the love and the hate about leaving the office

there are many things i will love/hate about leaving the office:

1. meter man! we are dear friends with the meter man - a very powerful position on the mean streets of downtown LR. he comes in the office when he is on our beat and we announce his arrival. half the office goes running to plug their meters with nickels and dimes for another ticket-free hour or so. our front desk used to announce "METERMANZHERE" on the intercom thingy until someone (ahem, upper mgmt) decided this sounded unprofessional to say when there are visitors in the building (i quite believe the visitors appreciated this reminder, professional or not.) Anyway they wanted us to come up with A CODE. (shhhhh) so we hear "John H____ is in the building." One time, we had a temp up front and she said "JOHN HORNY IS IN THE BUILDING". i do believe the whole office errupted in snorts. i will miss that meter man.

2. THE BUMS. oh the bums. i love them. there was the one who passed out in the street, yelling I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL! and weaving in and out of traffic when the cops came to retrieve him. OR the crazy lady on the bench outside of Iriana's Pizza who yelled and pointed at us "You've got the ticket! You've got the ticket!" at top volume. OR the best BUM EVER: the man who had three things. 1. a bike. 2. a forty. 3. a weed eater. he tried to ride the bike down an alley whilst carrying both the weed eater and the forty. he tried and he tried and he tried. we laughed and we laughed and we laughed. he was UNsuccessful. finally he sat down and finished that forty.

3. the car wrecks. for some reason the intersection of 2nd&Scott sees a lot of traffic accidents. we can hear them. that SCREEEEEEEEEEEEECH CRASH (cring, run to window) sound. several cars have run INTO our building and one accident involved a cab and a trolley. that one was fun.

4. sharing space with the Block 2 Lofts who are under different management every other week, sometimes forget to pay their electric bills (putting out our power), and constantly set off one alarm or another so we have to evacuate the building. (usually around 12 when many of the scruffy night owls that live in B2 are just waking up. they are in their pjs. we are in our suits and dresses.)

5. my agate ruler pica pole. lined post it sticky pads. big fatty sharpies. (oh, office supplies. i do love you.)

6. high priority emails. (THERE IS PIZZA IN THE KITCHEN! BIG RED EXCLAMATION POINT! DID SOMEONE BORROW (read: steal) MY ICE PACK? HIGH PRIORITY!! WE NEED TO HAVE A MEETING ABOUT WHY WE ARE CANCELLING TOMORROWS MEETING! HIGH HIGH HIGHEST PRIORITY. PLEASE STOP PARKING ON THE TROLLEY TRACKS! HIGH PRIORITY (ok, this one might be legit as when the trolley can't get by b/c of a street-parked car it toot-toot-toots it's little tooter until someone comes out to move their vehicle. it's a sad little toot. and patheticly long and tooty when it's angry. but not loud. never loud. just high pitched. toot. toot. tooooooooot. okay, that 's enough tooting.) (toot.)

7. fiestas! my office tends to supply us with food and alcohol (and fake mooooustaches) on a regular basis. it's super nice. we have this committee (ahem, the tweak committee. wanna be a tweaker?) who plans these fun fests. we have regular fiestas for events such as the SuperBowl, the 2nd Friday of the month, Random Day of the Week. I may have one time seen my uber-conservative boss make a swirly margarita/daquari mix. tee hee. the tweak committee may have accidentally DOUBLED (plus some) the tequila volume last time we rented the machine. (oops. apparently we have been out of college too long to differentiate b/w a .75 and a 1.75.)

8. walking to the RiverMarket for lunch time fun. Boulevard, Stickyz (oh creamy dill!), the Saucer, SportsPage, Iriana's. It's not like these places will be forever lost to me but I won't be within walking distance for the first time in 5 or so years. And I won't get to stomp out of the office b/c so-and-so coworker has made me want to scream and i just have to get out of there with my team RIGHT NOW so we can all go bitch about so-and-so. sigh. i will miss that. i love a good bitch session.

