the secret life of the american, um, thirty year old

I have to tell you something.

I'm pregnant.

Yep.

15 weeks.

I couldn't bring myself to share it before now. I wanted to. I thought about it. But I couldn't.

Partly because it was a huge surprise and I'm SO not good with surprises (so, so not good). Partly because I've been violently ill (Okay, violently might be a bit strong but there has been a lot of vomit spewing at my house.) (You're welcome for the usage of the word SPEW!). Partly because I'm embarrassed to be starting this pregnancy 20 pounds heavier and FAR less in shape from where I started with Nate. Partly because I've been having trouble eating right and exercising because I'm nervous about being pregnant again and I just feel all around bad and only want things like, say, Sonic fried mozzarella sticks. Partly because I've already been having some blood pressure and heart rate issues and, well, I NEVER had to deal with that with Nate's pregnancy and it's scary (Cue: CUT THE MOZZARELLA STICKS!) and high bp would possibly prevent me from giving birth at home (which is currently the plan; but the plan is open and I've been seeing my midwife and my OB). Partly because I've been obsessively watching the Secret Life of the American Teenager (Don't do it. It's awful.) and other terrible, trashy and awful television in an effort to NOT THINK ABOUT IT.

But, seriously, none of these things are COMPLAINTS just worries and anxieties that I'm coping with. In fact, I want YOU to GET EXCITED because I'm (and Karl as well) really and truly ecstatic to be preparing for another little one. I can't WAIT for a new little personality to join our home (Please God more laid back like Karl this time, yes?). Yes, it was unexpected but we're rolling with it. I mean, some days I still wonder exactly how I accidentally got pregnant at 30 years old but I'm (mostly) over that now. (Karl has already given me the 'it only takes one time' speech several times.)

I guess, after my miscarriage in June, I just thought maybe we'd wait waaaaaaay longer or that I would be perfectly happy with Nate being an only child. My due date for the pregnancy I miscarried was January 23. I found out I was pregnant this time around January 15. Fitting, yes?

Honestly, I'm feeling like a Real Live Human again and I have some truly hilarious pregnancy stories and tidbits to share with you (#1 being how I realized I might be pregnant) but, for now, I just wanted to LET THE SECRET OUT.

14 weeks, 5 days

the impossible

Things I can do: Birth a baby standing up in my bathroom.

Things I can not do: Remove a teensy dead fish from a fish tank while my husband is out of town.

I KNOW: Why DO we have fish KARL?!?!

frolicking amongst the flowers

We hit up the Wye Mountain Daffodil Festival this morning. The festival spans 7 acres of gorgeous flowers and is sort of a staple of springtime here in Central Arkansas for parents with little ones. My friend Jaime wrote this lovely piece about family and the festival for a campaign I'm working on at work.

We got some lovely shots ourselves this morning:

The elusive family shot:


And to show you the springtime Nate progression:

Outtake:
Jesus mary and joseph, I swear I've never been so excited for Springtime!

the orange and green

You all.

It's almost St. Patrick's Day, which (as you know) is one of my favorite days.

THAT IS WHY (clearly) I am up at 10 p.m. making (oddly shaded) green cookies in an (flour covered) orange shirt for Nate's school party. LOOKIN GOOD, yes?

Tomorrow, my friends, we will roll them out and cut them into little shamrocks and, um, chase all the snakes out of - wait, what is this holiday for again? Beer drinking, right?

The Time Suck of Sick

Day that Nate's fever started: Saturday.

Day it is now: Friday.

Days Nate has gone to school this week: zero.
(Fever stopped Thursday AM but they have to be fever free for 24 hours to go to school.)

Number of trips to After Hours Clinic: 1.

Number of phone calls to pedi: 3.

Doses of alternating Tylenol and motrin: way too many.

Movies watched: way too many. I want to throw the TV out the window.

Hours spent sleeping upright in a chair with a hot and sweaty toddler: way too many.

