the comfort of the kitchen

when we first looked at our house (four long years ago!) i was immediately impressed by the BIG KITCHEN. It always seems like people end up in the kitchen. karl and i entertain quite a bit so we spend some time in it. it's the one thing we have completely redone in our house. (i would recommend timing housing remodels better than this.)

anyway, when my parents were in town for nate's birthday weekend, we were in the kitchen a lot...you know, making dirt cake and cutting fruits and veggies. i had been telling karl i wanted to put this couch in there for a week or so... and then i did. by myself. (thankyouverymuch!) (karl was at work.)

i have to tell you - this couch (that we bought at urban outfitters 2 or so years ago) has gotten more use in it's two weeks of living in the kitchen than the entire time we have owned it. it took me a few days to truly love it. but then it became not only a couch but also a laundry sorting station, hub for plugging things in to charge, and oh so much more....

teeth: small whitish structures found in the jaws

so i know i just posted about time flying by but today TODAY was slow. very, very slow. at 2:20 p.m. i felt like DAYS and WEEKS and MONTHS had passed. nate has gotten up at 5:30 in the AM the last two days and has refused to nap like a normal baby. seriously, sometimes i believe he can function on less sleep than me. he is sleeping around 10 hours at night (sorry new mommies) (and shut the H up 12 hour sleeper mommies) so i can't complain too much but this napping business is getting ridiculous. no one year old can function a full day on a single 45 minute nap. he is drooling like crazy and won't let me too far away from him (unless of course he is making another Great Escape... you know to attempt some playtime in the toilet or to speed toward anything breakable or the dog food)...so i think there may be some new teeth on the way.

we took three walks today. three. maybe this "phase" is good for my waistline.

in honor of teeth... which seriously have to be the strangest part of being a human...i would like to post a video. please note: i just don't understand TEETH. you don't have them! now you do! (and they hurt like hell to break through) no, now, no, wait there they go (insert tooth under pillow... don't get me started on the tooth fairy - what is that? who invented that?) wait, here they come again! (insert thousands of dollars spent on dental insurance and dental work and braces and teeth cleaning products forevermore)... oh but then...wait, wait, there they go again! (insert dentures.) (do they fall out one by one?) (do you think karl will put money under my pillow when i am an old half-toothed lady?)

ANYWAY, here!

self-indulgent sunday

another week begins...

things on my mind this sunday (well, things on my mind right now anyway):

1. i am REALLY sore from the slip and slide. particularly in the abdomen area. sliding headfirst down a tarp covered in dish soap and water may not be an appropriate activity for a 28 year old.

2. my mom arms are kind of hot.

3. my mom belly is not.

4. i hate flossing my teeth. it feels like such a burden. (my life is rough.)

5. i wish i had some sunflower seeds. and a coke.

6. i am excited about the upcoming MLB all star game.

7. i wish i had corn dip left over from the party yesterday. and a coke.

8. maybe i will take my morning walk up to a jog tomorrow. (ha.)

9. i am going to restart my 30 day shred (with jillian micheals!) that i did for 9 days and then discontinued (never making it past level one.)

10. clearly as i am writing these little tidbits i am both STARVING and feeling guilty about eating this late and needing to work it off.

11. i am really self-involved this sunday evening as only one of these items (#6) was not about ME. sorry.

(let's go National League!)

firecracker firecraker boom boom BOOM!

it's july.

say it again, with me this time, IT'S JULY!

now put the brown paper bag over your mouth and continue hyperventilating.

i can not wrap my mind around the fact that i haven't worked since May, what, 3rd... sometime in the first week of may? that is TWO months. TWO MONTHS of unemployment. by choice. I have not NOT worked since i was 15 and a half. i started in the catering business before i could even drive legally. the summer karl and i met (whilst in college)? he drank margaritas by the pool all day and worked on his tan and running up his credit card debt; i had two jobs (one full time 8-5 office job and one hostessing job at a restaurant three nights a week). i think i slept a total of 12 hours that entire summer. seriously. unemployment is not in my bones.

i am still struggling with this new stay at home identity. mostly, i love it with my whole heart and if i think too much about how much work karl does to make it possible i get a little emotional about the whole thing (and i do admit to still feeling a little guilt for not contributing in a monetary kind of way at the moment.). i also somedays freak out that i won't be able to find a job when i am ready to go back - part time or otherwise.