9. being the first one in!! let me tell you people, i TRY to be late to my job somedays. but i WITHOUT FAIL beat my other two team members into the office. every. single. day. pre pregnancy. post pregnancy. whenever. all the time. unless i am sick (ha), i am always first there. this week, on tuesday, i thought "since it is my last week, i am going to be the last one there." i showered, dried my hair, watched way more GMA than normal, got breakfast at community bakery, dropped nate off at daycare, played there for a bit. strolled in the door. STILL THERE FIRST. dammit. (i tried.)

that is all (well, not all that i will miss, but all for this post, right now.). i have no outstanding conclusion paragraph.

the bangs ARE MULTIPLYING. (but only on the one side.)

the anxiety and reality of receiving my last full pay check today has exhausted me and i can blog no longer.

good night.


serious sunday selections

i wasn't having a lot of luck with the camera this sunday. nate was ON THE MOVE so i was clicking away but striking out. finally i just gave up. eh, well such is life. he likes to roll around in the grass. and eat sticks. yum.

last week of work begins tomorrow.

10 months TODAY. (and his first TOP tooth is officially IN. it looks hilarious. barely through the surface and adorably sideways.)


so, yep, i quit my job.

i don't really know what to say. i don't know how to explain how i need to do this right now. how it feels right in my bones.

i am officially joining the ranks of the stay at home mamas. initially, i also have the opportunity to help out my inlaws for awhile.

i went back to work after maternity leave. i tried and i tried hard. i have been back for eight months and it just hasn't gotten easier. if anything, it has intensified for me lately. (thank you, marketing director at local commercial real estate agency that made me want to drive my car into a wall today!) (nah, not really. it's not the work; my job was fine though i was having difficulty getting invested with clients and campaigns and meetings and the such like my prior work self). it's not guilt of NOT being with the baby (though there was quite a bit of that in the beginning), it's the desire to be with him that is driving me.

i close my eyes and see nate in a swimming pool, nate running (ok, that is a stretch... stumbling...) through a sprinkler, nate with red popsicle juice dripping down his face, nate slathered in sunscreen, nate reading books at the library. (sorry - summer is on the brain. it hit 90 degrees here today.) and you know what? i also see nate screaming and nate whining and nate with runny noses and shitty diapers. (literally. yuck-o.) and me sighing and sucking it up and maybe tying a clean shirt around my face to keep from gagging and wishing i was at work bitching about crappy ad images and slacker designers.

as one of the first of my close-knit group to have a baby, this feels like something CRAZY though there are mamas everywhere that do it and struggle with this same decision. some work by choice and/or by necessity and some stay home by choice and/or by necessity. everyone's situation and desires are so different, right?!!? (thankfully, my close-knits have started popping out babies so we can change and grow as mamas together.)

this whole work life balance thing is crazy. karl is busy all the time - with work, with new projects, with everything. our house is constantly filthy (not dirty. filthy.), our food is generally take out (hello twenty extra pounds!), we can't figure out who is going to take nate to the doctor or stay home with him when he is sick, our stress levels have been (on and off) outrageous. this needs to happen. so maybe right now i am choosing the life part so karl can focus on the work part. is that a balance? does that sound naive? ha. not sure, but we are going to find out.

i have to try it. i have to give it a go. for all our sanity. i feel quite lucky and thankful that we are able to do this right now. as i have told many people (ahem, mom!), it's not like i will never go back to work (and, yes, i realize what the unemployment rate currently is and how 'bad' the economy is currently.) but it's a risk we are going to take. (and, if you believe it, we do have a bit of a safety net.)

so, yep, here i am in a city i never thought i would be in (5 years later, thank you very much), married to a man i never thought i would marry (first date at the whataburger for breakfast toquitos at 3 am, what! what!), doing something i dreamed about (staying home with my babies) but never really thought would happen.

so there's that. (this is my new favorite expression by the way.) (you don't say it matter-of-factly; you say it dryly like i'm-just-throwing-it-out-there.) (go on, try it again.) so there's that.

i need to see.

it feels a little like jumping off a cliff. (deep breath, GO.) (or, well, what i imagine jumping off a cliff might feel like as i am not familiar with people that actually do that.)

