may the force... well you all know the rest

Karl: Isn't it weird how many kids were dressed in Star Wars costumes at my work Halloween Party?

Me: You work with a bunch of geeks so... um... no. 

(And, yes, that grown up in there = Karl.) 

brotherly love and rotting flesh

So one of the most asked questions we've fielded since NK has been on the scene is: "How is Nate liking being a big brother?" (Or 'how is he adjusting' or 'how is he dealing with her'  or some variation of that question.) 

My answer Weeks 1 and 2?  He's been great.  He wants to love and kiss her (which is better than wanting to claw her face off or hit her, RIGHT?).   We've barely even noticed the adjustment!  (Ha! Naive much?)    

Week 3 got a little (lot) dicey.  Delayed reaction? Reality sinking in?  Either way, this week has definitely been the toughest.  Lots of tears.  Over LOTS of things.  Ahem, MY APPLE SLICES ARE ON A PLATE AND NOT IN A BOWL followed by a massive crying fit.  The Horror.

There has been much:

Me: "Nate, would you like some peanut butter crackers?" 

Him (full on whine/angry voice): "NO.  I DON'T LIKE PEANUT BUTTER CRACKERS."

Five minutes pass.

Him: "Mommy, can I have some peanut butter crackers?" 

Pretty much it's a little funny, a little annoying (neither Karl nor I deal well with The Whine), and a lot heartbreaking.  You can just SEE him trying to process his emotions and/or control the situation and not knowing exactly how.  He's been particularly jealous of Karl holding the baby.  Karl has been doing bed time and bath time (and many other things with him) for awhile now.  I was so miserable and huge at the end of my pregnancy with Nora Kate that I just couldn't play with Nate or even hold him like I normally would.  Plus, he's always been kind of a daddy's boy.  (It's okay to say that, right?  Even if his preference for Karl is occasionally hurtful to me?  Cue the: "No I want DADDY to do it!" chorus that's been said way too often in the past month.  I get it, kid.  You see me a lot.) 

PLUS THE SLEEPING.  JESUS.   Who is sleeping better?  The newborn or the toddler?  I would seriously go with Nora Kate.  Bedtime has been an absolute nightmare with Nate.  Additionally, he went through a five-day stretch of waking BEFORE SIX.  Not right with Jesus, child.  (Because even though NK is sleeping well she still gets up to eat every 2-3 hours.)  I think he gets in a light sleep stage in the early morning hours and if he hears the baby crying, he is UP.  (And NEVER has he been one to return to sleep or snuggle in once his eyes pop open.)  Thankfully, I think we are almost through it and the past few nights have been exceptionally better (resulting in much better days as well; lack of sleep is no joke).    Neither Karl nor I are upset about it (well at least not in the rational daytime hours); we're just trying to wade our way through. 

Here are some other tidbits I want to remember (in no particular order):

Nate was terrified of her umbilical cord (What's scary about ROTTING FLESH I ask you?!).  Here's the snapshots of the first time he held her (which lasted approximately 20 seconds):

Photo #1:  "Awwww... she's so cute!  I'm a big brother!" 

Photo #2: "Wait.  Wait.  WHAT THE F IS THAT THING?"  

Photo #3: "GROSS. GROSS.  GROSS.  GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!"  (Commence FREAK OUT and attempt to throw baby on the floor - anything to get that thing AWAY.) 

 What else? 

Nora Kate has been going through some serious hair shedding the past few days, leaving her with a decidedly old man like receeding hairline (photos to come?).    One day I was bouncing her and talking to her (i admit it; possibly in baby talk voice) about her old man ugliness and her baby acne.  Nate stopped me and told me "She's very pretty mommy and she's doing VERY well."  HA.  So right little man.  I stand corrected.  

What else?  

He's somewhat possessive of her when introducing her to others.  As in: "She's my baby.  She comes home WITH US."  (50% Possessive?  50% NOTE TO SELF?)  I seriously can't wait to see the dynamic between them as they grow. 

What else?

Here is a short video of their introduction...about 12 hours after she was born.  You can see where his priorities are.  

Love them.

Cardinals Charm

 My little Cardinals fans; they totally know who they're cheering for. 

I could NOT skip mentioning the Cardinals and their MAGICAL season (TEN GAMES BEHIND to even MAKE the playoffs in a Wild Card position.  TEN. GAMES. IN.  SEPTEMBER.)  and how (maybe just a little) I feel like NK is their good luck charm and how this season has reminded me of EVERYTHING I love about baseball and how I can't wait for my children to watch with me (and, clearly, become Cardinals fans!).  

It's an unbelievable story.   (Both mine and the Cardinals, right?  That's what you were thinking too, RIGHT?) 

Let's revisit: 

Sept 28: My friend John promised me I'd have a baby when the Cards won the Wild Card race.  In return, I promised to name my unborn child after the player that made that happen (Good thing she is a girl?).  I became a Phillies fan FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY (It's hard to even type that.) and watched Hunter Pence tap out an INFIELD single to score a run and SQUASH the Braves dreams of the playoffs and allow the Cards IN.  