but i am making the most of it and trying desperately to enjoy these fleeting baby moments. last week we went to story hour at the library, free movies at our local theater, the pool, playtime in the park.... next week we are doing some more swimming and a puppet show... it is definately more difficult than i anticipated to simply GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. somedays i have to force myself to do it. it makes for a happier mama and a happier child. (i am not a homebody; i like PEOPLE AND PLACES, but not, um, spending money.) i won't tell you my child is an angel as that would be a lie. somedays i just want him to nap an extra hour... hell, an extra minute. he can be whiney and clingy and he tries to kiss/eat the dogs every five minutes (we PET the dogs, PET the dogs. no, don't pull on his face.) (the dogs have taken to running away and holeing up in the bedroom.) this whole thing - this whole forming and influencing and teaching another person is completely bizarre.

somedays i can not wrap my mind around the fact that i have a one year old.

today, for the fourth of july we are truly celebrating like a hallmark card (hot dogs on the grill, watermelon, a slip n slide and sprinkler, brownies, and some sparklers!) (oh, and, maybe some budweiser product... though arguably not quite as american of a beer as it used to be.) appropriately, our neighbors kids will be here with their fireworks - they think we are the COOLEST to hang around. i anticipate an entertaining and happy evening.

i can not wrap my mind around the fact that 2009 is more than halfway over. i know people say that time goes faster the older you get but i have never been more aware (or unaware?) of that FACT as this year.

really, how did it get to be july?

height and weight - get your comparison calculator out please

nate had his one year doctor appointment today. he had a lot of shots. i have never been bothered by the giving of the shots. and he does not appear to be either. it's just a needle (or four). stick, cry, kiss, stop. (though holding him down does suck. it took the two of us this time.) (how sweet is it that karl comes to all his shot appointments?) He is 31 and 1/4 inches tall. officially more than half of me (er, height wise only. cause weight-wise... that would be weird as he weighs, uh, almost 22 pounds. me at 44 pounds = not alive.) so, yea, he's tall and skinny. i'm guessing most of us knew that by now.

so far he has proved to be a healthy little thing. let's hope it stays that way. he has only been to the doctor (outside of well visits) maybe 3 or 4 times and only prescribed antibiotics twice. (and only taken them once and even then i am not convinced they were completely necessary as the side effects appeared to outweigh the benefits (read: much pooping ensued.) (like on the floor.) (don't tell but we didn't finish the full round as recommended.) he did have quite a few minor colds/fevers when he started daycare and one or two vomit viruses, but nothing that time or a little baby tylenol or ibp couldn't fix. i do love our pediatric practice b/c they don't immediately jump to antiobiotics and they always give us the choice if we want to administer them. (proving again that is how minor his illnesses have been.) honestly the crap he brought home from daycare wiped me out way worse than him.

anyway, i hope his lack of sickies now doesn't mean he is destined to be a sickly toddler or adult... maybe he can just BE healthy his whole life. like always. and forever. sigh. a mother can dream.

the birthday is over

nate got wonderful books, books, books for his worm party.

we are all to exhausted to function this evening.

is 6:18 too early to crawl into bed?

don't judge

this isn't the most aesthetically or spatially pleasing arrangement (and the photo of the photos makes it even worse!) BUT, well, we just decided to have a Nate party last week and several people are coming in town and the photos are from the 80s and blah blah blah... excuses... excuses... i care not. i am sharing it anyway. (click on image to look a little closer!)

point is: he is such a great combo baby. everyone always says he looks just like karl but i don't believe it's entirely true.

we have been singing happy birthday all day. i think he gets it. errrrr.

Bookworm Baby

Nate's first bday card came early this week - all the way from Singapore!

Tomorrow is his day of birth.

this time last year:

• both karl and i worked a full day, walking to and from my car (used to park relatively far from my office... maybe 1/2 mile round trip?)

• ate magic labor pizza for a coworkers bday lunch and walked to a shop next to the restaurant (had to sit down in said shop b/c i was having, um, troubles walking...heat...ankles...ugh)

• laid in backseat in car on way back to office

• took nap at work in kiddie playroom on a bean bag for an hour or so (must have been an attractive sight) (resting up without realizing it!)
  

