6.26.2008

this was NOT the birth plan


sorry for being such a blog tease. things are a little hectic with emails and phone calls (but not really too bad b/c we haven't even left the house! we are just enjoying our quiet time getting to know nate! it is SO CALM.)

first of all karl and i would like to state that delivering our child unattended at home was NOT in 'the birth plan'. we were intending on going to the hospital. (we looked at the birth plan after delivery this morning and laughed - i guess we got every single thing we wanted - no drugs, no ivs, immediate contact, and oh so much more...)

on the drug note, i would like to say the only drugs i have taken since this whole whirlwind started - two aleve after delivery for the stitch up! i didn't even have time to THINK about drugs. seriously it happened so fast i couldn't even tell you what i thought about. there was no focusing or breathing through ANYTHING. there was no music played. no sitting on the birth ball. no getting in the bathtub. (well the shower i did make use of several times.)

so details are as follows: (this may be long and i hope i don't gross anyone out with details.)

players: karl, kat, nate, kim (our doula who is also a certified midwife thank the lord) and stephanie (awesome assistant doula).

karl and i go on a walk around 9 p.m. - having the usual braxton hicks mini-contractions i have been having for weeks. annoying, not so painful. we come home... i guess around 11:30 or so I have a contraction and i think "now THAT was a real one! this baby might come tonight!" but i still didn't want to get my hopes up in case it was fake! ALL of our classes and pretty much the whole world says first time moms have on average 12-16 hour labors and are usually overdue. we wanted to labor at home as long as possible to avoid the monitoring at the hospital - plus i had some irrational fear the hospital would say i wasn't really in labor and send me home.

so we hang out for about thirty minutes and i have some contractions. i am hoping my timeline is right here. time got a little crazy. around midnight we decide this is probably the real deal and decide to give kim a call:

kim: on a scale of one to ten, what is your pain level (10 being highest).
me: 2. (dead serious. i said two! and had a baby in my arms two hours later!)

kim says sounds like early labor; i should try and take some benedryl and get some rest to gear up for tomorrow and to call her if anything changes. i try to lay down but this proves to be IMPOSSIBLE. i decide not to take the benydryl. contractions are coming about three minutes apart but are only lasting like thirty seconds so i really didn't think they were 'doing their job.' (generally THE PEOPLE say good contractions last around 60 seconds - i swear i never had one that lasted that long but they were one on top of the other so i guess it's all relative.) i showered (THE BLUE BATHROOM IN OUR MASTER BEDROOM WAS WHERE THE WHOLE THING WENT DOWN!) on and off for the next hour or so. the only comfortable things were standing in the shower and sitting (excuse me) on the toilet. i just went back and forth.

then things got a little crazy and hazy. i can't sit still. karl decides to call kim to have her come (no time concept here) who gets up to get on her way (she is about 30 minutes from us), saying we should meet at the hospital b/c it sounds like i am progressing fast. i should mention at this point that i am pushing b/c i can't possibly do anything else. i have to push. have to.

i should also say at this point karl and i have a short conversation that goes like this: (i am in the blue bathroom; he is on the bed timing contractions (on contractionmaster.com HAHA!) i do not want him to touch me or be near me really.

karl: (accusatory and in shock/disbelief): are you pushing?!?!
me: NO. (total and complete denial. at this point, i really still think they are strong contractions. looking back the pressure was kind of insane down there so i am not sure HOW i could have thought that. i just didn't think it was possible to progress that fast.)
karl: YOU ARE PUSHING. i am calling kim again to tell her. (tattle tale!)

karl puts bags in car. karl goes to let dogs in backyard. he never makes it. (arlo and roxy watched the whole labor and delivery quietly from their front row seats in their beds; they didn't bother us once but they sure were paying attention the whole time!) i let out some sort of blood curtling scream while he is in the kitchen. i don't know WHAT it sounded like but it sent him back at 90 miles per hour. turns out, my 'bag of water' was ON THE OUTSIDE. no, not broken. no gush, no 'water breaking' like in the movies. it was perfectly in tact and HANGING b/w my legs. just dangling, really. (sorry if this grosses you out!) it was the most bizarre feeling in the whole world. it was long and stretchy. totally freakshow.