Oct 1 - 7: Both, me, miserably pregnant and trying to avoid EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE and only taking solace in watching the Cards take out the Phillies in five games. NK was born on a day that they lost (10-4 good buddy; also the Cards manager Tony LaRussa's bday) but we won't hold the loss against her.  She knew we couldn't focus.  Both my parents and my sister were here for that final win Friday night.  We were all sitting in our darkened living room, baby on my chest, Nate asleep in the VERY NEAR OTHER ROOM, silently dancing around and (yes) high fiving while Chris Carpenter pitched an INCREDIBLE game. 

Oct 9-16: The NLDS Cards Brewers series was almost as satisfying as a World Series. My sister lives in Milwaukee and there was MUCH texting as she silently cheered in bars amongst hostile Brewers fans and Karl warned me I wouldn't be allowed to hold the baby during games if I didn't STOP SCREAMING and Nate correcting a choice word that flew out of my mouth when I thought he was out of hearing range.  ("We don't say DAMMIT MOMMY!") 

Oct 19-28:  Bi-polar games with the Rangers culminating in last night's absolutely amazing Game 6 comeback in the 11th inning... game ended with a walk-off homer at almost midnight by David Freese, who is a hometown STL boy who played high school baseball there.   The Cardinals just KEPT COMING BACK.  

Tonight is game 7.  

I AM FREAKING OUT.  

Would I be happy if the Cardinals won their 11th World Series title in 2011? 11 in 11!

Let's just say I'm willing to consider changing Nora Kate's legal name to the player who can do it for me! 

(For my non-baseball loving friends, I understand (I mean, sort of.  I guess.) if you just scanned this post!)  

(BUT BASEBALL!!!!)

(It starts at 7:05.)  

the lineup

I dropped Nate off at school (in his sheriff hat; it's cowboy day!) and then NK and I setup shop in the bed.  (Our heat is OUT; snuggling under the covers REQUIRED until it's fixed.)

The lineup: Starbucks, H2O, lanolin, Desitin, Gatorade, Vitamins.

two weeks: WAIT WAIT

I know time is probably passing at a regular, leisurely pace (ha) for the rest of you BUT IT IS FLYING BY for me and I have no idea where my days and nights are going. 

Nora Kate is two weeks old today and here is a jumbled list of what I want to remember today: 

Post birthing food = important.  We're still receiving dinners from friends and family and I've never been so grateful.  (And sorry that I STILL can not eat The Chicken.  I KNOW!  SURELY chicken consumption will come back someday, right?) 

NK weighed (at birth) 8 pounds and 11 oz.  At her two week appointment, she tipped the scales to NINE POUNDS AND TWELVE OUNCES.  Sweet Jesus, I think I might have my chunky baby!  One baby boy string bean baby, one baby girl chunker?!  CUE IMAGES OF GLORIOUS WRIST ROLLS AND ENORMOUS BABY THIGHS!  If you can't tell, baby fat make me happy.  (Not that I wasn't perfectly content with Nate's bird legs and skinny little arms; it's just fun that they are the opposite!) 

The Bravermans on the show Parenthood had their baby this week.  It was a girl.  GUESS what they named her.   UGH.  REALLY?  NO NO NO NO NO.  Who knew this was happening?  My name, people.  Not allowed. (Ok, FINE, allowed but I don't have to like it.) 

I took NK up to visit Nate's teachers and classroom.  When I got there, they were in the middle of circle/story time.  I sat (in a teensy little chair) until they were done and then all the kids rushed over to say hi (and not touch her face!) (well, let's face it, to not really touch her at all.).  One of the little girls came over, looked at me, looked disinterestedly at the baby and said "I got one of those at home."    

Nora Kate: Day 14 Bedtime Story:

nate and nora kate

Nate:

Nora Kate:

Nate:

Nora Kate:

oops.

WE MADE THE SAME BABY.

7 days of (mostly) bliss

Do you ever have one of those weeks that just affirms the word 'happy' exists and that happy is what you are?  

That sort of defines Nora Kate's first week on the outside.  

It's somewhat ridiculous that I'm feeling that way (HELLO HORMONES!) as her birth was DRAMA, and it was probably one of the more physically pain-filled weeks of my life.  Those contractions that shrink your uterus back up?  THOSE ARE NO JOKE.  I remember them from last time.  Evil.  My midwives assure me that they are stronger with each child (hooray!) and that, due to my freak of nature rocket births, mine most likely even a little stronger as it was shrinking faster (than the average uterus?  unteri?).  Oh, and also, that whole med-free child birth thing comes with a recommendation to 'take some Advil' for the pain after, you know, the actual birthing the baby part is over.  Which I did.  Religiously.  (And also an herbal supplement called 'After Ease' - seriously - which tasted like ass and I'm not sure did anything but make me want to vomit.)  Anyway, I would just lay in bed and moan while Karl rubbed my back and legs.... somehow I thought that would happen BEFORE the baby came out not after.  But whatever.   In between those I felt great and they only lasted a day or two.  

