the most embarrassing contribution photo there ever was

I need to tell you about a photo that I'm submitting (to my own) video.   It's affectionately dubbed the MOST EMBARRASSING PHOTO OF ALL TIME.   But there is an oh-so-ridiculous story behind it.  Wanna here it?  (No? Click away then.)  


This is a photo taken almost immediately after Nate's birth.  I BEGGED Karl to take it.  BEGGED.  Why?  Because AT THAT TIME I felt like I looked absolutely INCREDIBLE.  Like DAMN I AM HOT incredible.   Like NO ONE IS AS GORGEOUS AS ME AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME incredible.  Like DON'T EVEN LOOK AT THAT NEWBORN IN THE BED OVER THERE BECAUSE DON'T I LOOK GOOD incredible.

If you've ever had a child evacuate your insides, well, you feel real empty on the inside.  It's completely bizarre sensation to have this big THING squashed up in there and then, suddenly, not.  For me, after Nate's birth I think that empty feeling equated with LOOK HOW SKINNY I AM NOW!  Hahahha.  I mean this was literally like an hour after birth.   I was so freaking high and amped on adrenaline and awesomeness (and w/ Nate's birth I was upright!  Walking around!  Feeling SUPER WOMAN GOOD!)  (Don't worry... about four hours later I felt like a truck had, in fact, steamrolled my entire body and could barely move.)  I really, truly thought I looked amazing.  (Hence the photo-begging.)  Plus, I had this blue swim suit cover up / night gown like thing that was all soft and stretchy and amazing and PART OF THE PLAN and I was going to labor in it and I didn't get to so I NEEDED Karl to take a photo of me in it.  CLEARLY.  

Want to see the photo?  

(You know I would not share this photo with just anyone, right?)  

(Wow.  It's going to be real hard to hit publish on this post.  This photo is atrocious.) 

Here are the questions I would like us to discuss: 

1. HOLY PALE.  Am I actually a ghost?  How much blood did I lose during birth?  Answer: A LOT. 

2. Why am I holding my hands that way?  Are my boobs leaking?  Do I have a bra on and, if not, is this my was of disguising that?  (YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE HILLS.) 

3.  Are we sure the baby is out?  Because I think I might still look a little pregs.  Or just perhaps pokeably soft(er than normal) around the midsection. 

4.  Do I actually have a black eye?  Two?  I look EXHAUSTED.  (But in my mind I remember feeling so good and awake and alive!) (Never mind that it was 3 in the morning and I had worked that whole day!)  

5.  WHY ARE THEY LETTING ME STAND UP?   (I'm sure I was told to just sit down already.... I do have many memories of people telling me to SIT STILL.) 

Sadly, this is one of the only post-birth photos I have.  I'm not advocating full on hair and makeup this time around but someone PLEASE handle the camera with more care and try to get a shot of me looking less, uh, dead.    

IN CONCLUSION, I am submitting this GEM to the video and want you to feel like you can submit whatever you so desire so send me your photos for the video!  I'm so pumped about it.  I haven't looked at a single thing anyone has sent but I couldn't resist peeking to see if ANYONE had sent ANYTHING and, shockingly, some of you have (and I love and appreciate you for it; I'm so excited to watch it!).  


Kate said...

omg that's hilarious.

Ashley said...

i love everything about this post. But mostly how you are cupping your own boobs in the pic. I have a pic of Cooper exiting my vag that I should submit

nicole said...

You look like - who me? Yeah, ME. I just gave birth, suckas! What about it. - I love it.

And, DUH, we sent you stuffs for the video. We lurve you. xo.

brooke knight said...

i can barely stop giggling enough to comment. it's the look on your face. you look drugged! so funny.

Desperately Seeking Gina said...

Kat, you're killing me. The look on your face clearly says: "I know you want some more of this."

I can't stop laughing! {and I was in a really bad mood up until now!}

Meredith said...

This might be your funniest post. Wait... yep, it definitely is. Your face is priceless. And the boob cuppage is in a league of its own. Thank you for making my Friday.

megan mcniff said...

that is quite possibly the best picture EVER. i can't even stop laughing at this point. i think the best thing is that you were so adamant to have that picture taken.


my pics will be coming after tomorrow.
too consumed right now cleaning for my hubby's 30th birthday open house.

i can only hope i can dig out an awesome pic like that to share with you.

thanks for making my entire night.

kelciehuff said...