Hours I went to work at my actual office this week: (embarrassingly) 6. My boss is amazing. Also, I am very behind.

Rooms in my house cleaned: zero (unless you count the thousands of germ-eradicating swipes of door knobs and remotes).

Grocery store trips: zero. Looks like we are eating out all weekend!!

Final diagnosis: something viral, not the flu.... Nobody knows! Fever virus!

Total time suck: one week. What did I miss?!?

is your future really that bright? IS IT!?!?

(Warning: Old lady style ranting ahead.)

So, a few weeks ago Nate told me that it was bright out and he needed sunglasses. He, my child who hates hats, gloves, most coats and any and all accessories) wanted some shades so we (I) made a bigger deal than I probably should have about it and hit the Target to find some Diego lenses to suit his needs. (Seriously, the styles of kids sunglasses without characters on them - severely lacking.)

I was thrilled to buy them and laughed every time he told me it was too bright and that he needed to wear them (and obligingly helped him find them and put them on). All was well and good UNTIL I tried to photograph him with them on and remembered how much I DESPISE sunglasses in photographs. DESPISE.

See? It just doesn't look as cute:
See? (Insert: I CAN see your pretty eyeballs rumblings here.) This has been a recurring pet peeve of mine and this will be one of my more, um, eccentric blog posts.

Exhibit A:

My baby shower (circa 2008). Aren't we all so pretty? IF ONLY I COULD SEE YOUR EYES SO I CAN REMEMBER YOUR PRETTY FACE IN 30 YEARS (when, all your faces will clearly still be pretty but maybe not exactly the same and I'll be all faulty in memory and "IS THAT SUSAN? I CAN'T BE SURE.) (Disregard the name tag that says "Susan").Exhibit B:

Blogger lunch at Ya Ya's bistro, summer 2010. (Granted, the sun was quite scorch-ey that day and Kerri (down in front) may have actually been blinded had she not had sunglasses on in this photo. )

BUT STILL.

(Related: WHAT AM I POINTING AT? Perhaps people without sunglasses?)

Photo Courtesy of I Am Bossy, our blogger guest of honor

Exhibit C (and my personal favorite):

I was newly pregs and crazy hormonal at my friend Jenny's wedding in Mexico. Jenny asked us to do a reading during the service. Karl showed up NOT in the brown shirt (that I picked out and matched the wedding color scheme) and with his sunglasses on. All I can remember (and that's terrible because I am sure the reading was beautiful and meaningful and carefully selected) throughout the whole reading is thinking.... "I wonder how rude it would be if I just not-so gently ripped them off his face RIGHT NOW" (For the record, I did not and he is forever recorded in Jenny's wedding memories eyeball-less.)
In conclusion, you should take two things away from this post:

1. I am (officially) crazy.

2. You should be wary of protecting your eyes from harmful, damaging sun rays when I'm wielding a camera.

pen-gwwwwines

Little Rock friends, IT IS TRUE.

The penguins are here.

We got a sneak peak at the Zoo last week w/ some lovely blogger friends.

Nate's all "WHERE? WHAT PENGUINS? I WANT TO RIDE THE DAMN TRAIN."

Ahhhh... there they are! And this kind brays - like donkeys. (Who knew?)
RUN!!!!
It's hard to tell from the picture but Nate was quite sure the penguins MIGHT actually come through the glass. Mostly, he enjoyed chasing around the other eight or nine kiddos (who were actually chasing the penguins).

Good day.

notes from the potty training files: PREPARE TO VOMIT

Seriously BEWARE: brief poop talk ahead! (Don't forget to CLICK AWAY if it disgusts you. Which it might. But, really, after all these years, if we can't talk about bodily functions then WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS ARE WE?)

So, it's official - this house is (finally) diaper free. I thought the day would (seriously) never come but over our snow-day lockdown we cranked the heat up to like 75 (ok, that was more for me) and let Nate run around mostly naked for three days and, well, since then there has been much peeing and praise (and the occasional chocolate bribery) and all the normal potty training hoopla.

