identify your toilet ::robot voice please::

uh, this is nate's new face when he isn't thrilled with something.

um, can you say SCARED? (me)

he has been a pretty chill little man for his first 11 months, can we please keep it that way? none of this evil eye scrunch up the face nonsense. cause you know he does that shit when he is MAD. the funniest part is the face comes with noise - like the sucking air between your clenched teeth (um, gums, i guess in his case)... maybe a seeth-ey kind of noise. it's hard to describe. but it scares me. i don't want my baby to be a whiny toddler. how do i combat this? does it have to happen? can we please reverse to the baby on the boobie days? (dear god, he barely sits still enough to take a bottle/sippy these days!) (it's truly frightening how independent he thinks he is these days.)

maybe he is just making a new noise and face and i am being all full of the dramatic. er.

and, have we talked about this? what is it with KIDS and BATHROOMS? i mean the second i leave the bathroom door open, he is OFF on a MISSION to get in there. how does he know? last week, he escaped me and i caught him picking up the little toilet bolt cappey thingeys on the base of the toilet. um, my house was built in the 50s; i don't take those things off to clean...i pretend they are not there...karl says they have wax on the inside but whatever...i don't care what it is - it's old and nast. i am not lying when i tell you that i saw it headed toward his mouth, screamed, slapped it out of his hand, and proceeded to vomit into the toilet. yes. real vomit. from me. if that's not dramatic, i don't know what is.

(now trolling the internet for shiney, new clean! toilet cap bolt thingeys. they come in many colors. who knew? i am thinking of getting them in seafoam. or maybe bermuda coral. i like to mix n match. and the webpages say things like "identify your toilet!" which is never a link i thought i would click on and seriously consider the answer, but here we are!)

disclaimer: i promise i am a relatively laid back mom - he can chew sticks and play in dirt and not bathe for four three days but i draw the line at ANYTHING related to the bathroom.

(hmmm. odd, since that is where he was born.)

(holy shit. i am seeing the connection.)


Jax said...

This post is AWESOME! hahahaha! Nater is adorable...even with his funny face. And while, I'm sorry you puked, picturing that whole situation made me laugh b/c I would have done the same thing. I have no advice on the whiney toddler, but at least he's a cutie pie even if he gets a little whiney! All is forgiven when you're that adorable!

sdhorton said...

That picture is too funny. Nash has thrown a full tantrum ALREADY. He throws his hand and head to the floor and just lays there waiting for me to get him or throws his back out and kicks his legs when I am holding him. I just let him and not give into him. Nash likes the bathroom too but more unrolling the toliet paper than getting into the actual toliet.

Ashley said...

This post was hilarious!! I love that face he has started making! Even if he is mad, he's still cute as can be! And I would have puked too, or at least dry heaved. Anything toilet-related makes me want to hurl.

I can't believe I just typed dry heaved

melissa said...

i love that you caught "the face" on camera. he's such a little turkey. :)

and the toilet story reminds me of that part in 'baby mama' that always makes me think of you: "i'm not trying to be dramatic, but i would rather kill myself than eat any of this."


melissa said...

1. i may have misquoted that line. but you get the gist.

Maria said...

I just sent you an email for a product that uses UV to kill bacteria, not because I love the product and recommend it, but because it linked to this-- http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Consumer/story?id=5177409&page=1 -- article where it was found that there are more strains of bacteria on your floor than your toilet seat! WHAT?

Of course, if you want a $600 vacuum, that is your choice.

If you want to talk toddler, let me know. I would say The boy throws fewer tantrums than most, but a lot of that has to do with communication-- his speaking and signing and my listening and taking time to hear him. Anyway, more discussion off-blog if you want.

Meredith said...

With the connections in mind, you might consider having your next baby in Hawaii? Cheese store? Might as well get drawn back to somewhere fantastic.

Lauryl Lane said...

You crack me up! I am sorry about the vomiting... I'm afraid I might have done that, too. Babies always do make a beeline for the grossness in the bathroom. I disinfect my bathroom like mad, but I will still make every effort to keep my children out of the bathroom completely. Except, of course there's always the whole potty training thing. Erg. I have no advice. But Nate's expression is priceless!

Rina said...

Baby Bear will head straight for the cat food dish - he's gotten right into it, both the food and water!

About noises...mine used to make this...demon-child noise. It was sort of disturbing.

Loved this post!

Susan said...

That face is AWESOME. It needs to be incorporated into his first birthday party invitation somehow I think. Wait til he can walk and your in a public bathroom trying to pee and yelling, "No, don't touch that. Gross! Yucky, put that down!" All while hovering yourself over the toilet! Loads of fun!

Kacie Gregory said...

Hi Kat! Thank you for commenting on my blog..I have heard Les and John speak of you guys on many occasions! Congrats on your new venture as a stay at home mom...it is the BEST job ,but yet the most challenging one that I have EVER had..lol! The best advice I can give is "playdates" and LOTS of walks and playground visits..I have found winter to be the hardest..Good Luck! :-) Your lil' one is adorable..

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