But enough about that (if you want to talk extensive stitches, lingering pelvic pain and numbness, and new-to-me hot flashes CALL ME!).

 Betty White sums it up: 

Oh.  Right.   Sorry.  INAPPROPRIATE BETTY WHITE. 

Ahem.

Let's talk about The Happy.  

(And let's keep it real:  As I just typed that sentence I can hear Nate in the other room crying hysterically about watching an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba before bed.)  

I think my favorite part of this week is being home.  That part I DID plan and that part is working out exceptionally well.   I know it's not for everyone but it works for me.  I sort of love the idea that we (and our family and friends and midwives) are the only people to love and hold her so far.  Selfish?  Silly?  Perhaps so but it's how I'm feeling today (And in a post-partum world TODAY is what matters, right?!)  and I want to remember the feeling for those days when I would pass her off to the gypsies.   

Nora Kate is sort of a dream baby.  I realize she is seven days old and could be a screaming banshee by next week but I AM LOVING THIS WEEK and I intend to enjoy it.  (See also: Newborns sleep an average of 16-22 hours.) 

One, my sister arrived less than 24 hours after NK was born.  When we booked her flight, we were SO SURE the baby would be at least a few weeks old, but, um she was, in fact, about 12 hours old.  Aunt Jenny was ridiculously helpful and spent a lot of time holding her sweet niece!  

(Why yes I did take a five-day-old to the pumpkin patch.) 

Two, SO FAR, Nora Kate has rarely cried and is easily calmed down by a boob, a swaddle or some white noise/shushing.   As mentioned I have been nursing the shit (uh, and the pee.  WHAT? SORRY!) out of her (did I not mention that?).  At this point with Nate I was already pumping myself into an oversupply that was HORRIBLE and I think back to our admission to the hospital for jaundice and I get all angry inside b/c they wouldn't "let" me take him out of his little tanning bed to nurse and it took weeks to work it out (Not BITTER at all!).  Also she's just BETTER at the boobage than he was (maybe because she was baking inside so much longer?) so that helps and it's just made everything much easier and less stressful.  

Three, Nate has been in school so that REALLY helps (both routine-wise for him and attention-wise for me).  I've had three days alone with her and they've been a dreamy mix of napping, nursing aaaaaand repeat until he gets home from school.  Then I sling her up and we go outside to play (One advantage to fall babies in the South - it's GORGEOUS here.).  Who knew you could pitch wiffle balls with a 6 day old sleeping in a sling or play Lighting McQueen video games whilst nursing? 

Four, (it must be mentioned!) the Cardinals are currently playing the Brewers for the National League Championship (the series before the World Series).  I realize this may not be important to some of you but it makes me REAL happy.  NK must be their good luck charm.  (I'm not allowed to watch baseball and hold the baby at the same time.)

Five, I just don't care as much to listen to advice (NOT YOURS!).  (As in, she has barely been set down.  Don't care.  She has been nursed on demand (Why on earth did I ever think a one week old needed anything even resembling an eating schedule? Does NOT work for me.).  Don't care.  She has been sleeping in our bed.  Don't care.) We've been doing what we know works for us and not questioning it.  And, you know what?  Based on the low stress and calmness this week, I feel like (maybe?)  IT IS WORKING!  

NK's 'crib' = day 7. 

She's sleeping on my chest right now and I'm going to attempt to write a "Nate's reaction to Nora" post.

(Did I put the 'it works for ME' disclaimer in there enough?  I know it works your way at your house and I fully understand and respect that.  JUST SO WE ARE CLEAR!)  

We're still adjusting to life on the outside.

I've been trying to write down some thoughts and feelings from her birth but they're still pretty jumbled in my head.  It was insane.  I will tell you one thing: I am so ridiculously happy to be UN-pregnant.  I hope that doesn't make me sound terrible as I am appreciative and grateful that I carried this healthy, gorgeous baby to term but JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH I wanted that child out.  When your first baby comes at 38 weeks and you're second at 42...

For those of you that don't know (and, trust me, I talked to very few people about it), my grandmother passed away last Thursday.   I haven't really talked about it b/c I'm still sad and angry about the whole situation (her passing was not entirely unexpected as she's been sick for the last few months...this is my maternal grandmother who lost her husband - my grandfather - last November and was not sick at the time of his death) and, at the time it happened, I was UNABLE to drive to St. Louis (I called my midwife and asked her if she'd be up for a road trip birth but she said no.) and be with the rest of my family AND UNABLE to produce a child from my insides.  Mostly, I spent a lot of time last weekend crying and talking to my midwives and walking (miles and miles people) and avoiding the world and the ever-present "are you still pregnant" question and trying to block out my own concerns and others regarding post-date babies. 

