a reminder from YOUR MOM

Alternate Title: The Click Away Movement

I don't often talk about the actual topic of 'The Blogging' in this space. Partly because I'm more of a do-er than a let's sit around and talk about it for hours type of person. (Read: I am a blogging MACHINE. Don't mess with me.) Partly because, in the five plus years I've had this particular space, I've seen a lot of trends and people and spaces come and go. But, mostly, because, frankly, I don't care what you blog about. I'm not interested in labeling myself or you and your words. In fact, if I don't care for it or I'm not interested in it, then I will probably do this little thing that I've entitled 'CLICK AWAY!' (We should start a movement, yes?) (And you must say it like the krill in Finding Nemo when they tell Dorie to 'SWIM AWAY!')

I have been wanting to get this thought off my chest. I know it is not a new thought/topic and that many before me and after me will write about it, but lately it's been under my skin. Mostly it stemmed from someone saying something along the lines of "I normally hate mommy bloggers but I like your blog."

The Label... gah. Why must we bring up The Label? I (try to) ignore it. In all honesty, it does not bother me (I enjoy being both mom and blogger and, undeniably, a mommy blogger) except (as in this situation) when it's used with such a clearly negative connotation.

Because what I am interested in out here in the big bad Internetland: getting to know you, reading about your life and building our own little corner of the internet. I don't want to come across your blog or your writing and think "mommy blogger" or "career blogger." I want to read your words and you think "Yes. Follow. I think I might like this person." (Or, in some cases, LOVE might be a more appropriate response and I can't subscribe fast enough.)

Use the word AUTHENTIC if you will. Take that word and then BE IT. Authentic might be a buzzword but I think it's a good one. We're building a community here on the Internetz - in a strange and new way. We choose to be involved in it. Don't misunderstand me: It's NOT a replacement for real life interaction but it's a place to get to know each other and real friendships can be formed.

So this is my call to be yourself in your own online space (even on the Book Face and the Tweeters) and to tell the friends and bloggers that take the time and energy to put themselves out there that it's lovely that they do so. Do we occasionally get boring or repetitive with our words? Why, yes, yes we do. Is our grammar always PERFECT? No, no it is not. (Mine especially.) But guess what? SOMETIMES I LIKE READING ABOUT THE MISSPELLED COLORS OF YOUR SNOT. Sometimes those little, boring and glaringly human details make me like blogging the most(est).


melissa said...

i love you, princess cowgirl spaceman. you're everything i hope i'll be someday. your blog is the highlight of my day. xo

Aubrey said...

Thanks, Mom.

I am without a doubt the most boring, repetitive, annoyingly child-focused blogger I know. But if peeps out there don't like it...I really could not care less. I blog for MYSELF. And my real friends. And, of course, my mom. Doesn't get more authentic than that. :)

I love the way you're so outgoing in CYBERSPACE. The extrovert in me gets a kick out of a room full of people. But I only read blogs of people I actually know. I'm just not interested otherwise. Ugh. I'm so lame...so 20th century.

Be yourself GOD DAMNIT. That cracked me up.

And to make an already long comment longer, have you read Uglies? Give it a try, booklover.

Eve said...

You are awesome Kat. I needed a pep talk this morning.

Kelli said...

There are some people I would categorize as 'mommy bloggers' that I love to read, despite my lack of children – it's still about life. While there are others who are so (forgive me) up their childrens' asses that they've lost their sense of self. And that I cannot read. I will, as you say, click away very quickly. You can be a mom and still be a person.
But, as much as I may hate a post about poop or snot or cuddly-wuddley sugar sweet make my teeth hurt post, there are others that eat it up with a spoon. And that's what makes us all great.
(but seriously if you talk about poop, I wont read)

Chatty Fattie said...

I funking love this entry. And you. I'm a whore for reading blogs, but lazy about commenting. Today you made me use my words to tell you you're better than other people.

sarabethjones said...

You know, I've been meaning to tell you - I normally hate mommybloggers but I REALLY LIKE your blog!

Stacia said...

I love your blog and always have...you were my 2nd blog to ever read and I will always read! I don't call you any "type" of blogger, I call you Kat :)

Jennifer said...

I love this post which you already know. I think the CLICK AWAY is my big thing. If you don't have something nice to say just don't say it. Jeesh didn't people learn that from their MOM too???

Lauryl Lane said...

