take THAT s.a.d.

It's a new season and, normally, you know me, I'm all SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER and I hate everyone and so on and so forth.  (What?  You know it's true.  Like clock work every year I struggle as I'm ripped from my flip flops and tank tops and have to actually WEAR CLOTHES.  What?  It's a rough life.)  But this year feels a little different.  I don't know what it is.  (I really don't.)  I definitely can feel myself changing.   I feel, for the most part, MORE patient with the kids (which is a bonus) and MORE patient with life in general.  (I'm sure my parents are laughing hysterically - slowness and patience.. hardy har har KATHLEEN.) 

I think if I look closely I'd say a lot of it is TOTAL DENIAL about how old my kids (ha - 4 and nearly 1...so, basically, college) are getting and how fast life is changing.  I want to enjoy it and I want to enjoy it with people I love and trust.  (Not that I didn't want these things before but when time and energy become more precious commodities choosing what you do and who you do it with seems more critical.)

We've lost several close local friends in the past couple of years to new jobs in new cities (and some, let's face it, to simply drifting apart because our lifestyles are different or whatever else.)   Our little church that we've been a part of for the last few years also recently closed its doors (last week) so that chapter is also closing.  We've (obviously) added another person to our family and, though she's a happy girl, she is still demanding and getting more so.  (And, FTR, we are still contemplating if the child chapter is closed for us.  Don't ask me about how I burst into tears last week and decided I needed another baby.  We are NOT talking about it.  The baby is NOT turning 1.) 

Anyway, all I'm really trying to say is:  All of these things have made me contemplate how life and relationships and friendships change and how important our choice to be happy really is.  With that being said, I'm trying to focus on the people and the activities that I love (discovering new things - HELLO SOCCER COACHING!)  and letting go of some old (GOODBYE TEEN MOM 2 MARATHONS!).   I also will continue this blog because I love it.  

That is all. 

Run along. 


Aubrey said...

My kids are 5 and 3 - that MUST be the equivalent of med school - and I've found that having older kids has made me a bit more mellow. (At least as mellow as a neurotic control freak can ever be.)

It's obvious that you're happy in your life, and that's so totally awesome.

BUT ARE WE GOING TO HAVE MORE BABIES?! I NEED TO KNOW!! (I warned you about my inner neurotic control freak...)

melissa said...

i'm all for growing and changing but, um, why do the teen mom 2 marathons have to stop?

brooke knight said...

awwwww. good post.

i dreamed about you and Mere (and A) last night...all night.

weird, right.

i like that you said this about life and friends and priorities and choice to be happy because i feel it too and it's so weird and so hard. i miss people a lot, but there isn't much i can do about it right now except let them know and hope that they'll still be around when i get my head above water with the family.

it's nice to hear that i might get more mellow soon - i recently yelled at spouse for simply moving the baby ibuprofen a few inches to the left. WHOA BROOKE.

Jax said...

I am very sad b/c I can't read this post b/c something is saying image shack violation and I can't see your banner! :( It's like a bunch of error messages all over. BOOOOOOOOOO. But I wanted to make sure to tell you in case other people could see it, too.

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