• around 7 or 8 shoved my fat ankles into some tennie rubbers and walked a mile or two with karl (had to stop once on the uphill b/c of my braxtons... had a lot of those throughout whole third trimester so thought nothing of a semi-strong one on the uphill in the heat)

• laid down to sleep around 11:45. oh, shit. that one hurt. (i knew it was happening that night with that very first contraction.) (it was STRONG.)
  

well, you know the rest... i like looking back on that day b/c there were a lot of signs i just COMPLETELY IGNORED. but, i mean, everyday in the final weeks is like that and i was trying hard not to get my hopes up. (not many first babys come ten days early.)

and i remember vividly the first thought that popped into my head when he slid out - "he's HUGE!" (and something along the lines of "how was THAT inside of me?") i also vividly remember his arms and legs POPPING out from their little womb ball as karl caught him. BAM! tee hee. awesome.



thanks for listening. i will post a couple pics tomorrow!

if you are in LR and want to attend Nate's birthday party (and preferably i know you) please email me for details.

nuggets of internet goodness

so, yea, i am feeling like busting out some fun things i have found on the internet as of late.

#1. this is the funniest thing i have seen in awhile. i found this post via the succulent wife. there are additional sarah haskins skits at that link. they are all pretty funny but this one struck me. women and how they are portrayed in ads is fascinating (and often hilarious.)

#2. this with Taylor Swift and T-pain. (via MamaPop). It makes me hap-hap-happy. (you don't want to fight me / in my extra small white T)

#3. These amazingly hilarious wedding invites. (found via kirtsy.com).

a (mostly) pictorial vaca post

here are several dominican republic pics. honesty, i didn't shoot that many images! when all you need is a bracelet to get food and drink, it seems CUMBERSOME to carry things like the camera. (i know, life is hard. like that.) also, karl insisted that we have an underwater camera which was highly entertaining since he won't open his eyes underwater so i have about 30 pictures of him drifting in and out of the frame, sunglasses on or all squinched up. i mean, really, who doesn't open their eyes underwater? i even open them up in the ocean - contacts and all. am i the oddity? (probably. when am i not?)

the sad and the happy of traveling sans baby

so before i post vacation pictures, i want to throw this out there: we left nate for 7 days. SEVEN. in STL. that is a long time. especially since we had only left him on overnights maybe three or four times ever - and one night only!

basically, i drove to St. Louis a few days before we left, tried to get him acclimated as best as possible, and then took off. (yea. i left while he was sleeping. i am a coward!) i drove home wednesday afternoon and was at the airport by 4:30 am Thursday morning headed for the Dominican Republic (via Charlotte NC).

Mostly he stayed with my lovely cousin bridget and her husband and their three babies and also with my parents. initially we were going to leave Nate in Little Rock with friends and family, but the logistics were getting out of control (not to mention that the packnplay, stroller, foodseat, diapers, food, carseat, um, clothes... basically all the STUFF were becoming a nightmare of lists, packing, stress, etc. nate doesn't even have that much stuff but he does need a place to sleep, food to eat, and a carseat. (which most of our friends do not have. not that easy to cart around town.) i swear i almost threw up every day from mid to late may thinking about it. i (alternately) wanted to call off the vacation, bring Nate along with us, sell our tickets on the interwebs, or bring him and a nanny along (ha. ha. ha.) (i don't know how karl didn't murder me during this period of time).

about a week before we left... stress...sleeplessness...lack of birthday party planning... the STL arrangements were made. i may have cried with relief. it was definately the best decision. we are both very, very thankful the way it turned out. nate had a great time with his cousins and got to visit with A LOT of the STL crew. it was a bit bittersweet for me. i wanted to be there. i wanted to watch him with the other kiddos and in new environements. (though he probably would have acted differently with me around. he is a bit of a cling on right now.)

on the trip, i wanted him with me and i wanted to see him in the ocean and playing in the sand. every baby i saw (there were a surprising number!) gave me a little ache. BUT i knew we was in amazing hands. we had a great time without him. as i mentioned previously, i slept. a lot. in the hotel room. on the beach. by the pool. (um, nate isn't that wonderful of a sleeper as a general rule.) (plus, you just get used to sleeping so light with a little one. i swear i wake up if that child so much as breathes weird.)

we called everynight. and MAYBE everyday. and maybe, there was one day i called a third time. (thanks to good ole skype!) and MAYBE i exchanged a few emails here and there. and I might have twittered. and the one blog post. karl and i tried to keep it light with our technology on the trip - one computer each, one iPhone each, and one camera. (what? that's keeping it light i swear! no video camera, no eBook reader, the camera was point and shoot, no ipod, no garmin, only two computers (one of which was karl's stupid dell mini that i hate.) (mostly b/c he bought it without consulting me.) (and in black - there were color options karl hills.) (wow. we have too much crap.)