Having a bowel movement? MUCH MORE DIFFICULT. He will hold it for several days and then seem slightly surprised when it happens. I know he knows when he has to go b/c he asks to sit down (he prefers to pee standing up. which is actually slightly hilarious to watch on the regular toilet since he is. aren't you glad i shared that detail with you?). Last week he went (poop. yep. I said it. SORRY.) and the following conversation ensued:

Nate (gripping on to my arms for dear life as he sits on the toilet and peering between his legs): What is that Mommy?

Me: Well, buddy, that's your poop.

Nate: It not a rock, Mommy? It poop?

Me: Not a rock.

Nate: What is poop, Mommy?

Me: (HA.) Well, it's when your body eliminates all the food you put in your tummy. (Um... technical definition there. Good enough, right?)

Nate (proudly): MY POOP IS CHICKEN AND WAFFLES, MOMMY.

NOW AREN'T YOU SAD I DIDN'T DELETE MY BLOG?

snapping out of it

I'm trying, I'm trying. I've been debating (for the first time in 5 plus years of blogging) of hitting the big DELETE THIS BLOG button. But I'm going to attempt to POWER THROUGH all marathon-like and keep my lovely little family stories going for my PERMANENT RECORD. If it doesn't start working soon, I'll know it's TIME.

So, on that note, here is a completely random-ass post.

I am trying to remember things LONG, LONG ago before the February Funk set it. Sometime in January, I submitted a sketch book to The SketchBook Project.

Photo Source

I'm not really a big SKETCHER but this sounded fun. Basically you buy a sketchbook (everyone receives the same size moleskin sketchbook through the arthouse co-op site), you receive (or choose from a list) a theme and then GO! Sketch away. You can use any medium you so choose. Then you post-mark it, they receive and catalog it and TAKE IT ON TOUR. Each book has its own bar code so every time an individual "checks out" my book, I receive an email telling me so. Pretty sweet, right? There are 28,838 participants this year (ranging from 2 year olds to stay at home mamas to professional artists).

My theme (which is somewhat hilarious given my mood as of late) was HAPPY THINGS!

Here are a few of my pages. (Keep in mind = not an arteeeeest but A CREATIVE. HA. Yep. I'm a Creative. Capital C, yo.)

Here's my silly little cover (It's good to be reminded of The Happy.):

And some of my pages:

(Please note the wash cloth and mitten in the first photo. CLEARLY a well thought-out, creative photography shot. (I apparently can't do multiple creative things at once.))

Love Bench in downtown Little Rock:

Old pregnancy photo (Don't look too closely; one of my feet is MISSING.)
One final amazing picture:

The books start in Brooklyn and travel across the US. (Portland, DC, Atlanta, Austin, San Fran and (ending in June) in Seattle.

Photo Source

My book is in there somewhere!

HAPPY, RIGHT?

blank blank blankity blank blank blank

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it, right?

i'm meeeeelttting, meeeeellllllting

Ok, I'm not melting but the snow is. And thank baby jesus god mary joseph and all the saints in heaven. (Too much?)

We are OVER IT. (And yes I realize what a PANS I sound like.)

School and work have been out since Wednesday morning (IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT) and we've been home bound and I can't take it anymore. It's pretty much gone and not a single minute of our days tomorrow is unplanned. (PEOPLE. I NEED PEOPLE.)

Though we DID manage to eek some final moments of enjoyment out of the cold and will be whining about the heat in no time I am sure. (That was my lead in to the plethora of photos - lame I know but PHOTOS = yea, right?)

We did a little sledding redneck pool toy style:

The $2 intertube was the most popular (and the fastest) until we ran into a tree (Alright it was a shrub that was NEXT TO a tree, but a tree just sounds so much more dramatic.) and popped it.