My grandmother's wake was Monday and I spent a long time being angry I wasn't there and knowing that everyone was asking excitedly about the baby that I had yet to produce.  Her funeral was Tuesday morning, mere hours after Nora Kate shot out.  I feel like, if anything, Nora was a bit of great news on a horribly sad day.  I'm still processing the fact that I wasn't there but I can't change it.   And, well, Nora is just gorgeous and it's hard not to be happy when you see this:

Hello from NK. 

So, what do you guys want to know?  

I DID get to watch my labor video and it was PERFECT.  We watched it almost immediately after she came out when the whole room (me, karl, nora kate, the midwives) needed to CALM THE HELL DOWN.   It took us ALL to a much calmer place and I can't thank you guys enough for sending in pictures and videos and sharing your sweet babies and thoughts with us.  It's set to music and amazing and I'm going to find a way to share it but I'm not sure how yet - all babies and mamas private parts are covered up and no babies are named but I am still going to password protect it for viewing.... and I'm going to add some video and photos at the end of NK's story.  I'll let you know details. 

What else?  

I'm recovering.   I'm still processing what happened.  It's going to take awhile (forever?).  I definitely feel more than a little bit like a freak of nature.  I keep remembering all the jokes we made about how this birth couldn't possibly go any faster than Nate's birth (ha bloody ha).   Poor Karl.   I can't stop hearing Karl saying... "You're fine.  I'm fine.  We've done this before.  Go ahead and push out the baby" as my legs were shaking and I'm hollering and praying the neighbors don't think someone is getting murdered at our house at 3 a.m.  (All the windows were open and the attic fan was on.)    Do you guys want to hear more?   I wish I had a recording of him on the phone with our midwife when he called her back to see where she was.  He said "It's happening again" in such a resigned voice.... like not really worried about the situation but just stating the facts.) 

What else? 

NK is nursing like a freaking champ and looking decidedly less jaundiced than Nate.   We haven't seen the pediatrician yet or filled out a birth certificate but there's time for all that.  We're too busy staring. 

nora kate by the number

Timeline:

11 p.m. Bed time, 41 weeks, 5 days pregnant and totally discouraged.  Appointment made for visit to Labor and Delivery at 42 weeks.  Appointment/assessment the day before.  Baby looked perfect.  I looked perfect.  (Vital-wise).  Blah.  No hope of baby emerging as I fell asleep.

1:58 a.m. Wake up.  MASSIVE contraction.  Party started.

2:03 a.m. Call to Kim (midwife): Come quick!

2:15 a.m. Nate wakes up to do his usual night crawl into our bed.  Karl tells him mommy's tummy is giving the baby hugs to get out the baby.  HAHA.

2:25 a.m. Mary Kay picks up Nate.

2:50 a.m.  Nora Kate rockets out of my body.  Literally.  All at once.  Head, shoulders, knees and toes.

Yeeeea.  So once my body decided, it was GO TIME.  (Karl did catch her and yes, we were in a bathroom and yes, I was standing again.)  

Stats:

8 lbs. 11 oz.
21.5 inches
Girl parts! (which we forgot to look at for a solid 10 minutes!)
Number of stitches: lets not talk about it.

Everyone is happy and healthy, will post some more pictures soon!

dearest friends and family

dearest friends and family,

http://haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com/ - clickity click.  

I will be one week late on Wednesday.  Nate was 10 days early.  This baby might be 10 days late.  These days are AMAZINGLY emotional.  I promise promise promise I will tell you (I definitely rank in The Overshare department, right?) when the baby comes out.  Thank you all for checking on us and loving us (I can't tell you how much we appreciate it) and apologies if we've been reclusive!  I have an appointment in thirty minutes!  

AND

Today is Karl's birthday!   What a good day for... uh.... a baby, right?  :)

radio silence

Oh.

Hey.

Been doing a lot of this (We call this Labor Hill):

But, alas, this morning... still pregnant:

Good thing the baby's bed is ready (Er...):

yep.

Last night was a night of multiple showers/baths and (relatively strong) contractions.

Sadly, I'm still pregnant this morning.

I'm patient but I'm getting close to the point of telling this child to:

Total miles walked this weekend: 6ish

Total spent napping: Ummmm..... lots.

I'll keep you posted!

he was wearing a red shirt today

One thing I love about school is the masterpieces that make their way into our home and onto our fridge.  

Like this guy - which judging by the, uh, blue eyes and blonde hair is, in fact, Nate.   

Perhaps his teachers are (subtly) telling us it's time for a trim? 

Or perhaps Nate is asking for us to stop stabbing him, um, everywhere?  

On an unrelated note, OFFICIALLY 38 weeks!!  Nate was born at 38 weeks, 4 days - think I could make the same happen this go round?  ;) 

If you still want to submit a photo for the labor video, please don't hesitate to send it.  Karl is just going to keep adding to it until I go into labor.  

the most embarrassing contribution photo there ever was

I need to tell you about a photo that I'm submitting (to my own) video.   It's affectionately dubbed the MOST EMBARRASSING PHOTO OF ALL TIME.   But there is an oh-so-ridiculous story behind it.  Wanna here it?  (No? Click away then.)  

