4.27.2007

COMH: WAR on DIRT


So the older I get the more I realize life is about the war on dirt. And, in my case, the war on dog hair. Dirt/germs/grime/bugs in our homes, in our offices, on our bodies. Sigh. humans versus nature and all that crap. Mop, Mop, Mop All Day Long, Mop, Mop, Mop While I Sing This Song.

That being said, this week, in my best Vana White impression, my COMH is dedicated to our cordless, hardwood cleaning, swivel-ey, Electrolux (and I say our but Karl probably uses it way more than I do. And I say probably but I mean he uses it everyday and I use it like once a month). We have zero carpet in our home which I adore BUT dust and dog hair accumulate (ok FINE - people hair too. I can’t help it that I have thick, sheddy hair). I mean, seriously, how do you people keep your houses clean? Seriously. I cried last week b/c I spent so much time cleaning one little, teeny area of our house and I was all satisfied and then I found IT – a stray Roxy hair in my clean space. Sigh. I need cleaning fairies.

Eh. Life is too short to worry about cleaning all that much and, besides, the weekend excites me! Jenny and Jeff are on their way w/ a keg. Of BEER. HAHA. So we just might have a “keg party”. And, if you’re lucky, I might put a big X on your hand (and/or various other objects drawn, of course, in permanent sharpie), give you a free cup, and force you to do a keg stand. Then you can puke in my back yard and I will give you a garden hose to clean yourself up. Not really. Unless you wanna.


6 comments:

kristen said...

sometimes i feel like a little vacuum is on my shoulder screaming at me..."You're so lazy! Get up and Dust! Look at all that dirt, Get to work!!!!!!" I close my eyes and put my fingers in my ears and it goes away. So, my house stays dirty. I guess if I would listen to the vacuum for thirty minutes a day I wouldn't have to block it out so much, but that's no fun.

Elizabeth Ross said...

You're having a kegger.
Hee hee.

Lauren said...

Cleaning is so hard. I live alone in a small one bedroom apartment and I feel like I am always cleaning. How do people do it in bigger houses with multiple people living there? I can't imagine having to clean 2 or 3 bathrooms!

brooke said...

i hear ya sista. it's 8:47 on a saturday and i'm trying to decide if i want to shower of vacuum the WHOLE dang house first. kind of makes you miss dorm rooms. or the cleaning ladies you grew up with...or was that just us?

sorry we missed the non-kegger kegger. i kind of fell asleep at 9:30 last night. which is why i'm thinking about vacuuming so early...

and since when was vacuum spelled with two u's and only one c? yes, i write for a living.

clif, somer, and vivian said...

any of various deciduous or evergreen shrubs of the genus Ligustrum, esp. L. vulgare, having clusters of small white flowers and commonly grown as a hedge. the above is the definition of privEt. i with i could say that i was a real smarty and knew, but the truth is i am a real dummy and know a really good search engine for dictionary\encyclopedia stuff. ;) it was KILLING me that no one knew! i know, i am a sad sad sad little person. (although maybe since i am six months pregers i should say big person.) anyhow, now you know...hope it helps!

Susan said...

I cry if I spend all day cleaning then Ches jumps up on my clean sheeted and comfortered bed with grimy paws and looks at me so satisfied like, "Ahhhh, thanks Mom!" I want to scream, "Don't you appreciate me, dog?!" You don't have to do anything; you just dirty everything up!" Seth is just glad I'm directing my anger elsewhere.