I dunno... the only reason that I enjoy reading blogs such as yours is because IT'S YOURS. And I KNOW YOU. If you were some random person, I wouldn't give a shit. I wouldn't care about your life or your kid (even if he IS freaking adorable) or anything else. I wouldn't take the time to read. When it comes to blogs, the only "personal" blogs I read belong to the people I know (or knew) in real life. People I care about. People I love. People I want to stay in touch with despite the miles that separate us.

Who cares if you're a mommy blogger or any other type of blogger? Yeah, a lot of people read my blog because they like my flowers and my pretty pictures. But I guarantee that the majority of the people who actually READ my blog and comment are people who know me and care about me.

We're not in this to make money, to generate tons of clicks or hits or get people to buy useless crap from ugly advertisements. We're in this to CONNECT. None of the labels matter if your blog is allowing you to keep in touch with the people you care about, and vice-versa. Ignore the labels. The connection is where it's at.


katandkarl said...

Thanks Everyone for the comments.....

Lauryl's sparked me to say this:

@lauryl - I have to say I mostly agree with you. And most of the blogs I truly follow are those that I know. I...(to possibly add to your point) do think there are people I have met in real life that say "oh I have a blog too" & I think I am willing to read theirs (versus a stranger) and feel like I know them just a little bit better...or am perhaps willing to read some of the more "boring" posts that do not interest me in an effort to build a friendship.

Though there are certain bloggers that I read that I don't know and I wouldn't hesitate to invite to my house or have dinner or coffee with if they lived in the same city. And some of them I REALLY WISHED LIVED IN THE SAME CITY. g nm b

Maybe I will do a followup bc I think you hit on a point - we arent in this to generate money and clicks. If we were I think I would have stopped a long time ago!

Anonymous said...

People on the internet have bigger balls.

There are plenty of people who talk way too much about their children IRL. I had to hear one of the chicks in my office talk on the phone to one person after another about her son's new found milk allergy. Total overkill. That was the second day she found out, I wasn't in the office for the first day but I heard through the grapevine that it was the talk of the town.
Nobody is going to walk up to her and say "I hate listening to you talk about nothing other than your child for hours on end." The Click Away feature in real life is to simply ignore someone. But all of the sudden when they're typing into a text box instead of looking at a person face to face they're Billy Badass just waiting to assert their opinion. And it's annoying.
Basically I totally agree with you.

Angela said...

I agree with Lauryl-- the only personal blogs I read belong to people I know and actually care about. I don't know why, but the blogs that are obviously trying to make money and win popularity contests annoy me... so I click away! ;-)

Kate said...

click away! I couldn't agree with you more. I'm a mom and a blogger, so I have no problem being a mommy blogger I guess but no one needs to slam it. If you don't like what I am talking about, then feel free to click away! (Even poop talk is fair game to me, in moderation of course. It does not phase me and is um, for better or worse, an integral part of the lives of all parents of young children, so I know that many of my friends and readers can relate and take solace knowing that we're sharing similar experiences. I get it if that does not interest others, but I think that's Kat's point: click away!)

I agree with other commenters here that some blogs seem to go off course when they start trying to make money. If a person can do that without losing their true voice, then more power to 'em. But most people aren't able to make the leap in my opinion.

As for me, I started my family's blog as a way to keep in touch with far flung family and friends. The blog has also become our "baby book" of sorts - a way that my kids can look back on this portion of their lives someday and know what their crazy mom was thinking. The fact that my blog has attracted a few strangers that have turned into friends (that I only know online) is just gravy, but ultimately I've got the people I actually know (including my own kids) in mind when I write. I'm not gonna lie, it's gratifying to get comments from others, but I don't do it for the comments or to be popular. So in conclusion, yes, click away!

Meredith said...

I have this horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I said something to you a while ago that was similar-ish to that comment. I by no means hate mommy-bloggers (or whatever they're called), most of the blogs I love just so happen to be moms, but I think I commented on how you talk about so many different things, including being a mom. But rather than defend myself, I will simply say I am SO sorry if my comment offended you. :(

Kate said...

irishgrudge - totally friendly debate here, but I have to say I kind of disagree with you about the bigger balls idea. (specifically as it relates to food allergies, actually.)

I started a blog about my child's food allergies precisely so I don't have to bother my coworkers or others who don't care. I needed a place to discuss it and get things off my chest. Some would say "well, get a diary" but I like the blog's ability to connect me with other people going through a similar experience. We've all learned from each other. And for everyone else, (even some friends and family), who aren't interested in hearing about food allergies in such detail, that's the beauty of it -- they can all just "click away!"