FOR THOSE WHO DO: 

This is a photo taken almost immediately after Nate's birth.  I BEGGED Karl to take it.  BEGGED.  Why?  Because AT THAT TIME I felt like I looked absolutely INCREDIBLE.  Like DAMN I AM HOT incredible.   Like NO ONE IS AS GORGEOUS AS ME AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME incredible.  Like DON'T EVEN LOOK AT THAT NEWBORN IN THE BED OVER THERE BECAUSE DON'T I LOOK GOOD incredible.

If you've ever had a child evacuate your insides, well, you feel real empty on the inside.  It's completely bizarre sensation to have this big THING squashed up in there and then, suddenly, not.  For me, after Nate's birth I think that empty feeling equated with LOOK HOW SKINNY I AM NOW!  Hahahha.  I mean this was literally like an hour after birth.   I was so freaking high and amped on adrenaline and awesomeness (and w/ Nate's birth I was upright!  Walking around!  Feeling SUPER WOMAN GOOD!)  (Don't worry... about four hours later I felt like a truck had, in fact, steamrolled my entire body and could barely move.)  I really, truly thought I looked amazing.  (Hence the photo-begging.)  Plus, I had this blue swim suit cover up / night gown like thing that was all soft and stretchy and amazing and PART OF THE PLAN and I was going to labor in it and I didn't get to so I NEEDED Karl to take a photo of me in it.  CLEARLY.  

Want to see the photo?  

(You know I would not share this photo with just anyone, right?)  

(Wow.  It's going to be real hard to hit publish on this post.  This photo is atrocious.) 

Here are the questions I would like us to discuss: 

1. HOLY PALE.  Am I actually a ghost?  How much blood did I lose during birth?  Answer: A LOT. 

2. Why am I holding my hands that way?  Are my boobs leaking?  Do I have a bra on and, if not, is this my was of disguising that?  (YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE HILLS.) 

3.  Are we sure the baby is out?  Because I think I might still look a little pregs.  Or just perhaps pokeably soft(er than normal) around the midsection. 

4.  Do I actually have a black eye?  Two?  I look EXHAUSTED.  (But in my mind I remember feeling so good and awake and alive!) (Never mind that it was 3 in the morning and I had worked that whole day!)  

5.  WHY ARE THEY LETTING ME STAND UP?   (I'm sure I was told to just sit down already.... I do have many memories of people telling me to SIT STILL.) 

Sadly, this is one of the only post-birth photos I have.  I'm not advocating full on hair and makeup this time around but someone PLEASE handle the camera with more care and try to get a shot of me looking less, uh, dead.    

IN CONCLUSION, I am submitting this GEM to the video and want you to feel like you can submit whatever you so desire so send me your photos for the video!  I'm so pumped about it.  I haven't looked at a single thing anyone has sent but I couldn't resist peeking to see if ANYONE had sent ANYTHING and, shockingly, some of you have (and I love and appreciate you for it; I'm so excited to watch it!).  

Operation Keep the Baby In Until This Video is DONE

Remember how I was all "Operation Walk the Baby OUT" and I was going to walk everyday? Yea. Not so much. I am solidly (at least for another few weeks) on Team KEEP THE BABY IN. As mentioned, we've had several nights of relatively strong contractions and blah blah blah. Walking makes me have EVEN MORE contractions so I try to do as little of it as possible. (Well, as far as exercise walking goes anyway.) I feel a little dramatic about the whole thing but I would really like some more TIME (and I realize Newbaby could stay in there for plenty more time with or without me walking but I'm avoiding for the moment, k?).

I had my assessment with my OB (2 cm, 30% effaced for those concerned about the state of my CERVIX!) and we also had our home visit with our midwives this past week. I (finally) started to get really excited about the birth and the baby at the end! (ABOUT TIME, RIGHT?) With Nate, we had a baby pool going to guess his arrival date and the nursery was all done up and I basically had NO IDEA what was REALLY going to happen when that baby popped out. This time, I feel like I have a slightly better idea of how labor is going to feel and how Karl and I are going to feel when Newbaby arrives. ( Ish.) Regardless, I want to do something special to show how much love and care we've ALL put into him or her before the official OUTSIDE arrival!

As previously stated, Karl and I are of the "closed door" policy during labor and delivery and early newborn stage, but we still want to know that you all are supporting us. We talked a little in our birth class (warning: hippy-like earthmama statements ahead!) about ways to create support in your labor environment - some people had necklaces that friends had gifted beads to, some people wrote positive affirmations and posted them on their walls, some had labor music that helped, some people had nothing other than a GET THIS FUCKING THING OUT OF ME attitude.

I've been mulling over this idea of creating a video and I did some googling to see what was out there (don't do it; unless that works for you, in which case, google all the cheesy naked women and flowers and sunsets set to instramental music that your little heart desires!) Nope. Found nothing that would suit me. Because what I want is something positive but something funny. And I think you can help me with that. (You will, right?) I feel like I'm pretty realistic about the possibility of things changing (and changing quickly) during labor but, at this point, I am planning for a happy, healthy best case scenario and I feel like this is something that will make me feel both happy and healthy so go with it, okay?!)