ANYWAY, the point is - i STILL feel bipolar about the whole vaca sans baby thing. we had a fabulous time and so did Nate. I don't feel guilty about leaving him. i enjoyed late dinners and drinks and dancing...er, watching other people dance. and snorkeling and sailing. and sleeping. and showering in peace. and peeing with the door closed. (too much info?) and being with our friends. (too many sentence frags?) Nate looked different when Dad met me halfway for the great baby exchange! (yea. my dad ROCKS. he cut my 12 hours to 6.) Nate was fuss and half asleep in the car when we got out in the middle of nowhere arkansas and kept reaching for my dad. (sad, right?) (no worries, he smiled big and kissed my face shortly thereafter and wouldn't let go.) (but still.) When we got home, he was opening cabinets (new) and pulling up on the wall (new). Not a big deal, really, but different! How can his coordination improve that much in one week? Additionally, he won't let me out of his sight and he has been extra lovey dovey and crawls fast to follow me like my little shadow.

Would I do it again? Ask me in a year when I am up to my eyeballs in the details of regular, everyday life and have beach stars in my eyes.

Oh, and, no, again, I am most certain that i am not, in fact, pregnant as many of you have suggested. i know i said when nate was 1, but, well, that was a lie. i was telling it to myself and to karl and to you. Ask me in a year when I am up to my eyeballs in sweet toddling toddler love and have newborn baby stars in my eyes.

Lotioning and Oiling. Oiling and Lotioning.

despite all the lotioning and oiling, the minute we got on the plane to come home, my shoulders started peeling. and that, my friends, is when i knew: vaca was over. i was ready for my baby and my bed and my kitchen and my shower and my shampoo anyway.

the dominican was gorgeous. we ate, we snorkeled, we sailed on one of those catamaran hobie thingeys (uh, i felt like i was sailing for two days after we got off.), we slept (like rocks - i swear i haven't slept that deeply since i was 20 weeks pregnant.)

Susan (who brought me that cute green dress!) has some more images up on her blog - they are much better than mine. which i need to, uh, download. after i, um, do some birthday party planning which got DENIED in the stressfulness of getting the baby here and there (um, to STL) before and after the trip.

it's good to be home.

more blogging happening soon. that's a fact.

greetings from punta cana

well, hey there. we are in the dominican, frying our white bodies. the one bottle of aloe we brought is NOT enough. guess i should have tried to get some sort of base tan at home before we left. oh well. um, it feels weird blogging internationally - its like when you call everyday at home you just chat about nothing but when you call everyday on vaca you feel obligated to chat about the weather, and food, etc. (and it feels a little wrong to be on the phone at all really.) apparently the same goes for blogging.... um we are eating food and laying on the beach and there is a swim up bar (which is cooler in concept than in real life i do believe) and there are tons of europeans here and i thought i would be much more self concious about being in a bathing suit than i am. yesterday i even walked around sans top and played in the ocean! tee hee. mom/post nursing boobs and all! dont tell. it was super fun. but i cant do it again b/c i have some rocking tan lines now and, well, i look pretty ridiculous overall. ha. but i care not. ::off to eat steak::

guess what?

i left my camera cord in little rock and i am in st. louis! so you might have to go a few days sans nate pictures. gasp. the horror. apologies.

i hope everyone is having a wonderful sunday.

my drive here was nasty - well, actually it was wonderful until the final 30 miles where all hell broke loose in the form of rain, poop, and tears. solo drives are not my style. solo flight? yes. me behind a wheel? no.

this was the final picture of me pregnant. i kind of miss that big ole belly. it was so beautifully MASSIVE. and, no worries, i don't miss it that much.

fridays on the street

overhead this yesterday while picking up lunch:

scene: two little white boys in school uniforms, blond, freckled, cute, maybe 7 or so?

boy 1: you be beyonce. i'll be rihanna.
boy 2: (holds fingerthumb cell phone to ear): HAAAAAAAAAAAAy beyonce.
boy 1: (holds identical cellular to ear) heeeeeeey rihanna.

identify your toilet ::robot voice please::

uh, this is nate's new face when he isn't thrilled with something.

um, can you say SCARED? (me)

he has been a pretty chill little man for his first 11 months, can we please keep it that way? none of this evil eye scrunch up the face nonsense. cause you know he does that shit when he is MAD. the funniest part is the face comes with noise - like the sucking air between your clenched teeth (um, gums, i guess in his case)... maybe a seeth-ey kind of noise. it's hard to describe. but it scares me. i don't want my baby to be a whiny toddler. how do i combat this? does it have to happen? can we please reverse to the baby on the boobie days? (dear god, he barely sits still enough to take a bottle/sippy these days!) (it's truly frightening how independent he thinks he is these days.)