And then while Nate napped (hooray!) we had some adult snow time and made the perfect snowman, a vast improvement over our last attempt as far as Obtaining the Perfect Snowman goes.

Partly this is because my OCD husband was helping to sculpt the balls (ahem), partly because this snow was PERFECT for snowman-makin', and partly because Nate was napping and none of the neighborkids were helping this go round.

ALSO we had a little help from my mother-in-law, keeper of EVERYTHING USEFUL. (Seriously, one time I told her we were having a fiesta-themed party and she ran to her storage room to get her stash of perfectly-worn and amazing mexican blankets... which (clearly) were the perfect touch to the party!) (Also that sled with the steering wheel that all the kids went gaga over? From her.)

ANYWAY, she provided us with THIS:

Which had very USEFUL instructions such as these:

(In case you are unfamiliar with The Snow Man.)

Whilst we built we also found the perfect beer holders (his and hers?):

And I took pictures (seriously like 7) of Nate's boots. (Are they for girls? Are they for boys? Who knows but I love them anyway.) He's been wearing them around the house for days with his undies and a t-shirt, which for some reason is the picture of toddlerhood to me and makes me indescribably happy.)

In CONCLUSION, this snowman was way too perfect that we just wanted to destroy him:

(We didn't but glorious Mr. SUN did today!)

oh rexy you so sexy

We accidentally stole a dinosaur from the hairdresser.

Somehow, we wound up celebrating the dino's birthday at dinner (please note the delicious cake).

He got his own piece of pizza as well.
JEALOUS of our stellar parenting skills?

snow day in the south

Hmmmmmmmmmmm........

(Though please note I did take this picture through the window because it's, uh, cold.)

(Edited to add: around 11 the grass has some sticking! I shall update you with an after shot this evening?)

if I were DOING IT RIGHT this is what I would have said

Last Thursday:

Karl's basketball kiddos went into double overtime at Karl's basketball game. DOUBLE OVERTIME. Nate thinks going to Karl's games is akin to going to Disney World (BASKETBALL! BIG KIDS!) but this was a little long for him. I let him build up his immune system by rolling around on the floor and climbing up and down the nasty bleachers. (Yep, I'm that mom. The best part is Karl coaches our pediatirician's son so she and I sit together at all the games. It's DOCTOR APPROVED germ-rolling people!)

Oh and they did win the game! My heart almost exploded from my chest four times.

Last Friday:

I cooked all day for dinner under the Broadway Bridge with our homeless friends. We had a great turnout and (seriously) just enough Italian food to feed everyone. My friend Erin and her husband joined us this month and Erin (who is an Animal Lover) wanted to bring some individually wrapped bags of dog food. I'm not going to lie y'all, I seriously doubted that any one would take it. I know there are some homeless with dogs but we haven't encountered any animals during our events. BUT Erin asked around and (seriously) the second person she talked to acted as a Dog Food Coordinator w/ one of the local non-profits to help distribute dog food around the city! How cool is that? She definitely made his night (and mine too)!

On Saturday:

We celebrated my friend Leah turning 30 with Mexican food on a patio (helllllo patio weather GET HERE and STAY HERE), some board games and a Wii dance party. Since a lot of our group is turning the big 3-0 this year, it has been fun to make a bigger deal than normal for everyone's birthday.

Last weekend, at a joint 30th party for my friends Kristen and Elizabeth The Cops even made an appearance (at the ripe ole hour of 10:30). Having the police show up kinda made us feel 22 again. HA. It was the joke of the evening anyway. Especially since everyone was winding down around midnight!

We have another great week planned this week and TOMORROW BEGINS THE DREADED FEBRUARY so I'll keep you posted!

i'll convert you i promise

First, thank you for your book suggestions.

Last night was my turn to host and it was Book Club #18! EIGHT-TEEN.

That, my friends, is dedication.

We decided to make a list of books and their selectors.

