live: today i ran two miles. and it felt good.
laugh: today nate ran across the room and slammed his face into my leg.
love: today karl steam cleaned the rug in our living room.
I know everyone is excited about fall (and i am too) but I am also a little nervous b/c i get all Seasonal Affective Disorderey around weather changing times. I am trying to really take things slower this fall and to really appreciate where we are right now. I am trying not to think about cooking and cleaning and playing with nate as chores per say (though there is nothing glam about cleaning the bathroom or changing diapers... I don't care who you are!) and instead trying to really live (yea, yea, and laugh and love - put it on a tshirt or coffee mug) in the moment.
i have discovered this to be quite challenging - more so than i might have realized. i think in the past i was very, very focused on the NEXT. for instance...the next job, the next project, the next pay check, the next vacation, the next house, the next car, hell, the next trip to the grocery store or next load of laundry. While I still think about these things, i am trying not to put all my energy into them. (and, more importantly, i am not going to stress about the ones i am not able to obtain immediately.) i am trying to be calmer (ask me about my calmess when i couldn't find my car keys last week and we were late to meet up with friends and i threw (and broke) the remote control to our fan.) (what? we never use that remote anyway. AND what kind of pansy fan comes with a remote i ask you!?) and less cluttered (i have thrown away and given away SO MUCH in the past month; i am quite proud.) (i went on one particular binge after watching the show Hoarders for the first time. it frightened me. i told Karl I thought i had a hoarding disorder. He laughed. I threw away a bunch of old purses and clothes that will never fit me again.)
BWHAHAH. there are so many things WRONG with these two articles of clothing that i can't believe i am sharing them with you. THE SHIRT: 1. it has the word HUSTLA on it (which stems from an inside joke b/w me and my mom wherein i stumbled in my parents house at 2 a.m. after rounds of (VERY SUCCESSFUL) darts proclaiming i was a hustler... then proceeded to vomit for a few hours.) 2. i don't believe i could fit my left BOOB in that shirt. i'm pretty sure it shrunk a little and i have unshrunk a little but JESUS. Then, THE SHORTS: i know you can't see it in the picture but the word BUD is SPARKLED. jealous? they are in the goodwill bag. i only hope some young girl stumbles across them, wears them inappropriately for years, pushes them to the back of her closet, and finds them again (post a baby of course!) at the ripe old age of 28 and laughs and laughs.
ANYWAY, the point is: lessening of the clutter has helped me feel less stressed. and i think it is helping in the whole livelaughloveliveinthemomentbullshit i am all hopped up about! my kitchen and fridge have been so clean and uncluttered the past few days that i have even COOKED! (not just like pasta in a pot; MEALS!) so, hopefully, the transition into fall and into this new mommyhood lifestyle will be a smooth one.
if not, well, there's always HUSTLING.