kim says (she and karl are still on the phone so, really, the I-phone played a key role in the delivery so THANK GOD karl has one. i am confident no other phone could have done the job as well.) we need to either get to the hospital RIGHT NOW or stay put. (all this time we were like 'oh the hospital is only 5 minutes away, no way we wouldn't make it there! we could walk there!') karl asks me what i want to do and i must have looked at him helplessly b/c he said "ok. i am making the call. we are going to the hospital." i asked him to get me some underwear to which he laughed at me b/c the BAG WAS JUST HANGING there. ew. sorry. i put on some basketball shorts and i could here karl rifling thru the closet to find me some matching shoes. (thank god we did not go to L&D - can you imagine what they would have thought?!?! and for those of you that know me well, he could only match my purple flowered slipper hut flip flops. THAT made me smile during labor.). this was the only part of the whole labor and delivery that felt panick-ey. once we decided to stay home, we just did it. i don't know how else to explain that.

he grabs the flip flops and i let out some other crazy noise and i really can't not push. i can NOT explain the URGE. (by the way i am standing in the blue bathroom - supported by one arm on the sink and one arm on the window for leverage - that is how i delivered.) he reaches down and says something to kim about crowning/feeling what he thinks is the head. we immediately decide the car is not going to work and i will, in fact, deliver on the side of the highway at 2am if we get in it. i hear kim through the phone saying something about how awesome we are doing and how she is going 90 miles per hour down the highway.

then i just let my body push out the baby. i mean, i can't stop it. i hear them talking about which way he is facing or something.... i don't know. i hear karl say 'he has hair'... then 'his head is out' and then he just slipped out all fast and slippery like and karl catches him. (and then hear karl say 'he has a penis!') three pushes maybe got him out? it was crazy. i remember thinking HE IS HUGE - how did that come out of me? he cries once or twice and it doesn't sound fluid-ey at all. then he just stares at us. eyes wide open.

(and i would like to state for the record that i didn't even say one cuss word the whole time!! now afterwards...)

kim is still on phone and almost there. thank god. baby is still attached to his cord. she has karl sit me down on the floor of the bathroom. it's starting to look A LITTLE like a CSI crime scene in our bathroom. (sorry but there was blood everywhere! it splattered all over the wall! you probably didn't need to know that.) anyway, my lovely PLACENTA slides out once i am sitting down. (and, yes, it was HUGE and purple. and it is in my freezer right now b/c, well, we weren't at the hospital where they just dispose of it and, we can't throw it out b/c it is summertime in the south. you probably didn't need to know that either. but i figure if you have made it this far in the read, you want to know!)

things are a bit surreal here. karl and i are just staring at each other and the baby like 'what the _______ just happened here?' it was like 2, 2:30.

kim walks in, clamps the cord (she asks karl if he wants to cut it and he tells her at this point cord cutting is a bit anti-climatic since he just caught the baby! haha!), she cuts the cord, and gets me up and in the shower (which was totally awesome b/c 1. it was RIGHT THERE one foot away and 2. it was MY shower. so much for all those travel shampoos i bought for the hospital!) kim's assistant stephanie is right behind her with some other miscellaneous supplies - i won't go into too many details about these but they include diapers. and not for the baby.)

she does check me and i do have some tearing (2nd degree for all you moms out there... i still don't really know what that means, but whatever.) so we need stiches. i mean, really, the baby came so fast how could i not tear?!? and no, i did not feel anything tear. she tells me at this point we need to decide if we want to call my doctor and go to the hospital to get stiched and checked out (both me and baby) or if we want to contiue the midwifery/homebirth model, we can stay home and she can take care of both of us. honestly, the hospital sounded HORRIBLE and they definately would have looked at us like freak shows so the decision was pretty simple. we stayed.