(it's exciting. i am excited. we're excited.)

hope you stay with us. i promise not to cover you in snot-filled and crusty-faced kid news for all of eternity.

9 months, 4 weeks.


way back wednesday - late night

dear blog friends,

mush mush blah blah blah mush mush mush blah blah blah. mush mush mush mush blah blah blah blah mush. mush blah. blah mush. mushy mushy mushy mush blah.

this is my brain.

more coherent post to follow. i hope. everything is good good good.

image circa 2004 or 05 maybe?

tonight the man featured in today's post and i ventured to DISNEY ON ICE with the baby. i know, right?!?! laugh and die! we went with some friends and their darling little boy. we had an outstanding time. it's fun to see a ka-jillion little mesmerized eyes. and thousands of little tiny pointing fingers. and a bunch of parents being all bonkers over mickey and minnie on ice to make their babies happy. cause, really, that's what those moments are all about, right?


when it rains it pours

is that how the expression goes?

i was going to write this fun little/big post about things i was going to miss about my office (cause, you know, i am taking some time off. for a few years possibly. for many reasons. which i shall try and detail in a post soon as it is official.).

but karl's grandmother is visiting a hospital today (not by choice and not the same one his mom is in.) so.....i am going to keep this post short and sweet and tell you that karl is an amazing person and has been taking care of so, so much.

everyone is good; mimi is going home tonight and mary kay (karls mom) is headed home tomorrow. will keep you posted.


shirtless and sloppy headed

still don't have a whole lot to say, but here are some sunday sweets of little naterade. he's been such a sweet little thing all weekend. sleeping well, playing well, eating well. he follewed me into the kitchen this morning (for the record, it's still more of an army crawl than anything else but he is getting around just fine!) and i picked him up and his whole shirt was COVERED in dog hair. it was disgusting. the dogs have been inside for two days b/c it has been raining for two days and thier hair 'blends' in the kitchen floor. good thing we have nate to point out how NASTY it is. there is no carpet (other than rugs) in our house and the dogs are in PRIME shedding season, so it's a challenge, but it's clean now. temporarily.

roxy and arlo also like to hang out around his high chair - patiently - until he drops some finger food in their direction. best. cleanup. idea. ever.

surgery went well this morning and the road to recovery has been ventured down. change is hanging out in the air.

9 months, 3 weeks, 3 days.



i got nothing!

well, nothing good.

karl's mama took a tumble down some stairs at the basketball stadium. hip is broken. surgery is at 7 a.m. tomorrow morning.

please say a pray or send good thoughts or vibes or do whatever it is that you do for her and for our family.


way back wednesday

brooke and i way back when. in our HOT gap overalls. i posted this pic once here (back in 2006 - man we have been blogging awhile!) so i hope it still counts for wbw. i will scan some new oldies but goodies SOON i swear.

why did i think it was fun to climb on people. who does that?Justify Full


traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling on


i held a beautiful baby girl. i smelled her head. (DANGER WILL ROBINSON.)

my child fell asleep on brooke and the picture is heartbreakingly adorable and must be framed immediately.

i saw these truck antlers on the highway. i kind of want them. on my saturn. hilarious.

i suffered from easter overload just like this drunken, humpy bunny. only less drunken. and less humpy. well, maybe not like him at all as that would be weird, but you get the picture.

i ripped my pants. not this rip. i earned this rip the good old fasioned way - wearing them all the time! i am in love with this rip. but my new rip? the reason i am sad? yep, i crotch-ripped them. because i am fat like that. ;)

we had a lovely four day weekend in st. louis with our friends and family.

back to the (bumpn) GRIND tomorrow. i don't see nothin' wrong.


dear hair,

so, here is an update on my hair. (see start here.)