Like I want the first photo in the video to be this (taken today):

(Apparently Nate and his golf club understand labor is SERIOUS business.)

And the next to be something like so:

I mean, really, that's what is happening, right? One way or another!

And somewhere in there I want a photo of Nate like so (just to remind me that there will be additional challenges of birthing a baby and parenting a three year old):
I even thought it would be funny to have a couple of gender photos like this to remind me to get excited to FINALLY find out: A bit cheeseball but fun, right?

So here's what I want from you (if you are up for it):

A photo (or two or three) that SOMEHOW indicates support in SOME FORM. (Specific, right?)

It could be a funny picture or a picture of you and your baby or child (or all your babies or your most recent baby w/ siblings) on the VERY FIRST DAY WITH YOU or their VERY FIRST HOUR ON EARTH. It could be a picture of you in labor or in the OR. It could be a picture of you with your sweet baby kitty or puppy.

Example: Nate: day 1, 2008

Or of you celebrating your niece or nephew or first cousin twice removed (what does that even MEAN?!) or just some random newborn baby off the street that you happened to be holding. Or perhaps a picture of you strapped up to a breast pump at 2 in the morning or an image of you removing your screaming, tantruming child from an event to remind me of the REAL FUN STUFF. (Dear childless friends intending to have childs, NONE OF THAT HAPPENS. Ever. I swear.)

See?


Or it could be a fancy Instagram filtered image with words of encouragement like so:

Or, really, whatever you want it to be.

This is how easy it is.

Step 1: Take out your iPhone or Crackberry or (gasp) a REGULAR camera.

Step 2: Take a photo of something FUNNY AND SUPPORTIVE. (Or rustle one up out of your photo archives as suggested above.)

Step 3: Email it to me.

Well, actually, I don't want to see any of them until I'm actually trying to get that baby out of me. So, if you would, email them to newbabyhills@gmail.com (Yes, my unborn child has its own email address - are you really that surprised!?) and Karl (surprise honey!) will put them into video form and we will attempt to watch between contractions or during them, or, perhaps, depending on labor not at all until the baby is actually on the outside! Either way, knowing I have them available is going to be amazing.

Additionally, as I'm officially 37 weeks on Wednesday and the doctor at my assessment said he would most likely NOT be seeing me again (he would see me at 40 weeks if I haven't had a baby), I'm going to try and make the video next Wednesday (September 7). (YOU HAVE A LONG HOLIDAY WEEKEND TO WORK ON THIS VERY INTENSE PROJECT!!!) That would put me at 38 weeks and, who knows, maybe I'll want to resume Operation Walk the Baby Out at that point?!?


Edited to add: In case you missed it, I'm submitting this GEM! 

Weekend Update w/ Kat Hills

Settle on in (Please and thank you.) because I'm about to give you an update AND, perhaps, ask for a pregnancy favor (Possibly in this post; possibly in another of it's own as I feel a plethora of words about to pour out of my fingertips).

Last week was perhaps one of the more difficult weeks of this pregnancy. Everything is fine and good and wonderful... Here's the skinny:

Karl update:

We had some illness floating around our house (and by 'some' I mean I think that this is the sickest I have EVER seen Karl; I even made him go to the doctor). I won't say a lot about it other than we are ALL still recovering and the combination of a massively pregnant woman, a semi-sick toddler and a very sick husband is not the best. We really tried to feel sympathy for one another. I think.

Household Appliance Update:

Our fridge completely and totally broke (it's such a piece; we've paid more in repairs than we paid for the fridge and it's only like 6 or 7 years old), so we bit the bullet and ordered a new one. (We lived out of coolers and on take out for a week or so... I think our final cooler had a gallon of milk, two sticks of butter and a bottle of probiotics floating around in some milky ice water... it was disgusting.) But HOORAY new and clean fridge (that did not, in fact, come with all its parts - ha!)!

Pregnancy Update:

I am still pregnant. It's been a harrowing couple of weeks. I've called my midwife SEVERAL times b/c of the massive number of contractions I've been having at night. (Same bat time, same bat channel. EVERY NIGHT.) There was one night in particular (that was before the homebirth okayed-36 week mark) that even Karl (who rarely freaks) was packing a bag for the hospital. The night was so EERILY similar to Nate's birth that we both sort of freaked. Mostly, I have anxiety about HOW LONG this labor will take. So, every night around 10 or 11 when the contractions start up, I dutifully do a hippy dippy scent and relaxation ritual that sort of works. They usually stop around 1 or 2 in the morning and are gone most of the day (well, sort of gone. They are just less painful and less frequent during the day. Overall, they are not CRAZY strong or painful but sometimes I get paranoid about my ability to judge.). I went into labor w/ Nate around 11 p.m. and had him around 2 a.m. - a little eerie, right?? Apparently, that's when my body feels best laboring. (And, oddly, as a night owl, often the time I am most 'awake' anyway.)