she stiched me up. (she did give me a local shot of lanocane? to numb me. but i would like to say i could still feel the threading. very odd. not painful, just odd.) OH AND i would like to say that i played my labor mix during the whole after birth time. and it was relaxing dammit!

then we got on to the fun part - THE BABY CHECKING. he weighed in at 7 lbs. 4 ounces and was 21 inches long! (it also should be noted he has freak show long toes like his father!) everything else checked out fine... his temperature was a little low... but kim came back later and it was fine. we are also going to the pedi in the morning. (so i am sure we will get to hear all about what horrible parents we are for having a (albeit somewhat accidental) home birth.

so, really, that's it. i can't even explain how it happened. i feel amazing and have been up walking around all day! crazy. i just felt NORMAL afterward. (i did look a bit ghost-like with all the blood loss.)

and whoever LIED to me and said my ankle swelling would go away immediatly after birth is going down....it is still there. also, my stomach looks ca-razy and i want my innie back now. please and thank you. also, i am still having contractions as my stomach/uterus shrinks back. (yea, nobody tells you that those hurt a lot too. i thought they would just be annoying but they really hurt!)

what other questions were there? CONGRATS to CARRIE for winning the cash $$ from the baby pool. karl says we can NEVER move now that we have birthed a baby IN THE HOUSE. i will have him put up a post tomorrow with details from his point of view. roxy and arlo have sniffed the baby and licked on him a bit. pretty sure arlo could care less, but roxy seems a bit spooked. she did love sniffing all that blood all crime scene canine like. (she could smell it after we cleaned; we didn't just let her sniff it). i don't think he really looks like anyone yet - he is still swolled up though from his short journey through the birth canal. it was so fast his head was barely misshappen.

and, yes, karl would forevermore like to referred to as a 'doc-tour' of midwifery.

so, yea, we had our baby. in a bathroom.

further questions?

1 day old (almost exactly 24 hours!)


46 comments:

Matt said...

You 3 are amazing. I would have expected nothing less from Team Hills.

Maria said...

First off-- nate (unofficial) is freakin' adorable. You are making me want one. Scratch that.

Second-- how is nursing going? Did he latch? I assume the midwife helped you.

When your water breaks, it feels like you wet your pants. Actually, that is what I said to Kevin-- I've wet my pants. You didn't miss anything. LOL!

My answer to if the ped gives you a hard time-- find another one. :)

You and the Doc-tour are freakin' amazing! Great job...and what a story to tell.

P.S. Drink a TON of water. My ankles took almost a week or maybe 10 days to go back down. Oh, and drink a ton of water.

Angela said...

omfg Kat!! You & Karl are freaking amazing. Huge congrats to you both and welcome to the world little baby!!

care said...

wow wow wow! I can't see why you would have decided things any differently than you did. I did giggle when you said you were afraid they'd send you home!

I wanna know about nursing too.
and if you have officially picked a name.
and how karl is doing.

and he is BEAUTIFUL, just beautiful. wow! thank you for sharing your story in all its gruesome wonder. :)

Leslie Robus said...

ok so I am cutting an pasting and emailing the story to myself so that I can read it at work....I don't have blog access there. Gosh, why didn't I get up so I would have time for the story this a.m.! Love you guys! And Kat....you are awesome (and Karl too)!!!

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

this is the best story i have EVER read! i am so proud of you all that there are no words to convey. NONE. i am beaming with a HUGE smile!

welcome to the wonderful, wacky world of parenthood where nothing goes exactly how you plan it. NOTHING.

enjoy the ride and carry lots of wet wipes!

many blessings!

xoxoxoxoxooxox :)

Paul Knight said...

congratulations on such an awesome achievement. i am so proud of all of you!!!( i might, possibly, be choking up a little bit. just a little.)