Sarah said...

I like your Click Away Movement - I find it empowering. Sometimes, like Angela, I find myself on a blog that really annoys me!! So.. I CLICK THE FREAK AWAY. sometimes i have to keep myself from writing something crappy in the comment section.

I've never really thought of your blog as a mommy blog. I guess I label blogs though - if I think of my RSS feed, I have blogs categorized as "mommy blogs", "design", "fashion" and "records of life." your RSS is actually filed under "records of life"... should I move it to mommy blogger? j/k

i guess because i started reading your blog long before you were a mommy, i've always just considered it a journal-type log of your life with karl, things you like, stuff that makes you happy or um... annoyed :)

i get it though. i know what you mean. i don't even tell some people about my blog because they would not appreciate it. sometimes i think mine has turned kinda mommy on me. i even considered making one that would be less lucia centered, but then i thought, "why? lucia is a big part of my life and if she is what makes me happy when i write, then so be it. forget about everyone else." also, why can i not just write about anything and everything? who am i trying to please? everyone else, or myself?

while i am rambling at four in the morning...(lucia is sick)... i have to admit that sadly (is it sad?) most of the blogs that i read - i'd say eighty percent - are of people that i do not know! is it weird that i actually feel like i know some of the people i read though? i exchange christmas cards with two girls that i met on the internets - i actually really like them and think i would be their friends if i lived close to them. or maybe not. did i just admit that? i don't know. what is my point here?

oh and one last thing... if i were in in for clicks, i too would have quite a long time ago. how can you even measure clicks? is there a way to see if i get traffic from china? i know i will never make money blogging. i like blogging for the art of it... most of the blogs that i am attracted to are pretty and sweet and happy.

i blog for myself. i have to admit though, i like when people read my writing. it makes me happy. ... even if it is just my dear old dad.

sorry this turned into the longest comment in the history of comments.
where was i going with all of this? oh right,i am distracting myself from the idea that i am up with a coughing baby at four am, do not have lesson plans made for the day, and need a cup of coffee. stat.

i think i should start our photo project again, no? i suck!

Sarah said...

I like your Click Away Movement - I find it empowering. Sometimes, like Angela, I find myself on a blog that really annoys me!! So.. I CLICK THE FREAK AWAY. sometimes i have to keep myself from writing something crappy in the comment section.

I've never really thought of your blog as a mommy blog. I guess I label blogs though - if I think of my RSS feed, I have blogs categorized as "mommy blogs", "design", "fashion" and "records of life." your RSS is actually filed under "records of life"... should I move it to mommy blogger? j/k

i guess because i started reading your blog long before you were a mommy, i've always just considered it a journal-type log of your life with karl, things you like, stuff that makes you happy or um... annoyed :)

Anonymous said...

@Kate - I totally understand the desire to write a personal blog as a means of connection as well as catharsis. I think either I didn't communicate my point well or it was misunderstood.

What I meant was that some people are rude about mommybloggers instead of just clicking away. In real life if someone talks constantly about their kid very few people would say something rude. It's much easier to be mean/rude to someone you can't see. So the internet gives them bigger balls than they would ever have if confronted with the exact same situation in their daily life.

I was simply using the food allergy thing as an example because it happened very recently. In my opinion, you did the preferable thing...created a space where those who were interested could engage. As opposed to the woman in my office who forced everyone to engage, whether or not they were interested. It doesn't help that the specific person I'm referring to has a problem with self-involvement in general and doesn't understand that the rest of the world isn't as concerned with her life as she is.
I don't see there being much of a conflict between my point and your point.

Kate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kate said...

@irishgrudge - ahhh, I get it now. I totally missed your point the first time around. I thought you meant that the people blogging had bigger balls b/c instead of just annoying those around them in person, they went so far as to share their opinions with the whole freakin world via the internet.

but now I get what you mean about the nasty anonymous commenters. you are so right about that.

also, I would like to point out that this is perhaps the most civilized discussion ever with the use of "bigger balls" in it 4 times. awesome. further proof that kat's blog should never be clicked away from.

the day's said...

i shall never click away from that nater tot and his kind, funny, cursing, grammatically incorrect, mother blogger. LOVE.

Anonymous said...

I love browsing your blog because you can constantly get us new and cool stuff, I think that I ought to at least say thanks for your hard work.

- Henry

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