so there was this one time i signed up to be a soccer coach...

So.  Let's discuss children and ACTIVITIES, yes?  Thus far in his short 4 years, 2 months and 5 days, Nate has taken a six-week soccer lesson session (total bust) and a spring t-ball league (he loved it; most of his teammates lost interest).  

I've been a little concerned about over-scheduling the kids and ourselves (especially with dragging the baby along) but listen: my kid has SO much energy.  And he likes to play sports.  All of them.  He asks me to sign him up for things all the time.  Baseball, football, basketball, soccer. (The low point was one day we were using some colored tape for an art project and he asked, "Mommy, can you sign me up for tape?")  He's energetic and overly social so, seriously, activities are good for him.  School is fantastic for him.  (Karl and I were both excessively shy as children so it's funny to have this extroverted 4 year old boy child living among us,  popping out of the car eagerly at school every single day and talking to basically anyone and everyone in public.)  

As of right now, we're sort of testing things out one activity at a time... trying not to get too crazy and tentatively trying to discover what he's interested in. And, honestly (LET THE RECORD SHOW), if he asked repetitively for some strangish activity (Is 4 too young for larping?) we would let him try whatever.  (Maybe they really do have 'tape' lessons?)

But that's not what you want to hear about now is it?  You want to hear the crazy part about how all my soccer mom dreams are coming true!  (Apparently, I take the whole soccer mom title VERRRRY literally.)  Well, to be honest, it's really not that crazy at all.  I like kids.  I like soccer.  I have a REALLY loud yelling voice.  I played recreational and competitive soccer (school and club) through high school.  I am by no means a good player but I'm not the worst either.   I have babies in bathrooms - surely I can handle a gaggle of four year olds on a soccer field, right? 

So I signed up.  

I went to an informational (and required) coaches meeting.  I didn't realize it would be for the whole club (they go to U18) and I didn't realize it would be so official.  (Read: I showed up in jeans and a tank top (SHOCKING) with the baby on my hip (ALSO SHOCKING) and the rest of the room was filled with older dudes in work clothes.  Oops.)  I almost left.  They gave our age group a Master List of all the Under-5 players and we were supposed to pick our teams.  They play 3 versus 3 at this age so I only needed 6 kids.  I stared at the list uncomprehendingly while the other coaches MADE LISTS.  I finally just picked all the kids from Nate's school and all the kid's from his friend Harrison's school.  When I turned it in, the other coach was all "Are any of them really good?"  I DON'T KNOW DUDE.  THEY'RE FOUR.  (I did not say that, but, really, if I can keep them on the field the whole game, that's an accomplishment, right?)  

Regardless, we had our first practice this week. 



I have a team full of boys! (though, for the record, there are many girls in the league).   Karl helped me coach.  (Go team.) 

Here's what I've learned so far: 
  • When you don't know what to do next Option 1: RUN!  (They possibly loved the running more than the soccer.) 
  • When you don't know what to do next Option 2: DRINK BREAK!  (Drinks  = Very Important.) 
So far, so good.

DRINK BREAK.  (You can have wine.)   


brooke knight said...

Love it. My boss put together a 4-5yo girls team with his daughter and some other teacher kids to do 3v3, he loves it. "Pink Ravens" :)

melissa said...

photos! will nater call you coach or mom? :)

Anonymous said...

Mylee played on a co-ed team at that age.

It is so fun to watch. They allow the adults/coach on the field it is cute.

--Aunt Jayne

Aubrey said...

LOVE it. I was a kid like Nate. Ella and Kate are kids like you and Karl (oh, and Nick). I would have begged my parents to sign me up for tape. Instead, my dad coached every baseball-related team I ever played on from t-ball to peewees (yes, with the boys) to slow pitch to fast pitch (softball). I know for a fact he made shit up as he went along, and he was an awesome coach. God love involved parents like Coach Kat and my dear old dad!

Kate said...

"Are any of them really good?"


Kat, I have known people who coached MUCH older kids at soccer and still thought it a success to keep the goalie facing the field instead of his own goal. So, um, yeah. That guy is crazy.

Ideas for practice (these are from a soccer thing G did when she was 2.5): jumping jacks! Yell out, "X, Pencil, X, Pencil!" and they get really into doing the jumping jacks along with it. Also: red light, green light. Add in some wacky lights like yellow (slow) or blue (backwards) for fun.

Good luck!

mneesvig said...

Maybe our team will play your team this season! :)

Jax said...

Fantastic! This is going to make for some awesome stories! Nate is so lucky to have such a great momma who is willing to make sure he's able to do anything!

Ashley said...

Love this! How fun for Nate to have you (and Karl) coaching his team! I canNOT believe that guy asked if any of them are good. wtf?

Andrea said...

You are amazzzzihn!

I have tell you a secret. Don't think I'm weird or anything. Okay, it probably too late for that but I have this dream that one day you are going to write this awesome book about you life, kind of like on the blog "Enjoying the Small Things" by Kelle Hampton only YOUR book is going to be way more real, hilarious, maybe, just maybe have bad words (yes!)

Anyway, just wanted to give you a shout out and tell you how much I love reading your blog and it inspires me to write more, also.

Take care!

jessica said...

I would totally want to "sign up for tape." Your kid is the coolest! Yay for you for coaching!

jessica said...

I would totally want to "sign up for tape." Your kid is the coolest! Yay for you for coaching!

Meredith said...

This post made me laugh and then throw up a little bit. They made lists?! Who are these people? I love that you're doing this and I can't wait to hear more stories. I have already told Michael that he WILL BE our kids soccer coach. Way to be involved, lady! :)

Lauryl Lane said...

I don't know why this cracks me up so much, but I remember in college that I was voted "most likely to be a soccer mom" or something like that, and I was all whaaaaa???? Because yes, I took care of my younger siblings All.The.Time., but I had no interest in continuing to look after children once I had effectively flown the familial nest. Anyway, I guess it's just funny how off our perception can be, because I certainly never would have envisioned you as a soccer mom, and yet, here you are. The world turns strangely. Also, way to show those weirdos a little perspective. REALLY GOOD? At five, shouldn't they just be focused on having REALLY GOOD FUN? ;-) Also, side note, Nate is FIVE? Holy crap time flies.