I highly suggest joining (or starting!) a book club. (I was anti-bookclub from the start and have since been 100% fully CONVERTED.)

hibernation continuation

Hibernation continues in all it's January glorious-ness.

I have (as of this moment) declared this winter the Winter of Reading. I need suggestions. STAT.

I am currently reading some Stephen King (Lisey's Story). I haven't read a good Stephen King novel since I was, oh, 12? 13? (My parents were very generous with their library!)

Next week is my book club selection - Room by an Irish author, Emma Donoghue - I HIGHLY recommend. (In fair warning, it is about sex slavery.)

ANYWAY, YOU THERE (tall girl. beverly.) I need your reading list. Share?

radio silence: beep beep boop

We've been quiet.

empty-socket snowman eyeholes ARE creepy right?

Well, I know you all were wondering (desperately) what Nate thought of all the (five whole inches of!) snow. The only thing Nate has said regarding the HOURS of snow play (when questioned by teachers and grandparents and even complete strangers): "The snowman eyes fall off. He no hurt you." (Said very solemnly.)

Lawd, I have scarred my child from snowpeople for life!

His little imagination has been working OVERTIME lately and he often pretends that his fingers are characters from Toy Story (Jesse, Bullseye, Woody and occasionally Buzz Lightyear to be specific) and that we need to nibble them. ('Eat Buzz Whightyear Mommy?' he asks.) (And I totally do.)

This afternoon he stopped playing suddenly and said "Mommy, catch the hamburger from the sky!" and then proceeded to pretend to catch and eat it, complete with mustard and onions (or so he claimed).

I would LOVE to be inside that little head for just FIVE MINUTES!

I have a grand post in the works... perhaps tomorrow? Karl started his volunteer basketball coaching gig (5th year!) and the hours he spends at the gym seem MUCH longer now that Nate is older and asks "Where Daddy?" every 30 seconds.

I leave you with this rare family pic (I guess we like orange, eh?) (Also, I swear I had gloves on and a coat at some point) (Also how cool do the TREES look in the backyard?):

we FREAK when there's SNOW in the south.

So, it snowed here in the good old L of R. For us, that means EVERYTHING is closed. And, usually, it doesn't actually accumulate on the ground and I have the pleasure of making fun of everyone for freaking out! But this year, THIS YEAR was different. The flakes started puny (as per the norm) but they kept POURING out and we wound up with about five(ish) inches. And, amazingly, it was fluffy and white and some of it is still sticking around. (School and work are also canceled for the 2nd day. I'll tell you how I feel about that this afternoon when I've been cooped in the house for over 48 hours with an overly-energetic 2 year old.)

Like any good Southerners, we donned our shoddy snow gear and headed out! It must be noted that Nate wore boots (for the first time ever), gloves (for the first time this winter) AND a hat (for the first time since infancy) with little complaint. I think he was so flabbergasted by the snow and our excitement that he was willing to do whatever to get close to it.

Though the hat did take some convincing...
Hooray! All the neighborhood kiddos were out by no later than 8:30 in the AM, in our yard and banging on our door. They know that Karl and I are secretly children as well and will play with them. Sleeping in on REAL snow days is for the birds! Let the snowball wars BEGIN:
And the sledding:
None of the kids were into the idea of a snowman until his body started to gain some heftiness. Then the ALL wanted IN.

And the snowman-making (most of the neighbor kids; missing two or three):
AND BREAK for Hot Chocolate:
And thus concludes my SNOW DAY post that may seem perfectly normal to the rest of the country but was NOT NORMAL for us and, therefore, special.

Ok, snow, you can go now.

it IS actually elvis' birthday

I'm working media services this weekend at an event called the Auto Extr@vag@nza.

For the past two hours, I've been dealing with THIS:

My ears, they are a bleeding. So Loud.

And I would be remiss if I did not show you this, The Gold Digger. It has real bars of gold in both the engine and the steering column.

And yes, we have been singing Kanye West all weekend. NOW YOU CAN TOO.

You're WELCOME!