things you do not expect to hear from your dentist

Soooooooooo I was at the dentist last week (prior to New Years) having my teeth cleaned.

Reasons why I am the worst dentist patient EVER:

1. I gag. A lot. (It says it in my file.) Like I can't even do the bitewing thingeys. They have to go old school and x-ray me with cotton in my mouth. Which also makes me gag.

2. I drool. A lot. I feel this is more embarrassing for me than for them.

3. I'm "slow to numb" - also says that in my file. (so proud). I had to have a cavity filled last year and the dentist and I chatted for a solid thirty minutes while waiting for the magical FOUR shots for one tooth to numb my (apparently) dense bones.

4. I had pregnancy gingivitis issues while pregs with Nate (all that gagging on the toothbrush and vomiting surely didn't help) and still have slight gum issues. Yuck.

My hygienist and I were discussing my bloody gum issues. Apparently I have strong teeth but weak gums (Just say NO to flossing!). Nothing that is a big deal or that requires more dental work, but still, embarrassing. I mean, Nate is 18 months old. No longer can my pregnancy be blamed. Momma would
not be proud.

So I am talking to her about medicated rinses and she and the dentist begin to ask me questions like "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" AND I can't immediately say yes or no b/c I can't remember certain, uh, timing of uh, certain things (eek - uncomfortable! hi dad!) AND then the dentist said "I am not predicting anything but your gums look very hormonal!" and then mumbled something about he wouldn't be surprised and maybe I should go home and find out. And (I swear to god ya'll) my heart skipped a few beats and I had an IMMEDIATE flashback of myself, three days prior, biting into an enormo cookies and cream Hershey's bar that I threw in my grocery cart at the last moment. I craved (and ate) many a Cookies N Cream shake from Chic-Fil-A when I was knocked up with Nate and hadn't even thought about the combination since.

Uh, yikes.

I did go home and POAS (Pee On A Stick). (Clever acronym, o wise internetz).




I was relieved and able to drink my champagne without a worry as the ball dropped. I know I posted a few weeks ago about my increased baby fevah but there's something about Doing It All Again that I'm (clearly) still a little teeter-tottery about!

So, overall, it was one of the more AWKWARD exchanges with a dentist that I have had in my life (though one time I did have a gynecologist tell me I had birthing hips (at 17 and no more than 110 pounds!) which was WAY more awkward, but apparently, TRUE.)

Hormonal gums.


Off to floss for the third time today. (What? I'm all paranoid now! I can't lose my teeth - I live in Arkansas for gods sake. WE HAVE TEETH HERE.)


Aubrey said...

That conversation cracked me up and gave me chilly flashbacks. I found out I was preggers with Kate at the doctor's office. Not dentist, but still. And dude, I was NOT ready to DO IT ALL AGAIN at the time, but it turned out MARVELOUSLY.

P.S. I too gag a lot, and I gag EXTRA when there's a bun in the oven. Tooth brushing time is a dreaded event while knocked up.

melissa said...

YIPES. that's all i can really say about that. i can't imagine my dentist telling me i could be pregs... i'd slap him. ;)

Amanda J said...

I can completely sympathize with the weak gums and strong teeth. My dentist has told me the same thing many a' time. I too have a very sensitive gag reflex....I'm a horrible dental patient. For example, I've been boycotting the dentist while pregnant just to avoid the gaging problem! And, I'm such a baby that I use the silly gas when I get my teeth cleaned, which I obviously can't do pregnant. So I'm waiting to go back until I can have the good stuff!!!!

Ashley said...

I gag every morning/night when I brush my teeth. Every single day of pregnancy thus far. I dread brushing because of it.

AND when I had my crown done is September (when i was pg and didn't know), I drooled a TON at the dentist! I was all embarrassed and felt like maybe I should apologize. Like they took things out of my mouth and WRAPPED the string of saliva around their gloved hand. Sick. It wasn't until AFTER I found out I was pregnant that I read it can cause you to have increased saliva! Sick again. I kind of wanted to call them and be all "It was because I was pregnant!!"

nicole said...

Once, an oral surgeon asked me if there was any chance I had AIDS. I was 12 years old! I guess there are certain things they have to ask? When dealing with blood, saliva, etc.? But still... awkward! I was pretty freaked out already, before the AIDS talk. Thanks, doc.

sdhorton said...

I had a pregnancy scare too recently. I had periods of extreme nausea that were at random times and lasted for weeks. It too was a SCARE for me so that let's me know I am probably not ready for number two just yet. I had all sorts of anxiety and thoughts racing through my head waiting on the three minute window to get my result of the pregnancy test. (of course it was negative)

Meredith said...

How many people do you know who had gum surgery at 23? (I just raised my hand. Well not really, but you get the point. ) I have weak gums and was definitely not pregnant then. :) Sorry to hear your file is filled with doctor's notes. And since this post is all about disgustingness, I don't gag that much but I gleek (sp?). When it happens I never know if I should laugh or act like it didn't happen. Long story short: I hate the dentist.

Lauryl Lane said...

Well, I had a dumb Oklahoma doc tell me when I was 26 (and only married a little over a year) that if I wanted children I should probably start trying to conceive soon. I said I wasn't interested in having kids till my 30's. He said it gets very difficult to conceive after the age of 30, and MORE difficult each year thereafter. I said that my Mum had her first kid at 30 and then 7 more, with the last at the age of 45, and they were all conceived with no difficulties, so I wasn't concerned. That seemed to shut him up. But, awkward for realz. ;-)