You absolutely crack me up. I too remember feeling all hot and sexy post birth. So I put on this skin tight size small fitted tee and expected it to look cute. Looking back on pictures, it was as wrong a decision as anything could be.

Panamamama said...

Cracking me up!

the day's said...

this. is. my. favorite. post. EVER!!!

Jennifer said...

I keep coming back to look at the picture because it is so awesome. I think i may print and frame a copy so htat I can always look at it when I am in a shitty mood. I love you.

Unknown said...

louis vuitton bags
gucci belts
coach outlet online
coach factorty outlet
celine handbags
replica rolex watches
canada goose jackets
nike air force 1 white
coach outlet
cheap oakleys
air jordan homme
coach outlet online
nike blazers uk
ray ban sunglasses uk
louis vuitton handbags
oakley sunglasses
michael kors bags
giuseppe zanotti outlet
retro 11
ray ban eyeglasses
christian louboutin sale
jordan 3 powder blue
nike free 5.0
michael kors outlet
pandora charms
louis vuitton outlet
jordan retro 11
cheap ray ban sunglasses
polo ralph lauren outlet
louis vuitton outlet
coach outlet clearance
gucci outlet
louis vuitton outlet
air jordan shoes
coach factorty outlet online
louis vuitton
nike air max uk
adidas wings
ray ban sunglasses

Unknown said...

michael kors outlet
true religion jeans
michael kors outlet
adidas wings shoes
fitflops outlet sale
air max 90
polo ralph lauren
longchamp outlet
michael kors outlet
nike free run
gucci outlet online
kate spade handbags
hollister clothing store
ray-ban sunglasses
longchamp outlet
oakley sunglasses
tory burch outlet
jordan shoes
louis vuitton neverfull sale
coach outlet clearance
coach outlet online
coach outlet store
instyler ionic styler
michael kors outlet online
ferragamo outlet
mcm outlet
coach outlet
abercrombie and fitch
bottega veneta outlet
basketball shoes
swarovski jewelry
nfl jersey wholesale
herve leger outlet
beats by dre
lacoste polo shirts

caiyan said...

michael kors outlet
puma shoes
yeezy boost 350
celine outlet
canada goose jackets
cheap uggs
burberry sale
kevin durant shoes
ugg boots outlet
canada goose outlet online

chenlili said...

mcm bags
chanel bags
sac louis vuitton
rolex watches
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet clearance
ralph lauren uk
michael kors
washington wizards jerseys
louis vuitton outlet

Unknown said...

yeezy shoes
nike air max 2016
christian louboutin shoes
michael kors outlet store
lacoste outlet
basketball shoes
kobe basketball shoes
kyrie irving shoes
timberland shoes

adidas nmd said...

cheap jordan shoes
jordan shoes
jordan shoes
armani exchange
birkenstock outlet
bruberry sale
canada goose outlet
canada goose sale
nike outlet
oakley sunglasses

Unknown said...

isabel marant shoes
kevin durant shoes
christian louboutin outlet
nike air max
ferragamo shoes
uggs outlet
prada handbags
brequet wathes
coach factory outlet
coach outlet

Unknown said...

michael kors outlet
kate spade outlet
mulberry handbags
cheap jordans
burberry outlet
kevin durant shoes
jerseys from china
jordan shoes
ralph lauren polo shirts
ecco shoes

jeje said...

issey miyake
red bottom shoes
christian louboutin outlet
coach outlet online
christian louboutin shoes
ugg boots outlet
kate spade outlet
ugg boots
true religion jeans outlet
true religion jeans

yanmaneee said...

coach outlet
goyard bag
cheap mlb jerseys
adidas shoes outlet
lebron 16
cheap nfl jerseys
timberland boots
jordan 13
air yeezy
cheap nba jerseys

Unknown said...

dig this Dolabuy Loewe you can try this out https://www.dolabuy.ru/ check this Ysl replica bags

mctoxe said...

Continue j3u07p8h71 bags replica gucci replica bags thailand i4i12w1k25 replica radley bags internet v4j85c8p12 replica bags from china free shipping replica bags koh samui fake gucci u1a05x1p94 replica bags review