NOW it WORSE than just pseudo-bangs (and i thought it couldn't get worse)... NOW it has started to part ala butt cut.



i upped the saturation levels.

nate got a new hat. it accentuates his old man eyebrows. i believe he looks quite dapper.


he loves eating grass, pooping his pants, pureed carrots, drunk walk wobbling and long stroller rides. he hates napping when there is a party going on and peas. (the ONLY food he has ever rejected.)

interested? please apply in the comment section.


and don't forget to give me back my black tshirt

Nothing too blog worthy as of late.

  • Tuesday I had two big ole glasses of wine before I hit up the dreaded Babies R Us for some baby shower pressies. I still left pissed off and not with what i wanted. (talk about a buzz kill.) (yep, i just said BUZZ KILL.) strike 4,000 devil store. you are out! (have i told you the story about trying to find a specific bottle at BRU (the adiri stage 2 natural nurser please and thank you) when nate was some odd age and going through a growth spurt where he wanted to nurse ALL THE TIME and i had to find him this specific bottle so i could leave the house once or twice and BRU had the brand but not the specific bottle - like 30 stage 1 bottles, 30 stage 3 bottles BUT not a SINGLE stage 2. and the poor guy that worked there checked in the back and told me they didn't have any and i burst into tears. right then and there. in front of him. (poor guy.) (special thanks, jenny, for overnighting me one from the Tulsa BRU.) (OR OR the time that i called and asked them if they had replacement pump parts and they said OH YES OF COURSE WE DO DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT ORDERING THEM ONLINE. so i went and did they have the replacement part i needed? N-O they did not.) (OR OR the time i wanted to buy a BLUE bumbo but they only had like 40 pink bumbos. because they "onlystockonecoloratatimeit's reallyweird" (flip ponytail, chew gum) according to a ca-razy lady employee. also, apparently only pink or blue b/c god forbid we have anything colored neutrally.) (OR OR OR the time when an employee assumed i was pregnant when i was, in fact, NOT and shopping off a registry. "you two.. or should i say three...can follow me" (giggle). (our friend melissa was with us so she actually said "you three.. or should i say four can follow me". whatever - details. point is: OF ALL PLACES BABIES R US should not assume pregnancy unless a woman is having contractions in their aisles. even then it might be risky.)
  • WOW. Sorry bout that. Sadly, I have had several other encounters with the dreaded baby superstore that are unworthy of your time but have left the sourest of sour grapes taste in my mouth. (LIKE THE TIME when they had shelves and shelves of formula but not a single can of nates except one beat down broken up can that probably shouldn't have been put out. ENFAMIL. the most common formula brand ever. and not even on sale.) (oops. there i go again.)
  • in other news, a window got shot out at work. yep, SHOT out. no worries, though, it was just a bee bee gun. probably a Red Rider. and it only shattered the floor to ceiling window. no big deal.
  • My friend Brooke who is 40 plus weeks pregnant and expecting her first baby (boy or girl?!!?) any day now posted this on April Fools Day and I totallly fell for it. Don't joke with the lady who had a crazy birth - she will believe you! I was all "she had surprise twins? AWESOME" and everyone else was all "yea right." i mean, how cool would surprise twins be!?!? like oops, there is one more in there!
  • There is this dude i work with who wants to start a website about LR nightlife establishments. his name is phil. he wants to give it "two phils up" or "two phils down." (ex: green beer at big whiskeys? TWO PHILS UP! jello wrestling at gusanos? TWO PHILS UP! bar full of men? TWO PHILS DOWN! last cigarette? TWO PHILS DOWN!)
  • We had our weekly ANTM (america's next top model) night last night. what. a. great. episode. that show continues to get WORSE AND WORSE and somehow i love it MORE AND MORE.
that is all. good day, sir. i said good day.