9.02.2011

the most embarrassing contribution photo there ever was

I need to tell you about a photo that I'm submitting (to my own) video.   It's affectionately dubbed the MOST EMBARRASSING PHOTO OF ALL TIME.   But there is an oh-so-ridiculous story behind it.  Wanna here it?  (No? Click away then.)  

FOR THOSE WHO DO: 

This is a photo taken almost immediately after Nate's birth.  I BEGGED Karl to take it.  BEGGED.  Why?  Because AT THAT TIME I felt like I looked absolutely INCREDIBLE.  Like DAMN I AM HOT incredible.   Like NO ONE IS AS GORGEOUS AS ME AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME incredible.  Like DON'T EVEN LOOK AT THAT NEWBORN IN THE BED OVER THERE BECAUSE DON'T I LOOK GOOD incredible.

If you've ever had a child evacuate your insides, well, you feel real empty on the inside.  It's completely bizarre sensation to have this big THING squashed up in there and then, suddenly, not.  For me, after Nate's birth I think that empty feeling equated with LOOK HOW SKINNY I AM NOW!  Hahahha.  I mean this was literally like an hour after birth.   I was so freaking high and amped on adrenaline and awesomeness (and w/ Nate's birth I was upright!  Walking around!  Feeling SUPER WOMAN GOOD!)  (Don't worry... about four hours later I felt like a truck had, in fact, steamrolled my entire body and could barely move.)  I really, truly thought I looked amazing.  (Hence the photo-begging.)  Plus, I had this blue swim suit cover up / night gown like thing that was all soft and stretchy and amazing and PART OF THE PLAN and I was going to labor in it and I didn't get to so I NEEDED Karl to take a photo of me in it.  CLEARLY.  

Want to see the photo?  

(You know I would not share this photo with just anyone, right?)  

(Wow.  It's going to be real hard to hit publish on this post.  This photo is atrocious.) 



Here are the questions I would like us to discuss: 

1. HOLY PALE.  Am I actually a ghost?  How much blood did I lose during birth?  Answer: A LOT. 

2. Why am I holding my hands that way?  Are my boobs leaking?  Do I have a bra on and, if not, is this my was of disguising that?  (YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE HILLS.) 

3.  Are we sure the baby is out?  Because I think I might still look a little pregs.  Or just perhaps pokeably soft(er than normal) around the midsection. 

4.  Do I actually have a black eye?  Two?  I look EXHAUSTED.  (But in my mind I remember feeling so good and awake and alive!) (Never mind that it was 3 in the morning and I had worked that whole day!)  

5.  WHY ARE THEY LETTING ME STAND UP?   (I'm sure I was told to just sit down already.... I do have many memories of people telling me to SIT STILL.) 

Sadly, this is one of the only post-birth photos I have.  I'm not advocating full on hair and makeup this time around but someone PLEASE handle the camera with more care and try to get a shot of me looking less, uh, dead.    

IN CONCLUSION, I am submitting this GEM to the video and want you to feel like you can submit whatever you so desire so send me your photos for the video!  I'm so pumped about it.  I haven't looked at a single thing anyone has sent but I couldn't resist peeking to see if ANYONE had sent ANYTHING and, shockingly, some of you have (and I love and appreciate you for it; I'm so excited to watch it!).  


16 comments:

Kate said...

omg that's hilarious.

Ashley said...

i love everything about this post. But mostly how you are cupping your own boobs in the pic. I have a pic of Cooper exiting my vag that I should submit

nicole said...

You look like - who me? Yeah, ME. I just gave birth, suckas! What about it. - I love it.

And, DUH, we sent you stuffs for the video. We lurve you. xo.

brooke knight said...

i can barely stop giggling enough to comment. it's the look on your face. you look drugged! so funny.

gina said...

Kat, you're killing me. The look on your face clearly says: "I know you want some more of this."

I can't stop laughing! {and I was in a really bad mood up until now!}

Meredith said...

This might be your funniest post. Wait... yep, it definitely is. Your face is priceless. And the boob cuppage is in a league of its own. Thank you for making my Friday.

megan mcniff said...

that is quite possibly the best picture EVER. i can't even stop laughing at this point. i think the best thing is that you were so adamant to have that picture taken.

AWESOME.

my pics will be coming after tomorrow.
too consumed right now cleaning for my hubby's 30th birthday open house.

i can only hope i can dig out an awesome pic like that to share with you.

thanks for making my entire night.

Kelcie said...

You absolutely crack me up. I too remember feeling all hot and sexy post birth. So I put on this skin tight size small fitted tee and expected it to look cute. Looking back on pictures, it was as wrong a decision as anything could be.

panamamama said...

Cracking me up!

the day's said...

this. is. my. favorite. post. EVER!!!

Jennifer said...

I keep coming back to look at the picture because it is so awesome. I think i may print and frame a copy so htat I can always look at it when I am in a shitty mood. I love you.

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