oh hey ava's mom, er, what's your name again

one thing i have noticed as i try to infiltrate this weird "mom" world (me = still feel like a poser.) is that everybody is "so and so's" mommy or "so and so's daddy" and nobody is addressed by their first name - nobody is just Kat or Karl.

honestly, it can be disturbing. I even refer to them as "so and so's mom" when i am describing them/their child/our activity to Karl. (I am guessing this trend will continue, well, forever... I am imagining it will peak while they are in school, huh?) (And I'm guessing it's WAY better than being described as the woman with the large ass or the lady who wears too tight/short/busty outfits!) (because, you know, i do. with the outfits.) so maybe it's not that disturbing. maybe it's one more way parenting makes me less snarky/judgemental. (you can wear your mom jeans around me!)

today, we were at a gymnastics class. this woman and her daughter, whom we see regularly at the class and at the library, and whose daughter i have picked up when she has fallen and who i have given many a "yea!" ::insert happy, smiley face:: when the little girl does whatever activity we are working on (you know, extremely exciting things like popping a bubble on a gym mat.) (YEA!! clap clap clap.) (HAHAHA; sometimes positive reinforcement just seems ridiculous.)

I know a lot about this women - I know she and her husband just moved here and this is her first child and what she does for a living and where she likes to shop and the few restaurants she and her husband have tried in little rock and that her mom is coming to stay with her for a few weeks this summer.

She knows that I am new(ish) to the whole stay at home gig, what I did in my prior work-life, where I'm from, how many siblings i have.... (additionally i gave her my social security #, drivers license #, and how i like my eggs. you know. just in case.)

ANYWAY, the point is. We chat. We talk. She's nice. I'm nice. It's nice to have someone to stand by while the children totter around recklessly poking each other in the eyes. (BE GENTLE, GENTLE!!!!)

BUT we didn't know each others' names.

Until today.

i mean, how hard was that? It took us WEEKS to get there. WEEKS.

Her name is Meredith. AND SHE TOTALLY LOOKS JUST LIKE A MEREDITH. But clearly not in the dark, twisty, annoying Meredith Grey kind of way. More in the all my friends named Meredith are awesome kind of way.

i'm not saying we are going to be BFFs or even friends. (i am a firm subscriber to the make new friends, but keep the old theory.) (me and the girl scouts of america.), but she makes me feel like more in the circle. (the mom circle, not necessarily the one that never ends as the song suggests.)

(for the record her daughter is not named Ava as the post title might suggest.)


melissa said...

you're so cute.

for the record, when i reference your child, most of the time i say "kat's kid" and not nate. this whole post... in reverse, kind of? hope that's okay. ;)

and, by the way, if you're cracking open the thin mints, i'm on my way. 'on my honor, i will try...' girl scouts for life, mofo.

Aubrey said...

I have been there so many times. At the pool/library/playgroup hearing some lady's life story thinking "I don't even know her NAME but I know all about her husband, her labor, and her mother-in-law..." Weird.

Oh yeah. Does Nate really go to gymnastics class? I never figured you for an "enroll him in a class" kind of gal. Teehee. :)

Aubrey said...

P.P.S. So my comment sounded kind of bitchy. Like I don't welcome those conversations with nameless moms. What I meant to say is that I love how motherhood makes women feel an instant bond. We can tell each other fairly intimate things because we've ALL BEEN THERE. For the record, I think that's cool, not weird and creepy. :)

sdhorton said...

Are you taking him to Gymboree classes? That sounds like fun and probably a great way to have some play time and out of the house time since your staying at home.

Meredith said...

Three cheers for Meredith! (the name, not me.) (Well maybe me too.)

brooke knight said...

Hahahaha. This happens all the time at school too. Parents will sometimes ask the front desk what someone's name is. Sometimes I look people up in the computer trying to figure out WHO they are even though I say hi to them all the time!

Jax said...

Love it!! haha!! And love you, too. This post is funny.. like it lots.. :)

Lauryl Lane said...

this sort of solidifies my idea that the mom world is a scary, scary world. i hear my friends talking about their children's weights and how soon they talk and how they're ahead of where they should be developmentally, etc., etc. it seems like a lot of comparison goes on and there's some bitchy "my kid is better than your kid" shit. that stuff freaks me out. i'm glad you found someone you like among all the moms- that must help. and meredith is a good, solid name. ;-)

Sarah said...

this was good.
lucia's mom

Maria said...

It's ok. I'm still not part of the "mom" world. Well, except I found some friends with similar parenting styles, but still-- seems like I am a poser walking around most days. Maybe as more of my pre-baby friends have babies I will feel like I belong? You too. Maybe?

P.S. The Boy LOVES gymnastics. :)

Susan said...

I am a bad name rememberer. I am guilty of calling Setler's classmates' parents by "so-and-so's Mom/Dad." Most people are proud of their children and arent' offended by it. I'm not. I recall faces though. So, I'm quick to beat around the bush til a name is dropped or recalled.
P.S. I think it gets worse in high school.

Susan said...

haha, I just reread my comment. I'm not offended I meant. NOT I'm not proud. Oops.

Jennifer said...

Where are the thin mints?


Matlock's mom

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