maybe he is just making a new noise and face and i am being all full of the dramatic. er.

and, have we talked about this? what is it with KIDS and BATHROOMS? i mean the second i leave the bathroom door open, he is OFF on a MISSION to get in there. how does he know? last week, he escaped me and i caught him picking up the little toilet bolt cappey thingeys on the base of the toilet. um, my house was built in the 50s; i don't take those things off to clean...i pretend they are not there...karl says they have wax on the inside but whatever...i don't care what it is - it's old and nast. i am not lying when i tell you that i saw it headed toward his mouth, screamed, slapped it out of his hand, and proceeded to vomit into the toilet. yes. real vomit. from me. if that's not dramatic, i don't know what is.

(now trolling the internet for shiney, new clean! toilet cap bolt thingeys. they come in many colors. who knew? i am thinking of getting them in seafoam. or maybe bermuda coral. i like to mix n match. and the webpages say things like "identify your toilet!" which is never a link i thought i would click on and seriously consider the answer, but here we are!)

disclaimer: i promise i am a relatively laid back mom - he can chew sticks and play in dirt and not bathe for four three days but i draw the line at ANYTHING related to the bathroom.

(hmmm. odd, since that is where he was born.)

(holy shit. i am seeing the connection.)

maddox likes my bangs

hi.

alive.

breathing.

sweating. (SUMMER! YEOW!!)

summer means books, right?

recent books read:
In Hanuman's Hands: A Memoir by Cheeni Rao, Hope's Boy by Andrew Bridges, Mother on Fire by Sandra Tsing Loh, Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts, She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb, Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron.

whistle why (while) you work

what is on my pandora station: the blow, zee avi, heidi newfield, tegan and sara, iron & wine, ben folds, the submarines, and the ting tings. any other artist suggestions?

what is in my fridge: ribs, strawberries, bing cherries, and that big ole watermelon. yum.

i have nothing terribly exciting.

nate is napping twice a day still. he had a slight fever this morning. pretty sure there are some more teeth on the way. (he only has 4! two top, two bottom.) some days at home fly by and i don't even shower, some days go super slow and i want to pawn nate off to karl the second he walks in the door. he isn't really close to walking, but he will pull up on the couch, table, etc. no rush from me. he can crawl fast enough.

i need to get my scanner out so i can participate in way back wednesday posts. i have included this photo of b and i looking like homeless princesses after a night spent roaming the plaza in kansas city barefoot and sitting on the staircase of some seedy bar in a drunken anger b/c some jerk spilt his drink (on the dancefloor) down my back and tried to be all prickish about it. at least, i think that's what happened. ha. super classy. i do not wish to be 23 (24?) again.

(NO drinks on the dancefloor a-hole.)

(see? i am still bitter!)

(if it had just been beer, no worries. but it wasn't.)

though a night of drunken dancing sounds a scoch fun.

summertime: time for watermelon

nate says: join me for some watermelon.

ya'll got patio seatin'?

i have spent most of my day FREAKING OUT about baby maddox and his grand entrance into the world (and blogging at jenny's (internet) place and texting and twittering it). i am unbelievably proud of my dear friend jenny and her husband jeff.

i am also unbelievably proud of myself. um, on a MUCH, MUCH smaller scale. it feels wrong to even tell you this story in the same post that i speak of a woman growing and birthing a baby, but, well, i am going to do it anyway.

(it's not that great. i promise.)

anyway...

today i drove our truck out to bryant (this is a town outside of my snobby more-than-five-miles-is-the-country Little Rock comfort zone)(also, me + truck + highway = yikes.), drove down a gravel road, backed it into a loading dock, and helped load furniture. all with a baby in the car. this city girl done good, right? i feel this should earn me extra points in my (apparent) quest to be considered a true arkansan. (next thing you know i will be attending gun shows.)

but seriously?! Me and the Reverse Button? we don't normally get along. i'm a terrible driver. but i backed that truck in like i had been doing it my whole life. AND i admit it was a little thrilling when the delivery dock dude was doing the "a little more, a little more, a little more, st - no, a little more, ok! (indicated by the universal full palm of stop)" wave in my rearview.

okay, back to our regularly scheduled program of gushing over babies and boobies.

in case you missed it somehow, MADDOX ALEXANDER has arrived.