(ON A SIDE NOTE, for all of those jealous of our apparent quick labor luck - this build up stage BLOWS.)

Magical bath oils, massage oil and rescue remedy:

Anniversary Update:

Uh.... insert mushy gushy lovey dovey 6 year anniversary post here. We celebrated 6 years of marriage on Saturday. We intended to go out of town on the actual day but, the closer it got, the more paranoid I have been about being even an hour away from home! Instead, I worked (coordinating a TV spot for Little Rock Restaurant Month that included prepping and dressing Polly the Purple Cow for a Saturday morning show!) (Seriously, mascot dressing is a SKILL that I am adding to my resume.) and we went to a birthday party for some friends. FUTURE CELEBRATION plan is in place. Err... loosely anyway. (We had low expectations this year given the timing!)

Look at the these babies and their OFFICIAL piece of paper:


Labor Update:

I have this totally cheesy idea. That I'm sort of obsessed with at the moment. I sort of love it. I might think it's ridiculous in retrospect but if you make fun of me for having it at 37 weeks pregnant, I will punch you in the face. I want to create something like a video of encouraging words or images. Since Karl and I have been adamant about closed door laboring and closed door newborn time, we (I) want to make some sort of video to watch during labor with (you guessed it) ALL OF YOU (that want to participate) involved. I am writing another post entitled 'KEEP THE BABY IN' and will tell you how you can (hopefully you will want to) help! (It will be up tonight.)

awkward gray tank top photo #4,552

Taken just a few hours ago.

(Adjectives: Awkward, Pointy, Stickey Outey)

Proof that I have other clothing:

But, apparently, no other shoes.

And, uh, no face.

36 weeks.

I see the OB tomorrow and have my midwife home visit on Friday.

Watch out now.

i'm back to drinking and driving

So, I have YET ANOTHER confession to make: so much of my second baby worries revolve around my first baby.

I honestly feel like (at this point) I'm MORE worried about Nate's adjustment to the new baby than I am about, oh you know, my own or, Karl's or, let's say, THE NEW BABY (who will only be coming from a 98.6 degree deliciously dark, warm CAVE of COMFORT out into the bright, scary world).

One of my bigger concerns about birthing at home has been what to do with Nate while I'm in labor (particularly if the baby comes in the middle of the night). For the actual birth of Newbaby, many have offered to come get him and neither Karl nor myself want Nate to stick around - not because we think it will traumatize him or that he won't understand what is happening but because both of us want to be able to fully concentrate on the situation at hand. Plus I didn't want ANYTHING touching me last time so I can't imagine if Nate wanted me to hold him or distracted me in any way. Mama needs to FOCUS. Basically, I want him to magically disappear when I start laboring because I also don't want anyone else coming into the house to distract me while he leaves. (We're thinking just open the door at 2 a.m. and let him hang out on the front lawn until his ride gets there? No?) I'm sure I'm over thinking it but I feel like it is an important detail in the whole bubble-up plan. (Maybe I will laugh at it later but I'm sort of adamant about intentionally shutting everyone out for awhile!)

I'm sure it's mostly because I know how Nate acts and reacts and thinks and feels and eats and sleeps (and a host of other mundane details like which sippy cup he prefers and how to properly fulfill his ridiculous requests for JUST RIGHT waffle cuts to syrup ratios) (I know. I even rolled my own eyes.). We spend a lot of time talking about the baby and what he's going to help teach the baby (top answer: RUN. Of course. Something I want him to get started on as soon as possible). We've even picked up some hilarious literature:

But I'm pretty sure nothing is going to really prepare him (or any of us) for the shift until it happens. So, in the meantime, we are just enjoying the time we have left as a family of three (and the damn, currently shedding dogs!) and trying to remember all the wonderfully quirky and odd things about age 3. (Have I mention I freaking love age 3?! Cause I really, really do.)

Three means business. This kid wants to choose his clothes and put them on. He wants to walk beside the cart and/or a stroller (because GOD FORBID he enjoy being pushed around - I so wish he could push me... at least for the next few weeks!) He wants to do a lot of things himself, which, really is both adorable and amazing. And, only a little annoying when you're in even the slightest hurry.) The only thing he hates doing alone? SLEEPING. (Yea. I know. Newbaby will be up a lot. I'm a little panicked about it too.)

A few weeks ago, he requested Light Up Sketchers - specifically the brand Sketchers. Of the light up variety. We have no idea where he got either the brand or the request for light ups? (school?). Either way, they do exist! Since he's a little strange about clothing and footwear, I decided to indulge his request. We hit up Kohl's (Have I mentioned they have quite a bit of boys play clothing on the cheap at Kohl's - particularly of the plaid and khaki shorts variety; I think I've mentioned I'm anti-jean and cargo shorts for boys young and old!). We purchased the Light Up Sketchers and, for several days, he was OBSESSED with telling anyone and everyone who would listen about them.

