I need to tell you about a photo that I'm submitting (to my own) video. It's affectionately dubbed the MOST EMBARRASSING PHOTO OF ALL TIME. But there is an oh-so-ridiculous story behind it. Wanna here it? (No? Click away then.)
FOR THOSE WHO DO:
This is a photo taken almost immediately after Nate's birth. I BEGGED Karl to take it. BEGGED. Why? Because AT THAT TIME I felt like I looked absolutely INCREDIBLE. Like DAMN I AM HOT incredible. Like NO ONE IS AS GORGEOUS AS ME AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME incredible. Like DON'T EVEN LOOK AT THAT NEWBORN IN THE BED OVER THERE BECAUSE DON'T I LOOK GOOD incredible.
If you've ever had a child evacuate your insides, well, you feel real empty on the inside. It's completely bizarre sensation to have this big THING squashed up in there and then, suddenly, not. For me, after Nate's birth I think that empty feeling equated with LOOK HOW SKINNY I AM NOW! Hahahha. I mean this was literally like an hour after birth. I was so freaking high and amped on adrenaline and awesomeness (and w/ Nate's birth I was upright! Walking around! Feeling SUPER WOMAN GOOD!) (Don't worry... about four hours later I felt like a truck had, in fact, steamrolled my entire body and could barely move.) I really, truly thought I looked amazing. (Hence the photo-begging.) Plus, I had this blue swim suit cover up / night gown like thing that was all soft and stretchy and amazing and PART OF THE PLAN and I was going to labor in it and I didn't get to so I NEEDED Karl to take a photo of me in it. CLEARLY.
Want to see the photo?
(You know I would not share this photo with just anyone, right?)
(Wow. It's going to be real hard to hit publish on this post. This photo is atrocious.)
Here are the questions I would like us to discuss:
1. HOLY PALE. Am I actually a ghost? How much blood did I lose during birth? Answer: A LOT.
2. Why am I holding my hands that way? Are my boobs leaking? Do I have a bra on and, if not, is this my was of disguising that? (YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE HILLS.)
3. Are we sure the baby is out? Because I think I might still look a little pregs. Or just perhaps pokeably soft(er than normal) around the midsection.
4. Do I actually have a black eye? Two? I look EXHAUSTED. (But in my mind I remember feeling so good and awake and alive!) (Never mind that it was 3 in the morning and I had worked that whole day!)
5. WHY ARE THEY LETTING ME STAND UP? (I'm sure I was told to just sit down already.... I do have many memories of people telling me to SIT STILL.)
Sadly, this is one of the only post-birth photos I have. I'm not advocating full on hair and makeup this time around but someone PLEASE handle the camera with more care and try to get a shot of me looking less, uh, dead.
IN CONCLUSION, I am submitting this GEM to the video and want you to feel like you can submit whatever you so desire so send me your photos for the video! I'm so pumped about it. I haven't looked at a single thing anyone has sent but I couldn't resist peeking to see if ANYONE had sent ANYTHING and, shockingly, some of you have (and I love and appreciate you for it; I'm so excited to watch it!).