Paul Knight said...

oh crap i am signed in as paul! no, it's me, emotional brooke! paul thinks it is cool that your baby looks like it has red hair. i told him that could all change, much like the eyes, but that you are irish, after all!

Meredith and Michael H. said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! he is beautiful and i am so impressed with you both (really, i read the whole thing with my mouth gaping open). thank you for sharing with all of us (i know we don't know each other really well but I've loved keeping up with it all). :)

Leah Billings said...

What a beautiful little baby!

That is one of the coolest stories I've ever heard. You guys deserve an award. (I guess that little cutey with red hair is a good one.)I cried, I laughed...It was fantastic. So proud of you both, Truly.

Yes. Please share nursing info. if you're willing. Curious about that too. Can't wait to hear Karl's veiwpoint also.

I'm so glad that things are peaceful and that you are all at home bonding as a new family. I can only imagine how undescribaly amazing it is. Hooray Team Hills!!

kristen said...

i agree the baby does look like he has red hair. he is so cute. you guys are awesome. oh and jr said that he will now and forever more call your child "tubs" i think it is a cute nickname. haha

kristen said...

oh yeah and i totally dreamed i was pregnant last night...damn you kat

Jennifer said...

he is perfect!! He really is just adorable. What an inspiration the two of you are. We love you guys and the story!!! AWESOME!

Megan said...

He's so pretty. You two are amazing. I just can't believe how smooth the birth went.

melissa said...

kat, there's not much more to say. you're superwoman, dear. and karl is the hero of the day. i'm really, really impressed with you guys, but i should've expected no less. lots of love! xox

Anonymous said...

wow that is totally insane but cool good thing there were no complications and needed a cesarean. if jake had to do that he would have passed out good job Karl :D

Sarah said...

I love you Kat and Karl!!!! SOoooo Fabulous.

I think i want one now.

LOVE YOU and Congrats.

HE IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rebecca said...

Hey - stranger here. I found you through Maria, who knows I'm a birth fanatic. Question I have to ask out of curiosity: when did your water finally break? Was Nate born with the membranes still in tact, or did they break while you were pushing? Yes yes, I do enjoy the details. In hospitals, they usually break the bag before pushing so that it doesn't pop all over the doctor, so we rarely get to see babies born in their bag. I hear it's actually quite nice for the mother and baby. (Not easy or pain free, as you know, but gentler.)

I love the story, by the way. I know you probably aren't thinking of another baby right now, but I'm curious what you'll end up planning for the next round, if there is one. With such a fast first experience, planning the second time around becomes totally different. My first baby arrived in about 2 hours, too. We did make it to the hospital. Planning for our second baby was centered around all the crazy places and ways we could end up giving birth. In the end, my second birth was LONGER than the first, which was quite nice.

Beautiful story, and beautiful son. Congratulations.

Elizabeth Spann said...

He truly is one of the prettiest babies EVER. It's ok to call him pretty when he's a baby, right? Nate- if you read this one day, you were pretty. There. I said it. ;)
You guys are truly amazing, and that is the best story ever. It's a little bit fitting, and just perfect for you guys. I love, love, love you all (you too, Nate)!

Anonymous said...

It's funny that it looks like he has red hair. It's actually kind of a mix of some brown and blonde. But the sheet definitely makes it look like red =)

Susan said...

Only Team Hills! He's gorgous. Can't wait to see him in person! What a story to pass down! I was already planning on calling Karl "Dr. Hills" next time I saw him.

Jax said...

Wow, chica... just wow. I think I got tears in my eyes during that. I am so proud of all three of you! What an amazing day...what a truly amazing day...

He's adorable! You both are already such good parents...my gosh...

Thank you for sharing the whole story b/c you know we were all dying here! What an outstanding story!

Welcome Nate!!!!!!

Chandle said...

I am so uber proud of you! You are fantastic. You also made me cry a little. Great job!!!!!!!

Chandle said...

BTW, he is one of the most precious, handsome little babies I have ever seen.