He is also obsessed with country music. I KNOW. It's awful. For a while we listed to this CD he got from school (think Jesus, 'This Little Light of Mine' music), which was fine (though made me a little twitchy after the 3,000 time of I'M GONNA LET IT SHINE.). Until he heard a particular country song that he now requests basically every time we are in the car. He calls it "The Bottle Song" and the first line is "I'm back on the bottle..." which is about alcoholism and surely appropriate for a 3 year old. Here is a link. I PROMISE you only need to listen to the first 10 seconds. And you might hate me for even that!



Usually, after it's over, he asks me "You don't like that song, Mommy?" and I have to say I don't. Judge me as you will but there are no curse words and, really, other than the bleeding ears, I'm okay with it. Eh. It will phase out.

What else do you want to know? He starts school next week and goes to his new classroom - he and I are both beyond excited! He wants to be reunited with his friends and I look forward to taking some time to myself before the baby comes!

What else do you want to know?

scattered

Here's (some of) this week:

I showed up for my midwife's appointment on Wednesday. It was on Thursday. (Thankfully, they were able to see me.)

I washed a $5,000 check (yep) in the laundry. (Thankfully, they reissued it the next day.)

My boss emailed me a document and asked me to edit it at home. I did. And then sent her back her EXACT original and somehow deleted the TWO HOURS of modifications I had done. Highly unlike me. (Thankfully, we were able to recreate it. In a timely-ish manner.)

Nate's out of school until August 24th and the sitter situation is NOT going well. (Thankfully, my friend Erin is available to help us out next week and we can, um, not have this sitter come back. Ever. Again.)

Today I was furiously taking notes in a meeting and my friend (and co-worker) Meredith leaned over and highlighted a sentence I had scribbled:

(For the record STDs = save the dates and the Angels were actually referencing little girls dressed as angels as part of a promotion for a specific event.)

In other work related news, I do plan on returning to work after The Unnamed Child comes out. My boss wants me back; I want to come back. Working part time has provided me with a balance I need. Nate's school is solidly taken care of but we're not entirely sure of newbaby care, so, the how and the when and the details I am still working out.

ok guys it's a little tense around here

Remember how last post I was all: I love late pregnancy (puppies and rainbows and unicorns oh my)?

Yea.

That was then.

Before this morning when I sobbed hysterically for thirty minutes because of (wait for it) LAUNDRY. And not like laundry because I had to do it. Oh no. (Wait for it). Like laundry that Karl (trying to be helpful) was doing. (IN MY DEFENSE, in the same load he was attempting to wash our clothing with 10th grade boy basketball jerseys that had been sitting in his car SINCE JANUARY and some old towels. WHO DOES THAT?) Also I wasn't QUITE awake (because Karl was trying to be EVEN NICER and let me sleep in) as all this was happening - can I use sleepiness in defense of my insanity? I won't go into all the inane details, but, needless to say, it was completely irrational and I felt a little like a (very apologetic) Crazy Person after it was over. (And after I had rewashed our clothing, the jerseys and towels seperately. HA.)

You THERE? LAUNDRY? YOU ARE OFFENDING ME.

I guess the late pregnancy hormone crazy is hitting me a little harder than anticipated. Maybe the heat is amplifying it?

I think mostly I'm having this problem: I don't really want to go anywhere. I want to be home. In my house. Getting it ready for the baby. CUE NESTING INSTINCT! The problem: DOING THINGS for more than five minutes is sort of exhausting for me at the moment. PLUS, well, being in your house all the time means you get it dirty with the everyday and that's driving me insane. (And I fully admit that I live with two OCD boys who put things back in their place; it is ME who leaves sunglasses in the fridge and books in the couch cushions and water cups on the nightstands.)

Plus, I've still been contracting like crazy (actually it's better this weekend but this week with The Heat and The Busy were BAD.). They are relatively mild but a few have been waking me up at night. I've had several discussions with (all of my) pregnancy caregivers. None of us are WORRIED ABOUT IT (Karl and myself included) but we all are keeping an eye on it. (Homebirths are not allowed until after 36 weeks and a risk assessment from the OB.)

My midwife did recommend timing them if they start wrapping (like around my back) and becoming patterned so I did download the Contraction Master app for my iPhone. We used the website when I was in labor with Nate in an attempt to time contractions - Karl sat on the bed with the laptop open and slammed down the space bar every time I said "start" or "stop" (which was frequently since my pattern was never regular and my labor so fast; man I still wish I had that data!). Now they have a schmancy iPhone app and I can press that little pink button all on my own if I want.

(And, on this note, I would like to say that none of this means we expect the baby to come early and/or as quickly). I still feel like I'm going to make it to my due date and/or beyond.)

The belly grows; the infamous gray tank top stretches:

32 weeks, 4 days

Pregnancy is not the ONLY thing going on right now (FOR REAL) but every time I sit down to write it consumes my brain and the words fly out through my fingers.

Here are some upcoming post goodness I intend to write (or am currently working on) for this week (ish):

Onsie-making

Girls Trip to Branson

Update on Work

Nater Tater Tot-isms post