they were only allowed to eat the party food and all the egg goodies and treats came home with them.

katandkarl said...

...Which is also how they do Valentine's and other goodie bags - increasing my chances of throwing it all away! :)

Aduke Schulist said...

Oh wow, that sucks they were so specific.. and that you had trouble finding it. It would have drove me crazy too!

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