Melissa Brannan said...

He is perfect! What an amazing story. Only you!! :) I'm so happy for you though! It is exactly (or close to exact) what you wanted...... fast and drug free. I want to call you soon and talk baby stuff, but I'll give you guys a few days to settle in and adjust!! Or if you find Nate to be a perfect angel and you are well rested and bored (ha!) give me a call! 314-277-0757
Love Melissa Brannan

Lauryl Lane said...

LOL, when I first read yesterday that you had the baby at home, I was like, "so much for the birth plan!" the story is amazing. after watching 6 horrific births that made me horrified of the labour process, you have given me hope. maybe i actually can/will push a baby through my vagina someday. i still can't believe you pushed a baby out while standing up in your bathroom. that's ridiculous. and i've never heard of delivering the water sak without it bursting first... how weird is that? you are a freak of nature, kat, but when all is said and done, it sounds like a really awesome experience. hospitals are icky, if i'd gotten that far with a healthy baby and all, i wouldn't have gone there either. your own shower and your own bathroom and your own bed sound ever so much better. nate is adorable. he's really not that swoll up for a newborn, guess the speed of his delivery helped with that. ;) so much congrats to you and karl. you guys are freaking awesome!!!

Unknown said...

Ok, so..........I am @ total loss of words (very unusual)!!!
But I must say that your birth story is the most amazing thing!!
I am so amazed @ how calm Karl remained through the entire process!
And for you, Kat,you are one amazing women!
CONGRATS to both of you & that baby Nate is a precious bundle of joy that I know ya'll are enjoying!
WOW...........I'm still sitting here just amazed!

Maria said...

OK. I'm still laughing at: "he has a penis!" Sorry. I just can't stop!

Waynette Traub said...

I know I told you about your ankles – so can you see the ankle bone yet? I bet you can by now. I love your birthing story.

RookieMom Whitney said...

Awesome story! Thanks for linking to rookiemoms.com!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Great story! I am linking so other wanna be natural birthers can see how great it is. Also, thanks for the link on your other post. I got lots of hits off of it today.

Anonymous said...

Gosh, just had to write a word here. I had this with my second baby (first was a medicated hospital birth but also fast with no complications). Our second, a son, came 1.5 hrs after the first contraction. The doc also told me to go back to slp as the contractions sounded v early on. I only had 3 of those, then about 3 very painful ones, then 15 or so minutes of hell, and pushed standing in the bathroom, against the sink and on the toilet in total denial like yourself. When I felt the head poking through I called Mum in as my husband is too weak for such sights, and she diagnosed a head just as the waters broke. I made a run for it to the bedroom next door and pushed twice on the bed as I was taught in childbirth classes during my first pregnancy. My husband was on the phone to doc - "come over immediately, the baby's head is out". My husband and mum ended up catching him and I saw his penis when my husband lifted him up. Ditto to your - "we got what we wanted" - no epidural, no episiotomy, no one telling me "you have a son". We did go to hospital though and stayed for 2 days "just in case" but it was horrible, and some of the nurses acted like I was a freak with the birth. Our son is now 19.5 months old and a feisty handful. Good luck, congrats and watch out for the next one if planned! Anna

Anonymous said...

Another stranger here... sent here from Maria. I am a midwife who had a birth last night so close to yours it was eerie reading yours! I wrote and posted mine before reading yours, but if you get a chance, you might pop your head by. :)

http://navelgazingmidwife.squarespace.com/navelgazing-midwife-blog/2009/1/25/precipitous-hbac.html

Many congrats (and the midwife used lidocaine to numb your bottom before suturing)... your baby is adorable!

Barbara E. Herrera, LM, CPM

AtYourCervix said...

Amazing birth! Just amazing! Awesome job mom and dad :-)

(I came from a link at NavelgazingMidwife.)

Anonymous said...

found your site on del.icio.us today and really liked it.. i bookmarked it and will be back to check it out some more later

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